Cocktail Hour Seating

[Deleted User]

Our cocktail hour will last 40-45 minutes, we're expecting about 50 guests, and we'll definitely have 20 seats. Is that enough or do we need a seat for each guest? 

Jen4948

20 seats for 50 guests is nowhere near enough.

I've had a very difficult time at cocktail hours where I had to carry my purse, a plate, a napkin, a drink, utensils, and had no place to sit down.  Have a seat for every guest, please.

MandyMost

I've never been to a cocktail hour with seats. At a wedding, or any other business or social event. They often have high cocktail tables that you can stand at and set your drink on, but no seats. However, none of these events have had the level of food that requires utensils. I guess that might be a good rule--if you need utensils, you need seats. But if you're just having passed hors d'oeurves and maybe a simple cheese and cracker type station? You do NOT need a seat for every guest during cocktail hour. Honestly, I find that suggestion absurd and against the whole spirit of the cocktail hour. 

KatWAG

I think 20 seats for 50 people in plenty. I would amke sure you have some high top tables that people can gather around and set down their drinks.

FWIW, I have NEVER seen a cocktail hour with enough seats for everyone.

wandajune6

I'd get more seats. I agree with the PP that it's hard to eat while holding a plate, a wine glass, and a purse. Throw in high heels and I just want to sit! We also have an older crowd at our wedding who wouldn't forgive me for making them stand.

JoanE2012

KatWAG said:

I think 20 seats for 50 people in plenty. I would amke sure you have some high top tables that people can gather around and set down their drinks.

FWIW, I have NEVER seen a cocktail hour with enough seats for everyone.

Same here.  

artbyallie

All y'all saying you don't need more seats, do me a favor. Dress up in a nice dress, heels, do your hair and make-up. Grab your purse, a drink, and a plate. Stand. Tell me now, how are you going to manage to eat and drink and schmooze for an hour? Hmm?

You. Need. Seats! No way in hell am I juggling my purse, possibly a coat or wrap, food, and alcohol while standing in heels for a whole fucking hour. I wouldn't do that for ten minutes.

Jen4948

MandyMost said:

I've never been to a cocktail hour with seats. At a wedding, or any other business or social event. They often have high cocktail tables that you can stand at and set your drink on, but no seats. However, none of these events have had the level of food that requires utensils. I guess that might be a good rule--if you need utensils, you need seats. But if you're just having passed hors d'oeurves and maybe a simple cheese and cracker type station? You do NOT need a seat for every guest during cocktail hour. Honestly, I find that suggestion absurd and against the whole spirit of the cocktail hour. 

Want to freaking bet?  What's "absurd and against the whole spirit of the cocktail hour" is having to juggle drink, plate, napkin, utensils, and purse and risking spilling it all on me while walking around dressed up and in high heels because there's no damn place to sit and put my things down so I can eat and drink.  Not having a seat for every butt is bad hosting-including during the cocktail hour.

MrsMcCaw

I have never been to a wedding that had seats for everyone during cocktail hour unless it was held in the same room as the reception.

Jen4948

Deleted

RebeccaB88

Equal numbers of butts and seats.

banana468

A lot of cocktail hours I've attended lack enough seats for all guests. It annoys me but I deal with it by usually taking a walk.

We solved this by having our cocktail hour in the same room as our reception.

jenna8984

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

KatWAG

artbyallie said:

All y'all saying you don't need more seats, do me a favor. Dress up in a nice dress, heels, do your hair and make-up. Grab your purse, a drink, and a plate. Stand. Tell me now, how are you going to manage to eat and drink and schmooze for an hour? Hmm?

You. Need. Seats! No way in hell am I juggling my purse, possibly a coat or wrap, food, and alcohol while e evestanding in heels for a whole fucking hour. I wouldn't do that for ten minutes.

Yes, I manage just fine at every wedding I have ever attended. That is why I suggested having high top tables to set purses, drinks and plates. If you are going to have everyone sitting, why not just go straight to the meal portion of the evening.

MrsMarende

I have never been to a cocktail hour with any seating. I think cocktail tables are mandatory, but I don't think seats are unless you are serving food that needs silverware. Most cocktail hours I have been to are passed and one bite apps.

Jen4948

jenna8984 said:

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

I have yet to see a man who likes holding his wife's purse and stuff so she can eat appetizers and drink cocktails at a reception.  And it's a terrible imposition on him, just because the hosts couldn't be bothered to provide enough seating.

And how about single female guests, who have no one to hold their stuff for them?

jenna8984

Jen4948 said:

jenna8984 said:

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

I have yet to see a man who likes holding his wife's purse and stuff so she can eat appetizers and drink cocktails at a reception.  And it's a terrible imposition on him, just because the hosts couldn't be bothered to provide enough seating.

And how about single female guests, who have no one to hold their stuff for them?

Where did I say he holds anything of hers? I said men normally don't mind standing because they don't have heels on and they aren't holding anything except a drink. The women will sit and place their purse and food at the table in front of themselves...

