Seating requests

junctionmeg

Ladies: I need an unbiased opinion, so hopefully you all can give me that. I just had a BM email me, telling me exactly who she wants at her table at the reception. My first thought was "Whaaat..." but the context is that she has a lot going on, life stress-wise, and is very concerned about how her family will respond to the person she is bringing to the wedding. One side of me is trying to remember that, be considerate, and support this person who (obviously) is important to me. The other side of me thinks that the way to deal with that is not to instruct the bride on how to manage it (and I have a lot on my plate too....), and if it's causing such angst then maybe it's not really such a great idea to bring this person (and the ensuing drama). 

Am I being self-centered bridezilla here? 

KittyKaty20

While it is rude of her to dictate the seating chart, we as brides/groom do not get to decide whom our guests bring as dates (unless there is a potential for harm/violence/etc.)

Pick your battle carefully...remember that you and your husband shouldn't have any drama on your wedding day, and if you CAN accommodate a seating chart that eliminates/reduces the chances of said drama, your day will be all the more enjoyable.

If she asks you about her (rude) email, I would say that you will do your best to have a stress-free reception for all your guests.

FutureMrsN3312

If your seating chart isn't done yet I'd try to accommodate her but I wouldn't cause myself any additional stress over it.  My FSIL got married July 2012.  Seating was already done when family members started calling making requests of where they sat.  I automatically looked at FI and said "You realize I won't be so nice.  Once the seating is done it's done"

As we get closer and the RSVPs come in I say the same thing.  I don't know about anyone else but I'm typically only at the table while eating dinner.  Once that's done I'm off dancing and mingling with people.  I don't stress over where I'm going to sit.

dluberts

Im not doing seating charts. My guests can sit wherever they please. Even if I did assign sears people would change seating to how they please(yes it happens at every event the family does). I agree with trying to accomodate her. I would also call and talk to her personally and discuss her demand. Find out more on the situation, and explsin your own situation.  Hopefully she will he understanding, and vice versa.

tammym1001

I would say if you don't have the seating chart complete yet and you can accommodate her then that would be nice. It would also probably benefit you because then you don't have to worry about any drama on that day. If it would make things difficult for you though then I wouldn't worry about it. I can't imagine asking someone to seat me with certain people on their wedding day. It's not a fundraiser where you're sponsoring a table or something!

junctionmeg

Thanks, y'all. Appreciate the feedback, and you're right - as it is in fact still possible to accommodate her, I will try to do so without going nuts over it - and KittyKaty20 makes a good point that once we include "& guest" then whoever that person is should be welcomed. 

Thanks for the perspective - looks like a lot of you are also coming down to the wire - hope you're all feeling good and excited!