Wedding Etiquette Forum

Getting a Deposit Back?

2

Re: Getting a Deposit Back?

  • And thanks to each one of you, especially Dragon blood - I love to think of where I possibly was an ass. Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out. 

    I will be more careful next time - that's for sure. Thank the Lord I am almost through hiring vendors!!
  • I'm sorry.  My bad.  Libel.


    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    And thanks to each one of you, especially Dragon blood - I love to think of where I possibly was an ass. Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out. 

    I will be more careful next time - that's for sure. Thank the Lord I am almost through hiring vendors!!
    What? I thought you eloped?
    Call me confused as well.

    melbelleupHisGirlFriday13cowgirl8238
  • Elope-ish. 

    Taking the family to a Tennessee Smoky Mountain Cabin  (we are in Michigan) for the weekend and will be married at the cabin. 

    We hired an officiant, caterer, baker, flowers, alterations, hair, make-up, etc.
  • KatWAG said:

    I dont understand why you would write him a bad review. I think its perfectly normal for a vendor to call several times while trying to secure a client. It also sounds like he was over accommodating by allowing you to split up your deposit. The wedding you were originally planning isnt until October. So if it were me, I wouldnt plan to talk to him again until late August at the earliest.

    It seems like you are getting really worked up over $100. You made the adult decison to elope. Your decision had consequences, like loosing your deposit.

    He was the one who proposed this. NOT ME. I would have not hired him had he not sweet talked me a million times a day. But to never ever hear from him ever again after he tells me, "I will send you this, that, and the other" is unacceptable. He went from best guy ever to the invisible man. 
  • Oh. Um. a couple of my most favorite snarky words. 

    wow. 
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    KatWAG said:

    I dont understand why you would write him a bad review. I think its perfectly normal for a vendor to call several times while trying to secure a client. It also sounds like he was over accommodating by allowing you to split up your deposit. The wedding you were originally planning isnt until October. So if it were me, I wouldnt plan to talk to him again until late August at the earliest.

    It seems like you are getting really worked up over $100. You made the adult decison to elope. Your decision had consequences, like loosing your deposit.

    He was the one who proposed this. NOT ME. I would have not hired him had he not sweet talked me a million times a day. But to never ever hear from him ever again after he tells me, "I will send you this, that, and the other" is unacceptable. He went from best guy ever to the invisible man. 

    Yes, he proposed that to be accommodating to you the client. And I still dont understand what you need to talk to him about a full year before your wedding? I realize that he should have acknowledged your payment with an email or recepit, but that is really minor. I just dont get why you are so worked up.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    melbelleupMaggie0829


  • Yes, he proposed that to be accommodating to you the client. And I still dont understand what you need to talk to him about a full year before your wedding? I realize that he should have acknowledged your payment with an email or recepit, but that is really minor. I just dont get why you are so worked up.
    I am worked up because I made a mistake and folded by hiring him simply because this was my very first vendor experience. He was super nice. Over-accommodating. That is why I agreed. I had zero business securing a DJ that far in advance. Lesson learned. However, we saw him at a bridal show, and talked to him for 20+ minutes. We both really liked him.

    He called and called and emailed me after that. I told him I wasn't ready to put that much money down. He proposed the arrangement, and told me he would send me receipts each time he received a payment.

    He sent me a contract with all of the payment dates listed in October last year. It was not signed by him. I called him and said, "I am mailing you the first payment, please send me a copy of the contract with your signature and a receipt." 

    I never heard from him again. Ever. Never. Not since I mailed him a $100 money order. So I needed to hear from him before sending more money - of course! Would you keep sending hundreds of dollars to someone who is ignoring a simple email?

    I sent him an email stating I do not need his services any longer because we made the decision to elope this January. Still haven't heard a thing. 

    If the money is gone, fine. He still needs to acknowledge me - otherwise I will end up being liable for paying for the entire service? As a businessman, he needs to wrap up this transaction. There is a contract and it needs to be taken care of. 
    .  


