Hi everyone!
This is really more of a post to say thank you, and a word to the newbies, rather than a question I have.
I came to these boards originally with a question about the wedding I'm planning for next November 2015. I later learned what I was asking about was considered a PPD.
I was utterly convinced what I was considering was NOT wrong, or inconsiderate - I even spouted the classic "MY circle of people wouldn't care." I honestly cringe at the fact I said that. I have come to understand where I was wrong, and why.
I have also come to learn that the opinions of the ladies on here
can be brutal, but they are HONEST! I've lurked quite a bit since I made that post and now after reading numerous posts with all the comments/advice from these Wedding Veterans on here, I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your advice. I read a post on here recently
"It's no wonder etiquette has gone to hell" which I feel really zero's in on where I was coming from.
BritLady talked about how people are not brought up this way anymore. It's a sad fact that our culture and society IS deriving from this, and into this "IT'S MYYY DAAAYYY! And I'll do what I want. Anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to come."
HisGirlFriday13grumbledoreSchatzi13 who always seem to be completely spot on. My grandmother would be the person to ask for all the correct and proper ways to host this wedding for my friends and family, but I lost her years ago - well before getting married was even a passing thought in my head. Thank you all for being such a reliable and honest resource for me to seek out when I (and others alike) need to know what the "Right" thing to do would be.
To all the the PPD planners - Take it from someone who was in the SAME boat you are, these ladies are absolutely correct in saying it is WRONG for you to try and get married on one day, and then have a "Real" wedding on a different day. The argument that got through my thick skull was this: You don't want to deny your family and friends, the people you love, the experience of witnessing your REAL ceremony. My reason was because he's foreign and we have to work around some Visa time constraints. My thought was to get married in time for the Visa, but then to have our "real" wedding on a different date I had told his family from New Zealand would be on. I wanted his family to have the traditional wedding experience, even if it wasn't on the day we signed papers. But by thinking this way, that was EXACTLY what I was doing. I was denying them the opportunity to see their son make a life long commitment to me.
The argument of saying if they REALLY care about you, THEY WON'T CARE is BS. If they REALLY care about you... they'll get there on the day of your real wedding (even if that meaningful dating anniversary falls on a Tuesday) and appreciate it for what it is (even if it is small and a casual courthouse wedding), because THAT was the day you made a promise to your partner to be with them and love them - in sickness, and in health;
for richer, for poorer; to love, and to cherish for as long as you both shall live.
/endthanks
/endrant
