When should I open the bar?

jparrish32

I am having a Catholic wedding ceremony at 1:00 (so actual start time probably closer to 1:15).  The reception hall is about a 20 minute drive from the church and will be open right after the ceremony.  We plan on having light snacks and beverages available for guests who choose to go right after.  The bridal party is going to take pictures after the ceremony and hopefully we won't take longer than 1.5- 2 hours.  We planned on serving dinner around 5:30 and ending the dance around 10:30 or 11.  My question is, is it rude to not serve alcohol until dinner begins?  I don't want to inconvenience my guests but I also don't want people to be drinking from 3-11..  What are your suggestions?

MrsMarende

You do not have to open the bar prior to dinner, but you should have some non-alcoholic beverages available and food. 

lyndausvi

open the bar immediately. That has always happened at all weddings I've been to regardless of the time of day. Can I ask what is your timeline? 1pm ceremony (should start at 1pm NOT 15 mins late). That ends at 2-2:15. When do you plan on getting to the venue?

jparrish32

If I'm able to start at 1 I will, but every wedding I've ever been to started about 15 min late.  If every one is seated and ready on time I will gladly start at 1:00.  I planned on the ceremony going for about an hour and 15 min so ending around 2-2:15.  My family likes to stick around and chat after weddings so most people won't leave the church until 2:30-2:45.  I figured people would likely be showing up to the reception site at 3:00 and the bridal party would arrive around 5pm.  We plan on having water, coffee, tea, punch, and pop available, but I am going back and forth on when to open the bar.

OliveOilsMom

1.5 to 2 hours for pictures is entirely too long.  Take as many pictures as you can before the wedding.  Also, just because people are standing around chatting, doesn't mean you can't have family pictures in the church while that's going on.  I had a full Catholic Mass and it was under an hour.  So I think you are greatly over estimating your timeline.  Our start time was 5, I was there in our limo bus at 4:50, we started on time.  It is not your fault if people aren't there on time, so why punish the people who do get there on time.

You should open the bar immediate.  Serve food with the beverages.

bethsmiles

Open the bar when people get there. Trust your guests to be adults and drink responsibly no matter how long the bar is open.

banana468

Getting to the reception venue at 5 is too late. Get there for 4 at the latest and have the bar open as soon as guests get there. I'd do your entrance and eat by 4:30.

monkeysip

Yeah, you really shouldn't need that long for photos.  Start the family/church photos right after the ceremony (2:15-ish), then if you want to do a little bit of photos outside or something, you should still be able to make it to your reception hall no later than 4.  I don't think it's okay to make your guests wait to see you until 5 when your ceremony is over at 2:15.

And make sure to serve snacks/drinks in between. 

jparrish32

Thanks for all your input!  I was basing the 1.2-2 hours for pictures on what my photographer said, but we might cut that down a bit and make it to the reception by 4-4:30.  I will definitely have snacks/drinks in between.  Should we plan on moving dinner up as soon as we arrive or keep it around 5:30?

Sugargirl1019

jparrish32 said:

Thanks for all your input!  I was basing the 1.2-2 hours for pictures on what my photographer said, but we might cut that down a bit and make it to the reception by 4-4:30.  I will definitely have snacks/drinks in between.  Should we plan on moving dinner up as soon as we arrive or keep it around 5:30?

I would move dinner up. even if it's just to 5.

lyndausvi

I would move dinner up to 4:30pm.    

I'm thinking 1pm ceremony.  Finish up around 2-2:15 (some mass run longer than others).  Say guests chat until 2:30, then travel 20 mins that gets them there at 3-3:15.   1-1.5 hour cocktail party and you should be feeding them dinner around 4:30pm.

Early for dinner?   In your normal day-to-day sure.  But people often have dinner early on weekends or holidays, so I would not worry about that.

PrettyGirlLost

jparrish32 said:

Thanks for all your input!  I was basing the 1.2-2 hours for pictures on what my photographer said, but we might cut that down a bit and make it to the reception by 4-4:30.  I will definitely have snacks/drinks in between.  Should we plan on moving dinner up as soon as we arrive or keep it around 5:30?

Definitley cut photo time back!  2 hours is waaaay too long for your guests to be waiting around for you to show up, no matter what your photographer's think.

If your ceremony starts at 1pm- which means you start walking down the aisle regardless of who hasn't been seated or arrived yet- it should be done by 2pm.  If you are not doing a receiving line then have that info listed in your program and someone announce it after your ceremony so that your guests get the hint to get their butts to the reception.  And no matter if ppl linger to bullshit, begin taking your pictures immediately following your ceremony.

That means cocktail hour should be from 2pm or 2:30pm, to allow for travel time, until 3pm, and you should arrive at the reception no later than 3:30pm.  I would then start dinner ASAP.

OliveOilsMom

Speak with your photographer about taking as many pictures as you can before the ceremony.  Does your package come with a 2nd shooter?  Mine did and we had the main photographer with us girls and the 2nd shooter with the guys, that way all of those pics were out of the way prior to the wedding.  So after, we just had the two of us, family pictures, and us with the entire WP to do.  We made the last 15 minutes of our cocktail hour and our WP & families made 30 mins of it.

Lizzieyounce

All of the above.  

Our Mass started at 3, on the dot, and we would have walked with out a bridesmaid, too.  Happily she came running in just at the first was starting down the aisle. (Looong story). There were some late arrivals to the Mass, but they waited in the vestibule while we processed in.  That's what the DOC told me, anyway.  I didn't notice as I was too busy being nervous, haha.

 Anyway, Mass ended at 4, guests were ushered out by the DOC while the WP, parents and we took our church pics.  WP/Family shots first, then they left for the reception.  DH and I did our couples shots next then we left.  It took 1/2 hour total.  We did most of the pictures at home (the ladies and I) and then the photog left to get the gentlemen's pics at the church where they were waiting.

 We got to the venue in enough time to enjoy the last 15 minutes of cocktail hour.

The bar was open and there was food and passed HD as soon as the first guest set foot in the door.  We were introduced, socialized for a few minutes, opened the dance floor and dinner started at 5.  We ate then took the reception poses, which weren't many, while everyone danced or finished their suppers.

You don't have to serve spirits, but you should serve beverages and some sort of snack.  It doesn't have to be fancy, but there should be something.  (Honestly though, we really didn't have any over indulgers, even with the bar open for the entire time.  People know how to pace themselves.  If not, the bartender should cut them off.)

Good lucy with the planning and best wishes to you!

jparrish32

I just want to give a quick thank you to everyone who posts on this board.  Before joining TK, I had no clue about some of the etiquette rules and you all have definitely saved me from committing a few mistakes!

PrettyGirlLost

jparrish32 said:

I just want to give a quick thank you to everyone who posts on this board.  Before joining TK, I had no clue about some of the etiquette rules and you all have definitely saved me from committing a few mistakes!

You don't think we are all so mean?! O.o