Fight Box

kbridges20

FH and I want to do a first fight/wine and words box during our ceremony...we need a few suggestions:

1. How should we introduce/explain it during the ceremony? I know there are wordings out there for unity candles...looking for something similar to say before we seal the box.
2. Ideas on what to put in it besides wine? Neither of us are wine/champagne people...

littlemushroom

www.greatofficiants.com/design-your-ceremony has sample wording for all kinds of different parts of a ceremony.  There is wording there for the Wine Box & Love Letter ceremony, which I think is what you are talking about.  You would have to tweak it a bit, but it will give you a jumping off point.

Since you are planning on using it during your first fight, it doesn't matter what drink you put in.  Wine lasts years, which is why it is typically used.  However, since the time frame isn't likely going to be that long, you could use anything.  I though of a couple bottles of beer, homemade hot chocolate mix in a sealed jar, or a bag of your favorite coffee.

OBX2011

kbridges20 said:

FH and I want to do a first fight/wine and words box during our ceremony...we need a few suggestions:

1. How should we introduce/explain it during the ceremony? I know there are wordings out there for unity candles...looking for something similar to say before we seal the box.
2. Ideas on what to put in it besides wine? Neither of us are wine/champagne people...

I have never heard of this and am curious as to what a fight box is?  Forgive me, but why would you want to include a "fight box" during your ceremony when taking your vows?  Not trying to be rude at all, just curious as to the meaning behind this

Jen4948

OBX2011 said:

kbridges20 said:

FH and I want to do a first fight/wine and words box during our ceremony...we need a few suggestions:

1. How should we introduce/explain it during the ceremony? I know there are wordings out there for unity candles...looking for something similar to say before we seal the box.
2. Ideas on what to put in it besides wine? Neither of us are wine/champagne people...

I have never heard of this and am curious as to what a fight box is?  Forgive me, but why would you want to include a "fight box" during your ceremony when taking your vows?  Not trying to be rude at all, just curious as to the meaning behind this

I don't understand that either.  Without more information, it does sound like you want to get violent during your ceremony and violence has no place at a wedding.  (It should have no place in the world, but of course that's asking for unreality.)

chibiyui

I personally prefer the wine box ceremony as aopen on anniversary, not first fight.

Somethi.g that lasts. Whiskey?

jenna8984

@obx2011 @jen4948 It's a relatively new thing that I've only seen on the internet and not at an actual wedding. You write love notes to each other about what you love about them and during the ceremony you put them in a wood box with a bottle of wine and nail it shut. The main idea is to open it on your 5th or 10th anniversary and enjoy. Some people have started using it instead to open when you have your first major blow out argument to read the notes and reminisce about how much you love each other to get through the fight. Personally, FI and I have never gotten into a fight so we would never get the chance to open it lol. 

theartistformerlyknownas

I don't really like the idea of planning for a fight during your ceremony, either... I like it much better as a more of a time capsule, to open and reminisce while celebrating your tenth anniversary.

My pastor gave me this text as a sample where you actually drink the wine during the ceremony... maybe it could be tweaked to relay the significance of the wine which you then put in the box? At least it gives it a little more symbolism than just "get smashed after your inevitable fight," which would make me kind of uncomfortable. 

In this glass are the fruits of God, Mankind and Mother Earth. The years of our lives are like a cup of wine that is poured out for the sake of labor, honor and love. Many days you will sit at the same table and eat and drink together. Many are the experiences you will share. As with a glass of wine, one of you may find it sweet, the other perhaps dry or somehow different. Let the drink you share today serve as a reminder that although you may perceive things very differently, being right is never more important than being happy. With this space that you give each other, always putting your commitment to love and honor one another first, your lives together will grow deeper, richer and greatly satisfying, like a rare and fine wine. You may now drink from this fountain of love. (Couple gives each other a drink from the same glass)

Jen4948

jenna8984 said:

@obx2011 @jen4948 It's a relatively new thing that I've only seen on the internet and not at an actual wedding. You write love notes to each other about what you love about them and during the ceremony you put them in a wood box with a bottle of wine and nail it shut. The main idea is to open it on your 5th or 10th anniversary and enjoy. Some people have started using it instead to open when you have your first major blow out argument to read the notes and reminisce about how much you love each other to get through the fight. Personally, FI and I have never gotten into a fight so we would never get the chance to open it lol. 

While the actual ritual sounds nice, I wouldn't want to anticipate during my wedding ceremony future fights with my FI.  So I'd call it something else and not refer to fights or anything negative.

Bubblegum5586

I have seen it twice and in both cases it was for the 5 year anniversary to open. One was a bottle of wine and one was a bottle of whiskey.

I think it should be something to look forward to opening not because of a fight.

lookame3639

Fi and I will be doing this only we aren't putting alcohol in the box and it will be opened on our 10th anniversary. We are doing a time capsule where we write love letters to eachother as well as put things of significance throughout our relationship in the box. DS will put something in the box as well.