Cash Registries

Sherflores

My fiance and I have lived together for 6 years now and we have an established household. On top of that are apartment is very small and have limited amounts of space. We are paying for a 50k New York wedding completely out of pocket with no help from family or friends. I will have ONE registry with several different items listed ( we understand that people like buying gifts but want to steer them away from it) but is really that rude/tacky/taboo to include a cash registry? 

Maggie0829

Sherflores said:

My fiance and I have lived together for 6 years now and we have an established household. On top of that are apartment is very small and have limited amounts of space. We are paying for a 50k New York wedding completely out of pocket with no help from family or friends. I will have ONE registry with several different items listed ( we understand that people like buying gifts but want to steer them away from it) but is really that rude/tacky/taboo to include a cash registry? 

YES!  Asking for cash in anyway is rude.  Period.  It does not matter that you are paying for your own wedding and it does not matter how much your wedding costs.  The majority of people already know that cash is a good and wanted gift so they don't need you to tell them that.

QueerFemme

yes.  it's tacky and rude.  Don't do it.  Just register for a few small things. People will likely get the hint and give you cash anyway.

MNVegas

Of course asking for cash is rude! Asking people to give you cash is insulting to your guest. Do you think they don't already know cash is a great gift? 

BTW, it is not other people's responsibility to contribute to your wedding. It is your choice to have a $50K wedding and your responsibility to pay for it. 

MobKaz

Sherflores said:

My fiance and I have lived together for 6 years now and we have an established household. On top of that are apartment is very small and have limited amounts of space. We are paying for a 50k New York wedding completely out of pocket with no help from family or friends. I will have ONE registry with several different items listed ( we understand that people like buying gifts but want to steer them away from it) but is really that rude/tacky/taboo to include a cash registry? 

110% rude/tacky/taboo.  

chibiyui

Think for a moment here. If you were going to a friends wedding , and their registry was small or bought out, what would you do? Give them nothing?

Probably not. 

People know cash is a good gift. Especially people who live in NYC.

manateehugger

Let's put this question in another context. 

You: Hey, Friend, what do you want for your birthday?

Friend: Well, I don't have much use for physical gifts, so just hand me the cash you were planning to spend on a gift. That would be great!

Sounds rude and ridiculous right?

Simply Fated

Sherflores said:

My fiance and I have lived together for 6 years now and we have an established household. On top of that are apartment is very small and have limited amounts of space. We are paying for a 50k New York wedding completely out of pocket with no help from family or friends. I will have ONE registry with several different items listed ( we understand that people like buying gifts but want to steer them away from it) but is really that rude/tacky/taboo to include a cash registry? 

Cash registries suck, even if they weren't rude. The website takes a cut of the money. For reals. So when a guest goes to give you $100, they're really only giving you, like, $95, depending on how much percentage the website takes.
If a guest wants to give you money, they will. Neither you nor the guest needs that shitty middleman.

Jells2dot0

This is a very popular question and the responses are always the same. This question gets asked at least one a week. For OP andall lurkers, please use the search tool at the bottom of the page.

 

 

Sherflores

I'm so so tempted to respond to the nasty females who commented with my usual spitfire attitude....but I won't. If you didn't like the question you should have moved on and not wasted your time responding.
But thank you to those who gave a decent answer. Much appreciated !

chibiyui

Sherflores said:

I'm so so tempted to respond to the nasty females who commented with my usual spitfire attitude....but I won't. If you didn't like the question you should have moved on and not wasted your time responding.
But thank you to those who gave a decent answer. Much appreciated !

There were no nasty responses on this thread.

manateehugger

Sherflores said:

I'm so so tempted to respond to the nasty females who commented with my usual spitfire attitude....but I won't. If you didn't like the question you should have moved on and not wasted your time responding.
But thank you to those who gave a decent answer. Much appreciated !

Seriously? You asked (a very very very common) question about cash registries and everyone gave you an answer. Can I ask who was a "nasty female"?

Sherflores

Oh I see my question bothered the " regulars" cause it's a " very common question". I'm not on here enough to know that and the answers I did find didn't exactly match my exact circumstance so I posted.My TOTAL apologies. As far as who I thought gave a nasty response it doesn't really matter at the end of the day does it?

thisismynickname2

Whoa.