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    KatWAG said:
    KatWAG said:

    I dont understand why you would write him a bad review. I think its perfectly normal for a vendor to call several times while trying to secure a client. It also sounds like he was over accommodating by allowing you to split up your deposit. The wedding you were originally planning isnt until October. So if it were me, I wouldnt plan to talk to him again until late August at the earliest.

    It seems like you are getting really worked up over $100. You made the adult decison to elope. Your decision had consequences, like loosing your deposit.

    He was the one who proposed this. NOT ME. I would have not hired him had he not sweet talked me a million times a day. But to never ever hear from him ever again after he tells me, "I will send you this, that, and the other" is unacceptable. He went from best guy ever to the invisible man. 

    Yes, he proposed that to be accommodating to you the client. And I still dont understand what you need to talk to him about a full year before your wedding? I realize that he should have acknowledged your payment with an email or recepit, but that is really minor. I just dont get why you are so worked up.
    This.  The fact that it had been cashed would have been receipt enough for me.

    schellzinator
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers


    Yes, he proposed that to be accommodating to you the client. And I still dont understand what you need to talk to him about a full year before your wedding? I realize that he should have acknowledged your payment with an email or recepit, but that is really minor. I just dont get why you are so worked up.
    I am worked up because I made a mistake and folded by hiring him simply because this was my very first vendor experience. He was super nice. Over-accommodating. That is why I agreed. I had zero business securing a DJ that far in advance. Lesson learned. However, we saw him at a bridal show, and talked to him for 20+ minutes. We both really liked him.

    He called and called and emailed me after that. I told him I wasn't ready to put that much money down. He proposed the arrangement, and told me he would send me receipts each time he received a payment.

    He sent me a contract with all of the payment dates listed in October last year. It was not signed by him. I called him and said, "I am mailing you the first payment, please send me a copy of the contract with your signature and a receipt." 

    I never heard from him again. Ever. Never. Not since I mailed him a $100 money order. So I needed to hear from him before sending more money - of course! Would you keep sending hundreds of dollars to someone who is ignoring a simple email?

    I sent him an email stating I do not need his services any longer because we made the decision to elope this January. Still haven't heard a thing. 

    If the money is gone, fine. He still needs to acknowledge me - otherwise I will end up being liable for paying for the entire service? As a businessman, he needs to wrap up this transaction. There is a contract and it needs to be taken care of. 
    .  


    Right. I get it. You have explained your side several times. I think its time to Let. It. Go.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    sofakingmadHisGirlFriday13schellzinatorKittyKaty20
  • I feel like you are all right. I'm not entitled, it won't hurt to ask, I have already kissed it goodbye - but I at the very least have to give it a shot. 

    Would I be wrong to give him a bad review somewhere? I found him at a bridal show. A super fancy snobby one at that. 

    I won't be inflammatory, just truthful.
    Besides not getting back to you, what did he do wrong?  

    I guess you can write a review about him not responding, but you didn't use his services, so you should be very clear about that in the review.  Also, he kind of did you a favor by allowing you to make deposits on the deposit, even though the date wasn't set regardless.

    I dunno.  I feel like you as a consumer didn't really do your part.  You didn't give the full amount to hold the date and you changed your plans completely and cancelled on him.  


    I agree.  I wouldn't leave a bad review personally.  You never paid the full deposit, therefore you never actually booked the vendor, and you never used his services.  I would ask once if I could get the money back, and then let it go.  Is the deposit isn't refundable, there's really no reason for the vendor to respond at this point.  

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • You keep saying you e-mailed and e-mailed and e-mailed? Did you ever call him? 

    I'm really thinking this guy did nothing wrong. You're actually lucky your contract doesn't say you owe more than the deposit. In some cases depending on how far out you are - you owe a % of what the services would have cost. 

    I say just move on.
  • It has been a long time since I used money orders but I seem to remember that there is a receipt portion/stub/copy that you keep. So why would you need an additional receipt from the vendor. You said it was cashed and vendor never called saying he did not receive it. So don't you already have a receipt? 

    Also agree w/pp who said to pick up the phone and call vendor. Enough with the emails! Also be careful about your demands for refund. Vendor could turn around and sue you for $200 balance of deposit. 



