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Snarky Brides

Am I just being a B?

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Re: Am I just being a B?

  • Sooooo FI's cousin is getting married in late June... aaaand we just got the invitation.  I actually was excited, I thought it would be a thank you card for the gift that we sent them a little while back, and I was excited to see that they had definitely got it.

    RSVP by May 1.  Fine, I already had to request time off from work anyway.  Bonus: We weren't B listed?

    There is a 3 hour gap.  My FI's response: "AWESOME I'M SO EXCITED TO DO SOME BIKING IN THE AREA!"  (Lurkers: If "taking a bike tour of the area" can be listed under "things to do between the ceremony and reception", you might have a gap.)

    I was told that it was going to be "super fancy".  It starts at 4:30 and the invites aren't making ME think it's super fancy.  They have dainty flowers, and somewhat plain paper. I'm thinking cocktail dress for me and tan suit for FI- but I feel we'll get side-eyed for it.  Maybe I'm just being oversensitive about that. Plus, it was just to "hikebikebemerry and hikebikebemerry's FI"; no Mr./Ms... this IMHO also makes the event seem less formal.  However, it's held at a fairly fancy pants place.

    Request on the wedding website that no ladies wear white, as it is reserved for the bride.
    I don't understand what's wrong with this. Someone please explain.

    The misspelled my last name on the invitation. (Whatev. Shit happens, but seriously... FI and I are both on FB, it wouldn't hurt to check.)

    On top of all of this, this part of FI's family can be really obnoxious to my FMIL, who is AWESOME.

    This is one of those weddings where I wish that there was a box for "resentfully attend".  Or is that my PMS talking?

  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014
    wiggsaj said:



    Sooooo FI's cousin is getting married in late June... aaaand we just got the invitation.  I actually was excited, I thought it would be a thank you card for the gift that we sent them a little while back, and I was excited to see that they had definitely got it.

    RSVP by May 1.  Fine, I already had to request time off from work anyway.  Bonus: We weren't B listed?

    There is a 3 hour gap.  My FI's response: "AWESOME I'M SO EXCITED TO DO SOME BIKING IN THE AREA!"  (Lurkers: If "taking a bike tour of the area" can be listed under "things to do between the ceremony and reception", you might have a gap.)

    I was told that it was going to be "super fancy".  It starts at 4:30 and the invites aren't making ME think it's super fancy.  They have dainty flowers, and somewhat plain paper. I'm thinking cocktail dress for me and tan suit for FI- but I feel we'll get side-eyed for it.  Maybe I'm just being oversensitive about that. Plus, it was just to "hikebikebemerry and hikebikebemerry's FI"; no Mr./Ms... this IMHO also makes the event seem less formal.  However, it's held at a fairly fancy pants place.

    Request on the wedding website that no ladies wear white, as it is reserved for the bride.
    I don't understand what's wrong with this. Someone please explain.

    The misspelled my last name on the invitation. (Whatev. Shit happens, but seriously... FI and I are both on FB, it wouldn't hurt to check.)

    On top of all of this, this part of FI's family can be really obnoxious to my FMIL, who is AWESOME.

    This is one of those weddings where I wish that there was a box for "resentfully attend".  Or is that my PMS talking?




    It is rude to tell your guests what to wear. Nobody is going to confuse a guest for the bride if she happens to wear a white dress, and it is not going to make you any less married.
    Although I think that guest is stupid. I'd side eye.

    Does no one have problems with the biking in between the ceremony and reception for a "fancy pants" event??? It's making me laugh imagining how you'll turn up at the reception :)

    Also OP, I am the same way.. Being super judgmental about invitations that come through the door.. So.. Yea we are a little bit bitchy, but we just need to be careful who we snark to.

    image   image   image

    wiggsaj
  • Sooooo FI's cousin is getting married in late June... aaaand we just got the invitation.  I actually was excited, I thought it would be a thank you card for the gift that we sent them a little while back, and I was excited to see that they had definitely got it.

    RSVP by May 1.  Fine, I already had to request time off from work anyway.  Bonus: We weren't B listed?

