Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bach Party Invite

FI is quite a bit older than I am. I am closer to his son's ages than I am his. One of his son's lives with his girlfriend. I get along with her, but we don't see her a lot because they still do holidays and things separately. I invited her to my shower and she is coming. Do you think I should invite her to my bach party? She is pretty close to the age of the other girls I am inviting. Do you think it would be weird for her to be invited or weird for me to invite her?
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Re: Bach Party Invite

  • I think it depends on what you're doing for your bachelorette party, honestly.

    Mine was lunch out at a restaurant I got to choose (HIBACHI!!!!) followed by touring local vineyards (yay for south-central PA!). Heck, I invited my MOTHER along to mine, because it was very, very low-key, laid-back, and tame.

    If you're having a wild party with strippers and drinking and strip clubs and whatever, you might not want your FDIL to see you that way.

    But I think if you're having a tame b-party, it would be a nice gesture of goodwill and a chance for you to to get to know each other better.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • We are doing mani's at the spa, dinner, and then some bar hopping. I'm not inviting either of our mothers, but mostly because that isn't really either of their ideas of a good time. Maybe I should have asked if any of you ladies would be uncomfortable being invited to a bach party for your potential FSMIL. :)
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  • We are doing mani's at the spa, dinner, and then some bar hopping. I'm not inviting either of our mothers, but mostly because that isn't really either of their ideas of a good time. Maybe I should have asked if any of you ladies would be uncomfortable being invited to a bach party for your potential FSMIL. :)

    That last sentence was kinda what I was thinking when I read your OP, but in the opposite way.
    Despite your age, you're still going to be her stepmother. Do YOU feel comfortable letting your future daughter (step or otherwise) hang out with you and your friends at your party?
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    melbelleupTeddiD34KeptInStitchess-aries8990
  • We are doing mani's at the spa, dinner, and then some bar hopping. I'm not inviting either of our mothers, but mostly because that isn't really either of their ideas of a good time. Maybe I should have asked if any of you ladies would be uncomfortable being invited to a bach party for your potential FSMIL. :)
    That last sentence was kinda what I was thinking when I read your OP, but in the opposite way. Despite your age, you're still going to be her stepmother. Do YOU feel comfortable letting your future daughter (step or otherwise) hang out with you and your friends at your party?
    Yeah I definitely do. We are in our mid thirties so we're a little old for stupid drunkenness and craziness. It will probably be a lot more tame than a normal bach party. I just didn't know how she would feel. We drink with each other when she joins us for dinner and stuff like that, but I will say that FI's son has mentioned that when they go out with their friends she has a tendency to drink too much and embarrass him. I don't know if that would factor in to him even wanting me to invite her. I just want to get some opinions before I invite her because I don't want her to feel obligated.
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  • As the stepdaughter, I might be concerned your friends might be biting their tongues because I'm there.
    I'm in my mid-thirties. My mom is, well... older. Her and her friends absolutely hold back when I'm there. It's awkward.
    It's not even like they'll be talking about penises or what ever. They'll be saying something like, "We took an extra long lunch and decided to play hooky the rest of the day..." glances at me "...And then your mom went back to the office and the rest of us went to happy hour..."
    But that's just from my experience. I have no idea how you and your friends are.
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  • @TeddiD34 - This is true, but my body is too old for the recovery that comes with stupid drunkenness. LOL
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    KaurisTeddiD34pumpkinsandturkeysdolewhipper
  • I think it would be awkward.
  • I think it depends on your personal relationship with her, and none of us can know how it truly is. For this situation, I'd follow the adage that an invitation isn't a subpoena and let her decide if she would be comfortable going or not, esp if you are comfortable with having her there.
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