  • Right. I get it. You have explained your side several times. I think its time to Let. It. Go.
    You said: I don't get why you are so worked up. So no, you did not make it clear that you indeed did, "Right. I get it."  

    I figured I didn't explain correctly? 

    I have let it go. 

    Basically, if he hadn't proposed what he did - I wouldn't have hired him that day UNTIL I had the ENTIRE deposit. This is my whole point. 

    I guess that when a vendor says they will do something and then they do not - it freaks me out. Especially when so much money is involved. 

    Would you keep sending money to a vendor whose contract you yourself signed, but he would not return the contract to you with his signature as well? I don't have a contract signed that he agreed to. It doesn't exist. So I don't understand what anyone else wouldn't have expected an answer & a contract? You would send someone money without a contract signed by a vendor? 

    Also be careful about your demands for refund. Vendor could turn around and sue you for $200 balance of deposit. 

    Exactly. Which is why I wanted a copy of the contract with his signature. 

    And - I did call him, I left him messages. And emails. 

    I speak to all my vendors on the phone. 

    Thank you for all of the advice I will hold to in the future however. And thanks for everyone's time. I truly do appreciate it. :)

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014



    Right. I get it. You have explained your side several times. I think its time to Let. It. Go.
    You said: I don't get why you are so worked up. So no, you did not make it clear that you indeed did, "Right. I get it."  

    I figured I didn't explain correctly? 

    I have let it go. 

    Basically, if he hadn't proposed what he did - I wouldn't have hired him that day UNTIL I had the ENTIRE deposit. This is my whole point. 

    I guess that when a vendor says they will do something and then they do not - it freaks me out. Especially when so much money is involved. 

    Would you keep sending money to a vendor whose contract you yourself signed, but he would not return the contract to you with his signature as well? I don't have a contract signed that he agreed to. It doesn't exist. So I don't understand what anyone else wouldn't have expected an answer & a contract? You would send someone money without a contract signed by a vendor? 

    Also be careful about your demands for refund. Vendor could turn around and sue you for $200 balance of deposit. 

    Exactly. Which is why I wanted a copy of the contract with his signature. 

    And - I did call him, I left him messages. And emails. 

    I speak to all my vendors on the phone. 

    Thank you for all of the advice I will hold to in the future however. And thanks for everyone's time. I truly do appreciate it. :)



    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I do have to say that I think you won't get your money back, but while I generally agree with the regulars, I am not sure I do this time. I would have expected a professional to respond with the signed contract and the receipt if he said he would. It would make me nervous if I never got either of those back and I would be hesitant to send more money if I hadn't heard back. I just sent a check for a vacation rental (to a reputable guy I know) and he is a professional so I had a digital receipt within a day of him receiving it in the mail.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    huskypuppy14
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Did you ever think that he didn't send the signed contract back with his signature because you hadn't actually booked him yet?  Typically a vendor is booked once the entire deposit is paid  which means the vendor and the date are being held for your wedding.  You didn't pay the entire deposit so why would he sign a contract with you to book your date if in fact you actually hadn't fully booked the date?  He may have been waiting to send the signed contract back once you finished paying off the deposit.  If he had signed the contract before you paid off the deposit to hold the date then he would not have been able to book any other brides and risked you backing out just like you did.  Unless the contract that he was supposed to send back only spoke to the fact that he was allowing you to pay incremental amounts for the deposit and that the date would not be held until the deposit was paid in full, then having a full fledged contract signed for services that you really hadn't even fully booked yet is just not smart business.

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Did you ever think that he didn't send the signed contract back with his signature because you hadn't actually booked him yet?  Typically a vendor is booked once the entire deposit is paid  which means the vendor and the date are being held for your wedding.  You didn't pay the entire deposit so why would he sign a contract with you to book your date if in fact you actually hadn't fully booked the date?  He may have been waiting to send the signed contract back once you finished paying off the deposit.  If he had signed the contract before you paid off the deposit to hold the date then he would not have been able to book any other brides and risked you backing out just like you did.  Unless the contract that he was supposed to send back only spoke to the fact that he was allowing you to pay incremental amounts for the deposit and that the date would not be held until the deposit was paid in full, then having a full fledged contract signed for services that you really hadn't even fully booked yet is just not smart business.
    C/P of OP from a post above:

    He called and called and emailed me after that. I told him I wasn't ready to put that much money down. He proposed the arrangement, and told me he would send me receipts each time he received a payment.