Jen4948

jenna8984 said:

Jen4948 said:

jenna8984 said:

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

I have yet to see a man who likes holding his wife's purse and stuff so she can eat appetizers and drink cocktails at a reception.  And it's a terrible imposition on him, just because the hosts couldn't be bothered to provide enough seating.

And how about single female guests, who have no one to hold their stuff for them?

Where did I say he holds anything of hers? I said men normally don't mind standing because they don't have heels on and they aren't holding anything except a drink. The women will sit and place their purse and food at the table in front of themselves...

Even men probably prefer to sit down.

tammym1001

jenna8984 said:

Jen4948 said:

jenna8984 said:

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

I have yet to see a man who likes holding his wife's purse and stuff so she can eat appetizers and drink cocktails at a reception.  And it's a terrible imposition on him, just because the hosts couldn't be bothered to provide enough seating.

And how about single female guests, who have no one to hold their stuff for them?

Where did I say he holds anything of hers? I said men normally don't mind standing because they don't have heels on and they aren't holding anything except a drink. The women will sit and place their purse and food at the table in front of themselves...

My FI would absolutely stand so that I could sit down and he would hold my purse for me if I needed him to so that I could eat. It doesn't mean that he doesn't mind standing though. It just means that he is a gentleman. Also if the man has to stand and has a drink how is he supposed to eat? The woman has a seat and a table and the guy is SOL? That's not right.

ETA: I have never been to a cocktail hour that didn't have enough seats for everyone to sit down. This just seems weird to me and I think it could cause some problems with people trying to figure out who gets to sit and who has to stand and people staying in the chair the entire hour because they don't want to lose it. So some people get to sit and everyone else has to stand for an entire hour. That would bother me. That's too long to stand.

theartistformerlyknownas

I think as long as it's just an hour, there are plenty of tables, a coat check, and food that doesn't require utensils I'd say you're safe with SOME chairs so those who need/want to sit can do so. I think it's understandable not to have a seat for every butt, but I'd probably try to have at least half as many.

Jen4948

tammym1001 said:

jenna8984 said:

Jen4948 said:

jenna8984 said:

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

I have yet to see a man who likes holding his wife's purse and stuff so she can eat appetizers and drink cocktails at a reception.  And it's a terrible imposition on him, just because the hosts couldn't be bothered to provide enough seating.

And how about single female guests, who have no one to hold their stuff for them?

Where did I say he holds anything of hers? I said men normally don't mind standing because they don't have heels on and they aren't holding anything except a drink. The women will sit and place their purse and food at the table in front of themselves...

My FI would absolutely stand so that I could sit down and he would hold my purse for me if I needed him to so that I could eat. It doesn't mean that he doesn't mind standing though. It just means that he is a gentleman. Also if the man has to stand and has a drink how is he supposed to eat? The woman has a seat and a table and the guy is SOL? That's not right.

ETA: I have never been to a cocktail hour that didn't have enough seats for everyone to sit down. This just seems weird to me and I think it could cause some problems with people trying to figure out who gets to sit and who has to stand and people staying in the chair the entire hour because they don't want to lose it. So some people get to sit and everyone else has to stand for an entire hour. That would bother me. That's too long to stand.

But it would be hard for your husband to eat and drink himself if he has to hold your purse for you so you can do it.

I think the point we're trying to make is that everyone should have a place to sit, even during cocktail hour, even if it's "not commonly done" where any given individual is from.

tammym1001

Jen4948 said:

tammym1001 said:

jenna8984 said:

Jen4948 said:

jenna8984 said:

I haven't been to none with enough seating unless it was in the reception space. I understand the pain in the butt to stand in heels while holding food, drink, purse. However the men are usually in comfortable shoes and no purses so they don't mind standing next to their lady while she sits. That's what I've seen anyways. And with passed hor-dourves you just grab one and put it in your mouth so there are no plates or silverware. I'm not trying to be rude, if that really is bad etiquette I apologize but I've honestly never seen it to be a problem.

I have yet to see a man who likes holding his wife's purse and stuff so she can eat appetizers and drink cocktails at a reception.  And it's a terrible imposition on him, just because the hosts couldn't be bothered to provide enough seating.

And how about single female guests, who have no one to hold their stuff for them?

Where did I say he holds anything of hers? I said men normally don't mind standing because they don't have heels on and they aren't holding anything except a drink. The women will sit and place their purse and food at the table in front of themselves...

My FI would absolutely stand so that I could sit down and he would hold my purse for me if I needed him to so that I could eat. It doesn't mean that he doesn't mind standing though. It just means that he is a gentleman. Also if the man has to stand and has a drink how is he supposed to eat? The woman has a seat and a table and the guy is SOL? That's not right.

