Decided on a adult reception

alyssalovesriann

Hi! My fiance and I decided that we would like to have a adult reception. We have several issues though, we have already printed our invitations so we can't add anything to them. Next, my goddaughter is in the wedding as the flower girl, should she be allowed to stay at the reception? Also, is it appropriate to put in a little card in along with the invitation to state that we are having an adult reception?  What is appropriate wording to use to state that we are having a adult reception without being bold and forward about it? Please help!!

Jen4948

Well, even if you hadn't already printed your invitations, it wouldn't be polite to put any kind of "adults only" message on them.  There is no acceptable wording for indicating that someone isn't welcome.

But your goddaughter should be allowed to stay at the reception just like any other guest-in fact, even more so because minor or no she is a wedding party member.

wrigleyville

1) Just address the invitations to the adults. If anyone RSVPs with their kids, just call them and say, "We're sorry, but the invitation was for you and John." If they argue, they are the rude ones, not you. Just state, "I'm sorry you feel that way, and we understand if you can't make it."

2) Your goddaughter should most definitely stay for the reception. She's in the WP, so it would be rude not to have her there. If people freak out, again, they're the rude ones. WP members and immediate family (like nieces/nephews/your own kids) get a "pass" from the "adult only" rule. If you don't want any kids at the reception, period, then they shouldn't be in the WP.

I hope that helps.

JellyBean52513

alyssalovesriann said:

Hi! My fiance and I decided that we would like to have a adult reception. We have several issues though, we have already printed our invitations so we can't add anything to them. Next, my goddaughter is in the wedding as the flower girl, should she be allowed to stay at the reception? Also, is it appropriate to put in a little card in along with the invitation to state that we are having an adult reception?  What is appropriate wording to use to state that we are having a adult reception without being bold and forward about it? Please help!!

You don't need to add anything to your invitations, it's the envelope you need to worry about. In order to make it clear, in a polite way, that children aren't invited is to address the invite to the adults only. Example: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." If they RSVP for their child, simply call them and say "I apologize for any confusion, but the invitation was only for Mr. and Mrs., unfortunately we wont be able to accommodate Little Smith." If they give you a hard time, call their bluff and say "I hope you'll still be able to attend, but I understand if you can't and you will be missed."

As for your flower girl, limited the children present to wedding party members is ok to do. Nobody will really make a stink about her being the only child; she's IN the wedding, after all. Also, please don't kick her out of the reception, she should be able to attend all parts of the wedding especially since she's a member of the wedding party.

Finally, it's not appropriate to put a little card or any other indicator that specifies "Adults only." It's rude to say who is not invited, plus it assumes ignorance on behalf of the adults that you inviting by name. If anyone actually IS ignorant and tries to add their kid(s), now you know how to handle it graciously.