    He sent me a contract with all of the payment dates listed in October last year. It was not signed by him. I called him and said, "I am mailing you the first payment, please send me a copy of the contract with your signature and a receipt." 


    ----------------------

    The bolded tells me the contract has the payment dates, so that could be signed before he was fully paid.  But I did not realize that this was an issue from October, which is way old. If she hasn't finished paying him, I wouldn't expect any response. I thought this was more recent. Guess I should have read more carefully.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Did you ever think that he didn't send the signed contract back with his signature because you hadn't actually booked him yet?  Typically a vendor is booked once the entire deposit is paid  which means the vendor and the date are being held for your wedding.  You didn't pay the entire deposit so why would he sign a contract with you to book your date if in fact you actually hadn't fully booked the date?  He may have been waiting to send the signed contract back once you finished paying off the deposit.  If he had signed the contract before you paid off the deposit to hold the date then he would not have been able to book any other brides and risked you backing out just like you did.  Unless the contract that he was supposed to send back only spoke to the fact that he was allowing you to pay incremental amounts for the deposit and that the date would not be held until the deposit was paid in full, then having a full fledged contract signed for services that you really hadn't even fully booked yet is just not smart business.
    C/P of OP from a post above:

    He called and called and emailed me after that. I told him I wasn't ready to put that much money down. He proposed the arrangement, and told me he would send me receipts each time he received a payment.

    He sent me a contract with all of the payment dates listed in October last year. It was not signed by him. I called him and said, "I am mailing you the first payment, please send me a copy of the contract with your signature and a receipt." 


    ----------------------

    The bolded tells me the contract has the payment dates, so that could be signed before he was fully paid.  But I did not realize that this was an issue from October, which is way old. If she hasn't finished paying him, I wouldn't expect any response. I thought this was more recent. Guess I should have read more carefully.
    Thanks for this.  Must have missed it as I was reading through.  To me it seems that he wouldn't sign the contract until all the payments had been made which at that point meant that he and the wedding were officially booked.  I just don't think signing something unless you are officially booking the date (which in the case all three payments needed to be made before the date was booked) is smart.

    But I agree that since this was back in October and she only made one payment and made no further payments he probably moved on.

  • I'm sure we can all agree that since the contract had payment dates and the agreement WAS in fact included in the contract, that I am no mind reader about him not signing until the full $300 was paid. 

    In all of my efforts of communicating with him, and he not answering, why am I being flamed so hard?

    Also super ironic: after posting about this, I get a call from him today. He says the payment is forfeited and he can send me a copy of the email I sent him in JANUARY saying I didn't need his services anymore. There were questions I posed to him in the email he never answered or bothered to respond to.

    Why not just respond to that email, and say "no refund" and rest my mind as well? 

    So, case closed! I'm over it, I won't write a bad review . . . but I really can't believe that every single respondent thinks I shouldn't be upset about his lack of communication. 
  • I don't think he had to send you a signed contract until you paid the full deposit.  But he could have at least emailed you back and said that when you asked for it. I'll agree with you there.

    jhawkins313

  • I'm sure we can all agree that since the contract had payment dates and the agreement WAS in fact included in the contract, that I am no mind reader about him not signing until the full $300 was paid. 

    In all of my efforts of communicating with him, and he not answering, why am I being flamed so hard?

    Also super ironic: after posting about this, I get a call from him today. He says the payment is forfeited and he can send me a copy of the email I sent him in JANUARY saying I didn't need his services anymore. There were questions I posed to him in the email he never answered or bothered to respond to.

    Why not just respond to that email, and say "no refund" and rest my mind as well? 

