Divorced parents

Karebearmama1

How do i deal with the fact that my parents dont speak to each other? Am i going to have to choose which one i want at my wedding? They havent spoken in 4 years and my mom is likely to fight my dads gf. I dont know what to do!!!!!

tawillers

Karebearmama1 said:

 my mom is likely to fight my dads gf. 

HisGirlFriday13

Karebearmama1 said:

How do i deal with the fact that my parents dont speak to each other? Am i going to have to choose which one i want at my wedding? They havent spoken in 4 years and my mom is likely to fight my dads gf. I dont know what to do!!!!!

Then you tell them:

'Mom, Dad, this is my wedding day, and it's very important to me. I understand that you don't like each other and that Mom doesn't like Dad's GF, but that's not my problem. I expect you to behave at my wedding, for one day.

You will not have to interact with each other, you will not have to speak with each other, you will ONLY have to be in the same general area of each other. If you cannot do this, I will be hurt and disappointed.

If either of you is incapable of doing, it will negatively impact any future relationship you and I have. Are we clear?'

If your mother is so white-trash tacky that she would physically fight someone (seriously, who does that??), then I'd lean toward inviting dad and GF and not mom, but that's me.

But I would absolutely give both parents an ultimatum -- behave for my wedding day or I will distance myself from you in the future.

NeverTooManyShoes

Your wedding day is about how they feel about you, not each other (or each other's new parters).

Plan to seat them as far away as possible from each other.

Make it clear, if they cannot behave then that will damage your relationship with them. If they try to bitch at you about it in the lead up then just end the conversation.

You never know, they may surprise you. 

thejucheidea

My parents (at the time of our wedding -- they've reconciled now because they found a common enemy) HATED each other. At the wedding, you wouldn't have had a single clue. Our family photos were great, they held each others' hands during the ceremony, et cetera. These people were actively planning divorce during my wedding ramp-up:

Bonus photo, my mom and I hated each other at the time as well (the same mutual enemy my parents have is also an enemy of mine, so really, this asshole has done a lot of good for our family unit, minus my sister, who brought him into our lives :x) but we managed to make it work:

Danger+Zone

"NeverTooManyShoes said: Your wedding day is about how they feel about you, not each other (or each other's new parters).
Plan to seat them as far away as possible from each other.
Make it clear, if they cannot behave then that will damage your relationship with them. If they try to bitch at you about it in the lead up then just end the conversation.
You never know, they may surprise you."---

Exactly this. My parents are divorced. My dad remarried and then divorced my stepmother too! (And he's engaged again.) My game plan is exactly this. If they can to act decent for one damn day, it will be the day I get married. Ask your parents to act like grown ups.

Hisprinc3ss

That sounds like a very bad situation, sorry to hear. This is your wedding day and if they cannot be mature and civilized they don't need to be there! It would suck not to have your parents at your wedding but it would be worst in my opinion for your marital celebration to turn into a brawl.

ReturnOfKuus

Like errant cats, you could just bring a spray bottle filled with water to squirt at them if they act up at the wedding.