School or Wedding?

I'm a university student working my way through and am constantly struggling with balancing my wedding planning and my studies and work. Should one take a back burner? Asking for personal experience/advice/etc. Thanks!


Re: School or Wedding?

  • School first
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • School should always come first. Your wedding can always be pushed back if need be, but your school cannot. You've already paid for your classes and you will regret it if you don't do as well because of your planning.

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  • I agree school should absolutely, always, unequivocally come first. Is your FI also in school? Can he take on some of the planning to help you out?
  • I don't think either has to take back-seat if you can get organized and practice some time management! I have been in a super-intense master's program the past 18 months and my wedding is only 1 month after graduation. It's totally possible! I have to catch my self to keep from getting distracted, and I do have a ton of help from my sister who has pitched in time to help with decorating ideas. I also would recommend a wedding planner. Doesn't have to be a super well-known or expensive planner - I'm paying less than $600 for mine who is wonderful, experienced, and building her new market after a relatively recent move. She tells me what I need to get done and when so I don't become lost and overwhelmed, and on the day of - I know she'll handle all the last minute things that I didn't ever have time or intuition to think about.... 

    You're going to school so that you can have a better life - but I don't think that means you have to put off your whole life to have your wedding! 
  • School definitely should come first. If you need to push off the wedding I am sure your fiance' will understand and support you (well he should anyways). I chose to have my wedding a few months after my graduation primarily for the reason of juggling everything. Granted, if everything works out I will be in grad school come the actual big day. Doing everything that you are doing and planning a wedding is possible, but if you seriously feel overwhelmed and your grades are suffering you should let the wedding planning be the one to give, not your school. 
  • School. No-one can EVER take your degree away from you. A wedding is a ONE day, several hour event. Your education is a life time achievement that will carry on and help you every day. 
  • edited April 2014
    School should come first!  Put off your wedding until it is over.  If you want it to be the wedding of your dreams wouldn't you want to put all of your time and energy into it?  It's easy to plan a wedding and go to work but three all at the same time? Not so easy.  Maybe you can expedite your degree by going to school year round if you really want to get to the wedding part.  I feel too many people put so much emphasis on getting married immediately after their engagement.  We are waiting two years and will be getting married in 14 months from today (we got engaged several years after college).  If I had to plan a wedding and work while I was in college I would have gotten so distracted because it is and should be a lot of fun.
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  • krw18krw18 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You can do both, but it really does require a lot of time management, organization, and help from other people.  I only do major planning over breaks, when I have a lot less work to do. When class is in session, I might spend two hours a week doing some planning, but that's only when I've finished all of my work or am bored during my office hours.  Don't be afraid to ask others for help.  My MIL is taking care of the decorations, my grandma is doing flowers and party favors, and my mother is in charge of stationary.  All I do is give my approval.  Also, a binder and "The Bride's Book of Lists" has been indispensable. 
  • I'm also a student, and school definitely comes first. Not to say I haven't been going to bridal shows, trying on dresses, and checking out prospective venues...BUT, we agreed that nothing is purchased/booked right now unless something comes up at a wonderful gotta-have-it now price. We are expecting a pretty big pay increase once I finish my degree, so we have planned accordingly so that our wedding will fall about 1 year after my graduation to give me time to find a job and become established with them before taking off for the wedding, and to bank a little extra money. I understand that venues book fairly quickly depending on the time of year you're looking to have your wedding, and planning is going to be stressful even when you're not juggling school...but I would not by any means let your education suffer. I must say, you're braver than I for planning a wedding while going to school. I'd be a hairless bride with all the added stress!
  • You can do both.  I did. I got married during Christmas break between semesters. But, school is definitely the priority. If the wedding takes priority and your grades slip, you're out a ton of money, especially if you end up dropping or failing a class. You'll also spend more money in the long run by taking longer to finish school.

    However, it's definitely possible to do both.
  • MS2015MS2015 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment

    I'm going to be plying devil's advocate it seems. I have a question for you, if something were to happen to you tomorrow which would you regret more, not being your fiancé's wife or not being a college graduate? For me, balancing school and planning the wedding hasn't been easy but we do not want to wait any longer then necessary to be start our lives together. There will always be something, if you wait until you aren't busy it'll never happen. It has to be your choice but what will come first; school or your relationship?

  • MS2015MS2015 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I meant *playing* 'a' key was being stubburn.
  • If you aren't able to balance both, the put off wedding for a bit to focus on school. Then once school is over you can focus on wedding planning and enjoying it. Wedding planning can be lots of fun & not full of stress, but if you are trying to balance it with too much other stuff, then it can be a miserable process and you won't look forward to your big day.
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