    So, case closed! I'm over it, I won't write a bad review . . . but I really can't believe that every single respondent thinks I shouldn't be upset about his lack of communication. 
    Well, to be honest, I think he has more right to be upset than you do. His normal deposit is $300, you paid $100. Then 3 months later you cancelled. Then you asked for that $100 back. I understand that he proposed the arrangement of paying the deposit over 3 months, but the fact remains that you paid just $100 of a non-refundable deposit. Sure, I can't blame you for trying, but I don't think you should have kept pursuing it or been so worried about the lack of communication, particularly after you informed him that you wouldn't be using his services. I personally would have let it go when I cancelled and didn't receive a response to my email informing him of the cancellation.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image
    KeptInStitches
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014



    Right. I get it. You have explained your side several times. I think its time to Let. It. Go.
    You said: I don't get why you are so worked up. So no, you did not make it clear that you indeed did, "Right. I get it."  

    I figured I didn't explain correctly? 

    I have let it go. 

    Basically, if he hadn't proposed what he did - I wouldn't have hired him that day UNTIL I had the ENTIRE deposit. This is my whole point. 

    I guess that when a vendor says they will do something and then they do not - it freaks me out. Especially when so much money is involved. 

    Would you keep sending money to a vendor whose contract you yourself signed, but he would not return the contract to you with his signature as well? I don't have a contract signed that he agreed to. It doesn't exist. So I don't understand what anyone else wouldn't have expected an answer & a contract? You would send someone money without a contract signed by a vendor? 

    Also be careful about your demands for refund. Vendor could turn around and sue you for $200 balance of deposit. 

    Exactly. Which is why I wanted a copy of the contract with his signature. 

    And - I did call him, I left him messages. And emails. 

    I speak to all my vendors on the phone. 

    Thank you for all of the advice I will hold to in the future however. And thanks for everyone's time. I truly do appreciate it. :)



    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I do have to say that I think you won't get your money back, but while I generally agree with the regulars, I am not sure I do this time. I would have expected a professional to respond with the signed contract and the receipt if he said he would. It would make me nervous if I never got either of those back and I would be hesitant to send more money if I hadn't heard back. I just sent a check for a vacation rental (to a reputable guy I know) and he is a professional so I had a digital receipt within a day of him receiving it in the mail.









    Quoting myself just in case you missed it. I did agree with you. There were a lot of posts that didn't, but this is a public forum and not everyone has to agree all of the time. 

    ETA: damn quote boxes. I wrote the highlighted only. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    To be honest, if he didn't even book the date, why does he get to keep the deposit? It's not probably worth the OP's time for 100 dollars in my opinion, but I don't think this DJ is that professional from what the OP has said.

    I only paid 100 dollars for my DJ deposit. That's it, so I don't see why he needs 300 (how much was the total price?). Also, the fact that he pursued her, it sounds kind of shady.
    image
    image

    image


    jhawkins313
  • thank you for agreeing as well. 

    I am well aware of public forums and how they work. This certainly ain't my first rodeo - but it is my first with a wedding board, and a mostly female composition. 

    I never insisted that everyone agree all the time, I merely stated that I couldn't believe no one agreed. 

    I was incorrect, you and one other did in fact agree - for that oversight I apologize. 

    But I do know one very important rule about public forums, you better get your shit straight and that shit better be right, because someone will come along and pick out one word you screwed yourself on. And your ass will be  roasted like a marshmallow over the first bonfire of the season, baby!

    Point taken, thanks again for your agreement! 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    laurynm84 said:
    To be honest, if he didn't even book the date, why does he get to keep the deposit? It's not probably worth the OP's time for 100 dollars in my opinion, but I don't think this DJ is that professional from what the OP has said.

    I only paid 100 dollars for my DJ deposit. That's it, so I don't see why he needs 300 (how much was the total price?). Also, the fact that he pursued her, it sounds kind of shady.
    Because the $100 was part of the non-refundable deposit.  And every vendor has a different amount that they request for a deposit so him asking for $300 shouldn't matter.

  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Considering the deposit for our cake is $100, the deposit for our DJ (who will cost twice as much as the cake) was $200, and the deposite for our photographer (who will cost twice as much as the DJ) was $300, I'm really not too confused by the $300 deposit.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards