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ohoymate

HisGirlFriday13

First of all, this is not your etiquette faux pas. Take comfort in that.

At this point, I don't think there's anything you can do. To send back the gifts would be terribly rude. You also obviously cannot mention in your TY notes that they're not invited to the wedding.

I would write an overly gushy note, thanking them for their generosity, telling them how grateful you are, and how you're looking forward to seeing them at the shower.

(In general I am not in favour of social lies, but this covers your mother's rudeness. Your guests weren't rude, so they deserve the social lie.)

You certainly have my sympathies, because this is a really horrible situation to be in.

banana468

To add to @Hisgirlfriday13, I'd act VERY happily surprised to see any guests that are not on the guest list and who did not send gifts in advance.

Later I would have a conversation with your mother that you are not pleased that your wishes were ignored which put you in quite the awkward position.

HisGirlFriday13

OP, does your mother know the rule and did she disregard it anyway in an attempt to force you to invite these people to the wedding?

AddieCake

It's definitely not your fault!

ohoymate

Jen4948

It isn't your fault.  Your mother was rude to these guests and I don't think you're obligated to invite them to your wedding because she rudely invited them to your shower.  The rudeness and any repercussions from it are entirely her responsbilities.

HisGirlFriday13

Ugh. I'm so sorry. That just sucks.