    There is a 3 hour gap.  My FI's response: "AWESOME I'M SO EXCITED TO DO SOME BIKING IN THE AREA!"  (Lurkers: If "taking a bike tour of the area" can be listed under "things to do between the ceremony and reception", you might have a gap.)

    I was told that it was going to be "super fancy".  It starts at 4:30 and the invites aren't making ME think it's super fancy.  They have dainty flowers, and somewhat plain paper. I'm thinking cocktail dress for me and tan suit for FI- but I feel we'll get side-eyed for it.  Maybe I'm just being oversensitive about that. Plus, it was just to "hikebikebemerry and hikebikebemerry's FI"; no Mr./Ms... this IMHO also makes the event seem less formal.  However, it's held at a fairly fancy pants place.

    Request on the wedding website that no ladies wear white, as it is reserved for the bride.
    I don't understand what's wrong with this. Someone please explain.

    The misspelled my last name on the invitation. (Whatev. Shit happens, but seriously... FI and I are both on FB, it wouldn't hurt to check.)

    On top of all of this, this part of FI's family can be really obnoxious to my FMIL, who is AWESOME.

    This is one of those weddings where I wish that there was a box for "resentfully attend".  Or is that my PMS talking?

    It is rude to tell your guests what to wear. Nobody is going to confuse a guest for the bride if she happens to wear a white dress, and it is not going to make you any less married. Although I think that guest is stupid. I'd side eye. Does no one have problems with the biking in between the ceremony and reception for a "fancy pants" event??? It's making me laugh imagining how you'll turn up at the reception :) Also OP, I am the same way.. Being super judgmental about invitations that come through the door.. So.. Yea we are a little bit bitchy, but we just need to be careful who we snark to.
    To the first bolded,  I totally will snark on the internet- but would not return rudeness with rudeness by making a scene and say "OMG BECAUSE YOU GUYZ HAVE A GAP WE'RE GOING BIKING- DO YOU HEAR THAT BIKING!!!"  We would just go off on our own and not make a big deal about it.. and leave enough time to shower before the reception :-P.

    To the second bolded, I am super careful who I snark to.  I go to the internet when I'm annoyed and want to bitch- here on the magical internet, anyone who is offended can just write me off as some uppity B on the internet, which is fine with me.
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I just want to say,

    If I got an invite to Jen or Jenny versus Jennifer, I would have not given it a second thought in terms of wedding formality. Prior to coming here, I didn't even realize that there could be seen a difference.
  • I just want to say,

    If I got an invite to Jen or Jenny versus Jennifer, I would have not given it a second thought in terms of wedding formality. Prior to coming here, I didn't even realize that there could be seen a difference.
    Yeah I'm kinda the same. Abby or Abigail, with or without the Miss. - I probably wouldn't even notice or think anything of it before coming here. And honestly - for our STD, I didn't do Mr. & Mrs. or long formal names because I think it just kinda makes the envelope more cluttered looking. I'm a label printing person (I know, I know - it's a no no) but I'll honestly probably just end up using the same labels that are technically less formal for our invites because it's easy. But honestly we'll have wedding party in tuxes, will expect some guests in suits and really wouldn't actually be surprised if someone wears jeans. And it's all fine with us. :-) 
  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    The notion that the invitation was more about personal style than setting the tone for your wedding is a crock of s#!t.  One of these would make me think...'I should dress fancy'.  The other says "jeans and beer"

    If you can't tell the difference just by looking that them, you have bigger problems.

    and btw, @wiggsaj if your wisdom of 17 indicates it's okay to tell adults what to wear, you go ahead and do that.  Can I have an invitation?  I'll bring my own popcorn, I promise.

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    NYCMercedeshikebikebemerry
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    I just want to say,

    If I got an invite to Jen or Jenny versus Jennifer, I would have not given it a second thought in terms of wedding formality. Prior to coming here, I didn't even realize that there could be seen a difference.
    I know FI would've felt the same. She's Sophia, but everyone calls her Sophie. I know we've gotten invitations for Ms. Sophie and Ms. Fiona that were formal (with our last names) and she didn't think twice about it being Sophie and not Sophia. I think a lot of people don't even fully realize she is Sophia.
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I could see titles looking weird with nicknames but if a guest truly does not go by their full legal name socially (like Sophie ex. above) addressing her invite to Ms. Sophie Lastname makes sense for a formal event because you still want to do whatever is comfortable for the guest in this situation.