OP, I see you're new. Getting advice from regulars can be a tad jarring at first (it was for me when I asked about something that was indeed a faux pas), but stick around, because this is where to find the best advice.  Don't take anything personally.

And by the way, saying something about your spitfire attitude is just as nasty as apparently using your spitfire attitude.  Just post questions, see the responses, internalize the feedback, move on with life. 

manateehugger

Sherflores said:

Oh I see my question bothered the " regulars" cause it's a " very common question". I'm not on here enough to know that and the answers I did find didn't exactly match my exact circumstance so I posted.My TOTAL apologies. As far as who I thought gave a nasty response it doesn't really matter at the end of the day does it?

Good Lord, go have a drink or a nap.

Look, the suggestion to do a search for your question before posting is actually great advice. You get opinions on your questions, but you don't have to deal with anyone.

Jells2dot0

Sherflores said:

Oh I see my question bothered the " regulars" cause it's a " very common question". I'm not on here enough to know that and the answers I did find didn't exactly match my exact circumstance so I posted.My TOTAL apologies. As far as who I thought gave a nasty response it doesn't really matter at the end of the day does it?

Ah, she must be referring to me. I actually posted that as a favor to YOU. There is A LOT of controversy over this question and it always turns into a thread that is several pages long. You'll see ten responses saying it's rude, then someone will post and tell you to do what you want, and then everyone posts again reiterating it's rude. All I was saying that is you should do a search because you'll see this question asked in some form regularly (and your circumstances of living together and having a larger wedding are also VERY common) and the answers are always the same.

To summarize, no matter what circumstance you are in, it is always rude to ask for cash.

jneen101

What is a cash registry?  Do you actually register for specific amounts of cash or specific bills?  Like "wants 100 fifty dollar bills"?  Can someone link me to a cash registry?

erinlin25

OP, no one was rude. You asked a question, people gave you an honest answer. Just because you did not like said answer does not make them rude.

Most people will give you cash anyway; you did right by making a small registry. You then get what you get and you don't get upset.

Simply Fated

jneen101 said:

What is a cash registry?  Do you actually register for specific amounts of cash or specific bills?  Like "wants 100 fifty dollar bills"?  Can someone link me to a cash registry?

My cellphone is being annoying and not letting me link properly. But a few are..
myregistry.com
uponourstar.com
ourwishingwell.com
depositagift.com
Basically, you (the bride/groom) do not register for specific bills. Just overall cash. Guests put in their credit card info.

CMGragain

How about www.greedycouple.com?

AddieCake

Your question bothered the regulars because we can't understand how there are people out there thinking it's ok to straight up ask people for cash as a gift.

jneen101

Simply Fated said:

What is a cash registry?  Do you actually register for specific amounts of cash or specific bills?  Like "wants 100 fifty dollar bills"?  Can someone link me to a cash registry?

My cellphone is being annoying and not letting me link properly. But a few are.. myregistry.com uponourstar.com ourwishingwell.com depositagift.com Basically, you (the bride/groom) do not register for specific bills. Just overall cash. Guests put in their credit card info.

So do you pick an amount, like 20 grand, and register for that?  Or is is basically "we want any amount of money you can give"?  I just don't see how you can even register for cash unless you are picking out specific cash amounts.  Like "We would like some 50 dollar bills and some twenty dollar bills and some hundred dollar bills." Just like on a registry it would show things like "we would like a blender and a toaster and some sheets."   Otherwise how it is a registry?

Sherflores

I believe you register for things like " our first home". No one's obviously going to buy you your first home so they can contribute a certain amount instead....or at least that's  how I thought it works, not asking for specific amounts of money
Regardless, I'm just going to just keep my small registry.It's a smaller wedding all our friends and family understand we have an established household and know we don't need a lot of gifts

Simply Fated

jneen101 said:

Simply Fated said:

jneen101 said:

What is a cash registry?  Do you actually register for specific amounts of cash or specific bills?  Like "wants 100 fifty dollar bills"?  Can someone link me to a cash registry?

My cellphone is being annoying and not letting me link properly. But a few are..
myregistry.com
uponourstar.com
ourwishingwell.com
depositagift.com
Basically, you (the bride/groom) do not register for specific bills. Just overall cash. Guests put in their credit card info.

