Question on addressing the envelopes

jenna8984

We are not "formal" and our wedding will be classy but I wouldn't call it formal. It's in the afternoon and the men aren't wearing full tuxes/ suits. It's not backyard BBQ casual but somewhere in between. 

 1. Do I have to put titles on the envelopes? Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith or can it just be The Smith's or Joe & Mary Smith? 

2. Does the male always come first? I have a lot of unmarried female friends that I'm inviting so it seems weird to send it to Joe Smith and Mary Jones when Mary is really the one I'm inviting and Joe just happens to be her date/ boyfriend. I would find it odd if my friend sent my invitation to Jenna's Fiance and Jenna. Feels like I'm the plus one.

AddieCake

We didn't use titles. I think it's ladies first.

CMGragain

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe  (married)
Ms. Mary Doe and Mr. John Doe  (married)

Ms. Mary Doe 
Mr. John Doe  (not married)

You should always use proper titles when addressing mail.  You can use informal wording in a letter, but not on the envelope.  A wedding invitation is a formal piece of mail, no matter what the level of formality of the event.  For instance, if I were writing my daughter, I address the letter to Mrs. David Jones, but I write "Dear Amazon,"

amygrant20

I think it is better to use titles. You might end up writing names of husbands of your female friends first if you go with male first and same way, names of the wives of your male friends first in case of ladies first.

jenna8984

OK thank you!! 

Maggie0829

As long as you spell my name correctly I couldn't care less about titles or following the "right" way of addressing an envelope.

CMGragain

So why are you posting about it, if you don't care?

jenna8984

I'm with Maggie. I asked because I would like to know what is "proper" for the older generations who may care. But I think the majority of young people don't care or notice small things like that- I know I don't. 

sheslikeasunburn

I am young and I notice these things. I have been to a few more casual weddings and the envelopes were properly addressed. When it comes to this kind of thing, if doesn't in itself indicate the formality of the event, and more so indicates if the bride has any reverence for proper etiquette. Don't cheapen yourself.

sheslikeasunburn

@schatzi13 agree!

@jenna8984 since you want your wedding to be a "classy" affair, i would set the right tone and follow etiquette protocol with your invites.  i know it may seem silly, but it is not a lot of extra work.  good luck!