    I don't think it would be appropriate to add a title with a slang nickname like S-Dawg (Ms. S-Dawg?) and addressing an invite to S-Dawg would definitely indicate a less formal occasion. The distinction between using a title or not is a little more clear in terms of formality but nicknames could also be used to indicate formality of address depending on what the nickname is.

  • Do you really have to have the, what I consider, 'old fashioned' invitations to have your event be considered formal? 

    Our photographer designed our invitations and they're much more modern than the foil printed script in the picture above, but they're still very professional, artful, and formally designed.
    Our event is nearly black tie (of course I'm not putting that anywhere because its not required at our venue). But we have all the makings of a black tie event except for valet service-- the parking lot is right there and free. 

    I'm not too worried about people dressing especially formal. I'd be happy with cocktail attire, but I figure people will dress how they please even if they did get the boring-- fancy pants-- foil print-- 3 envelops, with a ribbon tied around it and tissue paper inside (what the heck is that for??).

    I LOVE our invitations and wouldn't do it differently!
    laceykeo
  • afaber24 said:
    Do you really have to have the, what I consider, 'old fashioned' invitations to have your event be considered formal? 

    Our photographer designed our invitations and they're much more modern than the foil printed script in the picture above, but they're still very professional, artful, and formally designed.
    Our event is nearly black tie (of course I'm not putting that anywhere because its not required at our venue). But we have all the makings of a black tie event except for valet service-- the parking lot is right there and free. 

    I'm not too worried about people dressing especially formal. I'd be happy with cocktail attire, but I figure people will dress how they please even if they did get the boring-- fancy pants-- foil print-- 3 envelops, with a ribbon tied around it and tissue paper inside (what the heck is that for??).

    I LOVE our invitations and wouldn't do it differently!
    There's no such thing as 'nearly' black tie.  It either is or it isn't...
    Your invitations set the tone for the wedding.  If they are very modern but not with engraving, fancy fonts, and proper wording, I would not be in a ball gown...but a cocktail dress - which by the sounds of things your fine with.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    LDay2014 said:
    afaber24 said:
    Do you really have to have the, what I consider, 'old fashioned' invitations to have your event be considered formal? 

    Our photographer designed our invitations and they're much more modern than the foil printed script in the picture above, but they're still very professional, artful, and formally designed.
    Our event is nearly black tie (of course I'm not putting that anywhere because its not required at our venue). But we have all the makings of a black tie event except for valet service-- the parking lot is right there and free. 

    I'm not too worried about people dressing especially formal. I'd be happy with cocktail attire, but I figure people will dress how they please even if they did get the boring-- fancy pants-- foil print-- 3 envelops, with a ribbon tied around it and tissue paper inside (what the heck is that for??).

    I LOVE our invitations and wouldn't do it differently!
    There's no such thing as 'nearly' black tie.  It either is or it isn't...
    Your invitations set the tone for the wedding.  If they are very modern but not with engraving, fancy fonts, and proper wording, I would not be in a ball gown...but a cocktail dress - which by the sounds of things your fine with.
    Yeah that would be like being 'nearly' pregnant.

  • The notion that the invitation was more about personal style than setting the tone for your wedding is a crock of s#!t.  One of these would make me think...'I should dress fancy'.  The other says "jeans and beer"

    If you can't tell the difference just by looking that them, you have bigger problems.

    and btw, @wiggsaj if your wisdom of 17 indicates it's okay to tell adults what to wear, you go ahead and do that.  Can I have an invitation?  I'll bring my own popcorn, I promise.

    image
    image


    Um, one of those is clearly for a wedding, it says so on the invite.  The other is clearly for a backyard BBQ, it says so on the invite.  I don't need to infer anything from color, font, or weight of the paper.  The words give me the information I need.  You dress up for weddings.  You may or may not dress up for the backyard BBQ depending on where you are from.  
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