Registry and Gift Forum

FMIL Pushing me to register

We just sent Save the Dates for our November wedding and haven't set a shower date yet, but FMIL has been pushing me for a registry. I don't think any family members have asked about it yet, she has admitted that she is just eager to start shopping. She even posted a public comment on our wedding website referencing the registry and said "get it going".

My Fiancé and I have lived together for 4 years now, and although we are excited to upgrade a lot of stuff, we aren't really in "need" of much. We haven't started a registry yet because I have read that many products change or get discontinued. We are also in the middle of house hunting, and thought it might be helpful to hold off a bit to see if we close on a house and see what we need.

Seven months out from our wedding with no shower date in sight, I didn't see the need to rush out and register. I highly doubt anyone is chomping at the bit to see what kind of china patterns I pick out, and I kind of assumed most people wouldn't give my registry a second thought until the shower date was announced. 

What are your thoughts? Should I bite the bullet and "get it going"? Honestly the more she pushes me the more I want to put it off, so I would be interested in your thoughts.

Thanks :)

Re: FMIL Pushing me to register

  • I would not let your FMIL push you. Explain to her, what you explained to us.. and leave it at that. Most people will not look at it anyway until the shower date gets closer. Just food for thought, though. :)
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  • dodger911dodger911 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    I have explained it, but she keeps asking. I figured most people won't look for it until the shower starts rolling around.
  • Have your FI talk to her and tell her that you will be registering but want to wait a bit. Let him deal with FMIL.
  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    It is early but not insanely so.  Maybe you can start one with the very basics (crockpot, toaster, whatever) and then casually add things as you decide what you would like.
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  •  Emmy1493 said:

    I would not let your FMIL push you. Explain to her, what you explained to us.. and leave it at that. Most people will not look at it anyway until the shower date gets closer. Just food for thought, though. :)

    It depends on where you register.   If you register for stuff like china and crystal at a place that has sales (ie Macys) people might buy you gifts early if there is a sale.   My aunt bought my shower gift 4 months before the shower because my knife set was on sale and because it was Friends and Family.  If you register at a place like Bed Bath and Beyond which rarely has sales, then you are okay to wait.

    You are right about seasonal merchandise and stuff going out of stock though, which is very annoying.

  •      It must be a FMIL thing. The second question she asked after finding out we were engaged was 'Where are you registered at?' The first was 'when is the date'. We didn't have either at the time. She hasn't pushed at all, and she is a great person, but I can't figure out why she thought we'd be registered somewhere 3 days after the proposal!

  • No one (except maybe your mom and MIL) will look at your registry until they receive a shower invite.  I started "looking" at what I maybe wanted to register for and started making my own list 5-6 months prior to the wedding but did not actually register until February for my June wedding. My shower was in April.  And even after I registered I added and deleted things all the time. Tell MIL to chill out.

  • If you want to shut her up you could just start a Macy's registry with one thing on it and say "there, it's started!" :)

    But I did do my registry early, cuz I didn't want to worry about it later. We'll update it closer to the shower dates, to allow for seasonality and if we change our minds. We just moved in together recently so we have a lot of duplicates anyway, so we're gonna have a garage sale this summer to sell anything we hope to upgrade.

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