Im 17, and I dont know how to help my fsil!

mga1015

Hey guys! I've never posted on here before, but I need some help! Soooo here it goes...

Im 17 and my oldest brother is getting married in June. I'm going to be a bridesmaid for FSIL. Her mom and sisters, and even her friends are really dramatic and not helpful to her at all, and basically to complain about everything wedding related. So my mom and I have stepped in and are helping her out a lot with stuff (which has really been fun bc I have basically been planning my wedding since I was five, and its so cool to have a "sister" since I only have brothers in my fam). Anyways, she wants me to come with her to her bachelorette party/weekend (were going to like a theme park place for the weekend), and then they were all gonna go party that saturday night. I obviously cant go with them, so I just said i would stay behind at the hotel room (fun saturday night right?) Am I being a burden to go with them? I mean, she asked me to come, so idk? Is there anything special I could do that would be fun? would it be rude if I asked to bring a friend along so i dont have to be cooped up all alone in the hotel saturday night? idk, what would you do? thanks!

ps- sorry if i was rambling or if this is dumb, but I did not know where else to ask! thanks again! 

CamiSelene

I wouldn't worry about being a burden. She asked you because you two obviously seem to get along and you're going to be family soon. If I were her, I would understand 100% if you asked to bring a friend along so that you aren't bored that night. Heck, I'll probably ask my MoH to make sure she invites my fsil's best friend (also is her plus 1) to my bachelorette too, even though she is of age to go partying simply because she's 19 and would probably have a better time with someone close to her age there as well!

Fran1985

Sounds like you and your mom have already done a lot to help her! If the plan is definitely you staying in the hotel on saturday night, I would absolutely ask if you can bring your best friend. 

cowgirl8238

I feel that you shouldn't be left alone when everyone else is going out and having fun.  In a way that is rude to me.  If you were my BM I would definitly let you bring a friend if you brought it up.  I would just say something along the lines of, "Thanks for including me in your plans, would it be okay if I brought someone along to keep me company while everyone else goes out for the night?"

Another option is for them to go to a place to drink that is also a restaurant so that you could go too.  It seems a bit unfair to make you stay in a hotel room by yourself.  Just a thought!

bunni727

You aren't a burden. I think it'd be fine to ask if you could bring your friend, but I'd probably just bring along a book/movie/laptop/knitting and enjoy the downtime.

AddieCake

I think it's rude of her to ask you to come knowing that you can't participate in the entire weekend. I would never leave one of my bridesmaids out of my party. There should not be a part of the party you are not invited to, especially if this shindig is out of town.

princessleia22

If I were her, I would absolutely let you bring along a friend if you asked.  Or I would try to plan activities where you could come along the whole night.  Actually, I would probably plan to go to a restaurant/bar so you could come along, then ask if you would mind being the designated driver. Or just get some alcohol and party at the hotel.

Of course, it also isn't exactly fun to be the only sober person surrounded by drunk people.  I don't drink (initially it was for medical reasons, then now just by choice).  So, I've been the DD for several drunken outings with friends.  It can be fun and hilarious at times.  You get to be sober enough to actually realize how silly and stupid people get when they are really drunk. But you can also end up having to babysit them all when they are too drunk to think logically. I've had to fight with friends while convincing them not to go home with that creepy, ugly guy. I've had to hold back hair while they threw up. I've had them throw up in/on my car. I've had to convince a friend that it's not good to make out with people on the night before their wedding, especially with a person they've had a crush on since high school. So, if they get stupid drunk, which isn't uncommon for bachelorette parties, you actually may have a better time in the hotel room alone than tagging along with them sober. Although, for their sake, it may be good to have a sober voice of reason there to save them from themselves.

 

antoto

My friend and I had a co-bachelorette party and one of her BM was her FSIL who is 19 or 20.  We all went out to dinner together to make sure she had an activity she could attend before we went to the clubs.  I think as long as she is including an activity you can attend at one point in the evening it is not rude, but I also think there is no harm in asking if a friend can come along.  Ideally a friend she knows or has met though?

MuppetOverlord

I think it's ok to ask if you can bring your friend.

missmarissa14

Since you can't participate in the whole weekend I think it's absolutely ok for you to bring a friend. She can't go out all night with her friends and expect you to be cooped up bored and by yourself -- especially after helping her plan so much. I'm sure she will understand and it's not rude at all for you to ask!

Jen4948

I think you can ask if your friend can come with you since you can't join your FSIL for the whole weekend.  Hopefully she will understand.

[Deleted User]

If I were your FSIL I would let you bring a friend to hang out with you in the evening, just figure out who is going to pay for your friend in advance. Also who knows, depends on what they are planning for evening you can go with them for a little bit, like if they go to dinner before they go to any bars.

Kauris

Is the bachelorette party in your home town? If so would it be possible for you to attend the daytime events only?

Sugargirl1019

Whoever is planning this party needs to make this a two-part event - something appropriate for all bridesmaids to attend, and then something later for the drinking age.

Example: for my best friends wedding, she had her sorority little as a BM. She was 20 at the time. We went to an adorable pottery/canvas painting place that served wine and tea to you, and we had so much fun! After that, we went to dinner together (and those who wanted to drink could drink). Late that evening, those old enough went to a bar for a show. It was great.

You should be able to attend the party for at least half of it without being left all by yourself. I really hope this is not a destination party, where you are stuck at the hotel by yourself because everyone left you? You should go home at 10 pm when dinner ends and bar hopping begins, or go do something with a friend if you want. To be left excluded from a party you were invited to is RUDE on the hosts' (and bride's - she needs to know what's going on!) part.