So do you pick an amount, like 20 grand, and register for that?  Or is is basically "we want any amount of money you can give"?  I just don't see how you can even register for cash unless you are picking out specific cash amounts.  Like "We would like some 50 dollar bills and some twenty dollar bills and some hundred dollar bills." Just like on a registry it would show things like "we would like a blender and a toaster and some sheets."   Otherwise how it is a registry?


It's basically any amount you can give.

There are some registries that make it LOOK like guests are buying specific items, like blenders, but then just cut the couple a check. Some cash registries ask for help with their mortgage, HM, etc.

But cash registries don't always use smokescreens. Sometimes it literally just asks for money straight up. myregistry.com requires a set goal. Guest can help reach the goal or BETTER YET, exceed the goal. uponourstar.com requires a "wish" that the guests can help the couple achieve.

They all seem different, but in the end they all work the same. The guest enters their credit card info and the couple gets the cash. The site takes a cut.

lyndausvi

I would be so embarrassed to do registry for such a thing.   

MyNameIsNot

jneen101 said:

Simply Fated said:

What is a cash registry?  Do you actually register for specific amounts of cash or specific bills?  Like "wants 100 fifty dollar bills"?  Can someone link me to a cash registry?

My cellphone is being annoying and not letting me link properly. But a few are.. myregistry.com uponourstar.com ourwishingwell.com depositagift.com Basically, you (the bride/groom) do not register for specific bills. Just overall cash. Guests put in their credit card info.

So do you pick an amount, like 20 grand, and register for that?  Or is is basically "we want any amount of money you can give"?  I just don't see how you can even register for cash unless you are picking out specific cash amounts.  Like "We would like some 50 dollar bills and some twenty dollar bills and some hundred dollar bills." Just like on a registry it would show things like "we would like a blender and a toaster and some sheets."   Otherwise how it is a registry?

You don't register for a specific amount.  You just say you want money, or money toward some goal, like a house or a honeymoon.  The worst offenders lie to the guests and tell them that they are buying something instead of just gifting money. 

The point is so that some company can take a cut of gifts from couples who are stupid enough to fall for it.  They sell it as a "convenience" to guests, because apparently putting a check in a card is infinitely more inconvenient than giving your credit card info to some shady company you've never heard of.  Sometimes they turn over some of the money to the couple; sometimes it's a scam.  Either way, it's rude as hell.

lyndausvi

MyNameIsNot said:

jneen101 said:

Simply Fated said:

What is a cash registry?  Do you actually register for specific amounts of cash or specific bills?  Like "wants 100 fifty dollar bills"?  Can someone link me to a cash registry?

My cellphone is being annoying and not letting me link properly. But a few are.. myregistry.com uponourstar.com ourwishingwell.com depositagift.com Basically, you (the bride/groom) do not register for specific bills. Just overall cash. Guests put in their credit card info.

So do you pick an amount, like 20 grand, and register for that?  Or is is basically "we want any amount of money you can give"?  I just don't see how you can even register for cash unless you are picking out specific cash amounts.  Like "We would like some 50 dollar bills and some twenty dollar bills and some hundred dollar bills." Just like on a registry it would show things like "we would like a blender and a toaster and some sheets."   Otherwise how it is a registry?

You don't register for a specific amount.  You just say you want money, or money toward some goal, like a house or a honeymoon.  The worst offenders lie to the guests and tell them that they are buying something instead of just gifting money. 

The point is so that some company can take a cut of gifts from couples who are stupid enough to fall for it.  They sell it as a "convenience" to guests, because apparently putting a check in a card is infinitely more inconvenient than giving your credit card info to some shady company you've never heard of.  Sometimes they turn over some of the money to the couple; sometimes it's a scam.  Either way, it's rude as hell.

I don't know about you, but I find putting cash or a check in a card to be quite exhausting.

jneen101

Okay thanks everyone just wanted to make sure it was literally just saying "we want money" holy fucking shit that is so dumb and ugly.

RebeccaB88

See, the thing is, it doesn't matter how much you're paying for your wedding. $50 or $50,000, doesn't matter, it's still rude to ask people for money. It's rude whether you're having a wedding or not. It's rude under any circumstances. It's your choice to spend $50 grand on a wedding, when you could have gone to the courthouse on your lunch hour and done it, or invited your parents to a small ceremony in your apartment, or eloped, or any of the other ways someone can get married. The fact that you chose this way to get married means nothing when it comes to gifts. Trust me, you'll get cash without having to mention it to anyone, and then your manners are perfectly fine.