Rant: teen boys are horrible

wandajune6

They lie
They smell awful
They whine incessantly
They eat everything in sight, as long as it isn't healthy- and they have a particular taste for anything they've been told not to touch
They backtalk

I love my future stepson but after a week of single parenting (his dad's traveling), I've never been so happy to ship him off to his mom's for the weekend.

Today's fun: stepping out of my home office to find him eating from a pot with a serving spoon. What was it? The beautiful beef stew I had put in the fridge to cool/de-fat for tomorrow night. He dropped some out of his mouth back into the pot. Dinner destroyed.

Next, lying to me about what time I drop him with his mom. He thought it would be funny if I was the one to get in trouble with her for once.

Then, for the pièce de résistance, his mom tells me that he's been complaining that I haven't given him lunch this week. He packed a lunch every day and, come to find out, he bought a second lunch on top of it. Fortunately, she knows that he just wants more lunch money so he can buy junk food. The kid tried to play us both.

Tell me- are all teenage boys total assholes? And do they grow out of it?

ETA: I love him, I just don't like him today!

JCbride2015

Former high school teacher here.  This sounds like pretty typical teenage boy behavior.  He's trying to push his boundaries and see what he can get away with, especially because this is the first time you're watching him alone.

It's not being an asshole.  It's just that his brain isn't developed for adult decisions yet.  How old is he?

Sounds like you're handling it okay.  Be firm and stay calm.  He should have a serious consequence for lying and essentially stealing extra lunch money from his mom.  And make sure you don't rely on him to be the middleman in any communications between you/dad/mom.  It's an awkward position for a kid to be in, and gives him the opportunity to wreak havoc.

AddieCake

I'm a high school teacher, and I teach seniors. Graduation is like 2 months away. I feel your pain. 

jdluvr06

It isn't just teenage boys. It is teenagers in general. They love to push boundaries.

HaileyDancingbear

Ughhhhhhh I hated teenage boys when I was in high school, and my opinion has not changed.  They're just gross, and mean as fuck.  I mean, there are always a few great kids who don't get sucked into the general douchebaggery that is high school boy mentality, but for the most part they were just disrespectful towards everyone, and just so, so, so freaking mean and manipulative.

I noticed the behavior starting up in a class we teach for school age kids.  They're a bit younger, but they're starting that shit already.  One of the kids called another boy F-A-T (As in, knew it was bad enough to spell it out, but not bad enough to say to someone?????)  and the cherry on top is that the kid who got called fat has down syndrome- so no, he's not fat, he was fucking born that way, but thank you for making him feel bad about it (Sorry, the number one thing I absolutely fucking hate with a passion is picking on/bullying people who have mental disabilities or special needs.  It is so not ever ok.)  Both my boss and I dropped what we were doing and immediately demanded an apology, telling the kid that it is absolutely not OK to say mean things to each other and we absolutely will not tolerate bullying.  I don't think he'll say anything mean again, the second we responded (We're always VERY positive and nice etc. so to see us be stern and serious must have been a shock) he clearly instantly regretted saying it and apologized multiple times.

I think the problem is that it's hard to listen to the radio, watch TV, read magazines, surf the internet etc. and not feel reassured that it is totally OK to be a giant douche and treat people like shit.  The media is fucking mean. 

wandajune6

Thank you all! I just needed a good vent!

He turned 15 a few weeks ago. He's a bit immature for his age, something that is likely due in part to his learning disability (his comprehension scores are several years behind). He's normally a sweet kid but he's tested the limits of my patience this week.

@JCBride2014- you're totally right. And for him, his brain is even more challenged by all of this. We avoid letting him be the go-between for exactly that reason. Plus, he doesn't pay attention to details and gets things wrong frequently. When he's the go-between, things fall apart.

@Hailey- I'm with you! He's special ed and big (eats too much but doesn't have the best judgment with food) so we're particularly sensitive to how we talk to him about issues. Unfortunately, I sometimes worry that we're being too easy about him when there's bad behavior.

KPBM89

This post reminds me of Rita from the Bridesmaid movie when she's talking about her sons.

HaileyDancingbear

@wandajune6 I hear ya, special ed kids can be a lot harder to work with because it's not always easy to know where to draw the line between being accommodating and being a pushover.  

Now I only work with these kids for a few hours at a time, so absolutely take this with a grain of salt because dealing with a kid for a few hours and raising one are vastly different, but where I work we're very positive and kind towards all of the children, and while we certainly work to be more patient with children who have special needs, we try to treat them the same way we treat the others whenever possible.  For instance the kid who got called fat (And it STILL makes me mad that that happened) has some issues with setting boundaries when girls are involved (I'm thinking too much tv or movie influence?) he jumps from one inappropriate behavior to another, either asking to kiss the girls or being mean to them.  

We just very nicely remind him to correct those behaviors- for instance we explain that it's ok to kiss mommy, but other girls don't want to be kissed, or that girls don't really like being yelled at etc.  He called me "babe" once and I just let him know (In a very nice voice, because I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn't mad at him or anything) that I don't like being called babe.  He said ok and didn't call me that again- I think when they start getting older they try to test the boundaries and see what they can and can't get away with.  It's ok to set the same boundaries with a child who has special needs that you would with a normal child, as long as you are willing to put in some extra patience and be as positive as you can be.

CMGragain

Teenage girls - especially 8th grade girls - are worse.  They become human again about age 16.  Boys are delayed, and don't get human until age 17 or 18.  I raised one of each.
The smarter ones are more difficult.  They are sneaky and crafty, and know how to push your buttons.  They want all the freedoms and privileges of being an adult without any of the responsibilities.  We occasionally see them here on The Knot.  They are the brides who say, "But, it's MY DAY!"
Hang in there.  Someday he will grow up, and you may have a wonderful relationship.

wandajune6

hoppersgirl25 said:

This post reminds me of Rita from the Bridesmaid movie when she's talking about her sons.

Love the gif! And we've been there too...

wandajune6

CMGragain said:

Teenage girls - especially 8th grade girls - are worse.  They become human again about age 16.  Boys are delayed, and don't get human until age 17 or 18.  I raised one of each.
The smarter ones are more difficult.  They are sneaky and crafty, and know how to push your buttons.  They want all the freedoms and privileges of being an adult without any of the responsibilities.  We occasionally see them here on The Knot.  They are the brides who say, "But, it's MY DAY!"
Hang in there.  Someday he will grow up, and you may have a wonderful relationship.

So much to look forward to.... oye.