Okay, I love FI and mostly love his family. His father though can get on my nerves sometimes. He is nice to me but can be a jerk to others. Just a warning, you are going to hear about some weird family dynamics.
Basically, FI and I setup the guest list. We consulted him for his side of the family and my parents for my side, but we couldn't consult his mom because she passed away. So we asked an aunt on his mom's side to help. Now I've never met these people because they live in Kansas and I live in OR and the minute FIs mom passed away, his dad stopped talking to that side of the family. That means that FI hasn't seen them since his mom's funeral, almost 10 years ago. They aren't mad at him. In fact, most adore him (most people do). They know it started because of his dad and FI has talked to that side, but hasn't been able to afford to visit. We talked to the aunt and everyone wants to be invited, which is fine and dandy with us. We would be honored if some would come (many of them actually lived with FI when they were transitioning from school to work force, so they used to be really close). We want the family to open back up and we are making visiting them priority number one in the next year.
Well yesterday FI asked his father if he would like to be involved in anything. FI and I have been planning everything with our parents. We didn't want him to feel left out. Well somehow he started talking about the guest list and apparently was pretty upset that we invited his mom's family, because he hates them. Luckily FI shut down that hissy fit so fast. He simply said "Save the Dates went out already. Family is already invited, nothing we could do about now. And they may not be your family anymore, but they are my family so this discussion is over"
Yay FI! FFIL may be pissy because he views this "re-connection" as my fault, but I was so proud of my quiet FI who is generally reluctant to start confrontation.
Sorry about the vent. Just wanted to grump and not at FI because he was so wonderful!