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Invites and Paper

Invitation Budget

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Re: Invitation Budget

  • It is perfectly proper to not include paper RSVPs.  They were considered to be rude until the 1970s.  The real problem is that many modern people are too ignorant or careless to respond without spoon feeding them the pre-printed cards. 
    I'm with your FI.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:

    It is perfectly proper to not include paper RSVPs.  They were considered to be rude until the 1970s.  The real problem is that many modern people are too ignorant or careless to respond without spoon feeding them the pre-printed cards. 
    I'm with your FI.

    I still see lots of backlash here about online RSVPs though, which is why I was so unsure. Oh well. I can definitely use the money saved somewhere else so online RSVPs it is. I will provide my phone number as well in case people have problems with the website or are otherwise uncomfortable responding online.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited April 2014
    KGold80 said:
    So maybe you gals have some advice (don't want to start a new thread!). FI wants to do online RSVPs to save money on postage and envelopes. I like the idea of paper RSVPs much better given the formality of our wedding. It isn't a backyard BBQ type of occasion although it isn't the fanciest in town either. I'm using WW's website because I liked their options better, and I had my MOH test the online RSVP system. It worked fine, but I am still really unsure that is the way I want to go. There is only one person on our guest list who wouldn't be physically able to RSVP online and that's my grandmother but she couldn't even send in the card. She has Alzheimer's. How do I convince FI that traditional rsvps are the way to go?
    I feel a wedding deserves more than an online RSVP.  Electronic RSVPs seem more appropriate for a backyard BBQ.  The costs for paper RSVPs really should be a very small portion of your overall budget.  I'd cut elsewhere before I cut out the paper RSVPs.
    AddieCake
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I despise online RSVPs. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    While you don't have to include paper RSVPs, I strongly advise against online RSVPs as the sole method to respond.  That is, I'm not opposed to them as long as there is an acceptable alternative, because there are two problems with online RSVPs:

    1) Not everyone has a computer or access to the Internet, or is sufficiently tech-savvy to be able to so respond, and
    2) Online RSVPs have a vibe of informality about them and come without a vibe of urgency and necessity.  People for some reason take them less seriously and/or think it's okay to blow off online RSVPs.  A paper one, on the other hand, does give more of a sense that a response is mandatory.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2014
    When you receive an invitation with Rsvp. on it, you should immediately send a note either accepting or declining the invitation.

    "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe accept the kind invitation of Bride and Groom (parents for (date).  Yours truly, Jane Doe." 

    If email or telephone options are provided, you may use these, but a written reply is always the most proper response.  A pre-printed Rsvp. card implies that the guest doesn't have the good manners to properly reply to a formal invitation.  This is WHY they were considered rude in the past.  Miss Manners' daughter didn't use them for HER wedding, and neither did I.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    When you receive an invitation with Rsvp. on it, you should immediately send a note either accepting or declining the invitation.

    "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe accept the kind invitation of Bride and Groom (parents for (date).  Yours truly, Jane Doe." 

    If email or telephone options are provided, you may use these, but a written reply is always the most proper response.  A pre-printed Rsvp. card implies that the guest doesn't have the good manners to properly reply to a formal invitation.  This is WHY they were considered rude in the past.  Miss Manners' daughter didn't use them for HER wedding, and neither did I.
    The problem with this is many people, especially in today's generation, don't know about this.  I certainly didn't when I was planning my wedding.  Sadly, if nothing is provided in way of contact back to the sender, people will probably push the invitation aside and not do anything.  
  • My own daughter did all three.  70% used the card, two ladies ignored that card and responded with handwritten notes, two telephone calls, and the rest used the wedding website Rsvp.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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