ETA: I have never been to a cocktail hour that didn't have enough seats for everyone to sit down. This just seems weird to me and I think it could cause some problems with people trying to figure out who gets to sit and who has to stand and people staying in the chair the entire hour because they don't want to lose it. So some people get to sit and everyone else has to stand for an entire hour. That would bother me. That's too long to stand.

But it would be hard for your husband to eat and drink himself if he has to hold your purse for you so you can do it.

I think the point we're trying to make is that everyone should have a place to sit, even during cocktail hour, even if it's "not commonly done" where any given individual is from.

That's what I said

tesgirl123

Most cocktail hours I have been to have a handful of small tables at a bar height without chairs and some that are lower with chairs.  It depends on the size of the space and the food served.   I do not think you need to provide chairs for everyone if the food is light.   Cocktail hours are supposed to be informal and people are meant to move around.   Its been my experience that ones with seating leads people to hunker down at a seat and not move unless its to go to the bar.

FWIW, I have also been at ones with minimal tables and managed just fine to balance my drink, plate and purse while wearing heels and not spill or fall over.   If you cannot stand relatively still in your heels for an hour, how do you expect to dance in them later on?

kmmssg

tesgirl123 said:

Most cocktail hours I have been to have a handful of small tables at a bar height without chairs and some that are lower with chairs.  It depends on the size of the space and the food served.   I do not think you need to provide chairs for everyone if the food is light.   Cocktail hours are supposed to be informal and people are meant to move around.   Its been my experience that ones with seating leads people to hunker down at a seat and not move unless its to go to the bar.

FWIW, I have also been at ones with minimal tables and managed just fine to balance my drink, plate and purse while wearing heels and not spill or fall over.   If you cannot stand relatively still in your heels for an hour, how do you expect to dance in them later on?

OK - that is just dumb.  There is no comparison there whatsoever.  There is a huge difference in standing still for an hour and dancing.

I have to say that for weddings I attend, the cocktail hour is always at the reception venue so seating is never a problem.  Neither is mingling!  I go set my stuff down, get my appies and a drink and chat it up with people.  Having a table does not make me sit and throw my face in my plate.  The only time people get like that is if there isn't enough seating.

Before I retired, my  Commander and I attended a conference with a no-host cocktail hour.  300 people, 6 high top tables, NO chairs anywhere, passed apps AND a huge stationery display of hot stuff that needed forks.  I balanced my plate on my glass so I could eat my apps while holding my purse. It was at the Omni Hotel in Pittsburgh and I would have thought they would have set things up a bit better for so many people - but yeah, 6 high tops and nothing else.  Thank God it was casual attire so no heels.  We lasted 20 minutes and decided to head out for dinner to see if we could see any of the Batman action going on.  They were filming the last Batman movie while we were there.

tesgirl123

kmmssg said:

tesgirl123 said:

Most cocktail hours I have been to have a handful of small tables at a bar height without chairs and some that are lower with chairs.  It depends on the size of the space and the food served.   I do not think you need to provide chairs for everyone if the food is light.   Cocktail hours are supposed to be informal and people are meant to move around.   Its been my experience that ones with seating leads people to hunker down at a seat and not move unless its to go to the bar.

FWIW, I have also been at ones with minimal tables and managed just fine to balance my drink, plate and purse while wearing heels and not spill or fall over.   If you cannot stand relatively still in your heels for an hour, how do you expect to dance in them later on?

OK - that is just dumb.  There is no comparison there whatsoever.  There is a huge difference in standing still for an hour and dancing.

I have to say that for weddings I attend, the cocktail hour is always at the reception venue so seating is never a problem.  Neither is mingling!  I go set my stuff down, get my appies and a drink and chat it up with people.  Having a table does not make me sit and throw my face in my plate.  The only time people get like that is if there isn't enough seating.

Before I retired, my  Commander and I attended a conference with a no-host cocktail hour.  300 people, 6 high top tables, NO chairs anywhere, passed apps AND a huge stationery display of hot stuff that needed forks.  I balanced my plate on my glass so I could eat my apps while holding my purse. It was at the Omni Hotel in Pittsburgh and I would have thought they would have set things up a bit better for so many people - but yeah, 6 high tops and nothing else.  Thank God it was casual attire so no heels.  We lasted 20 minutes and decided to head out for dinner to see if we could see any of the Batman action going on.  They were filming the last Batman movie while we were there.

People here complained that they couldn't stand for an hour in heels.   If you expect to dance at the reception, while wearing the same shoes, you should be able to be on your feet in them for roughly an hour.   I don't think that's dumb.

Your example is extreme and reflects really badly on the venue for lack of tables.   There should be a reasonable number of high top tables for a reception like that.   But maybe the intention was for people to stay a short time.

QueerFemme

I can easily dance or walk in heels for hours. Standing in one spot is totally different.

artbyallie

QueerFemme said:

I can easily dance or walk in heels for hours. Standing in one spot is totally different.

A million times this. Walking/dancing in heels is way easier than standing, and standing in any shoes for extended periods without being able to move much makes my legs/feet sore so much more than anything else.