I'm super judgmental of all wedding invitations that come now..

Sugargirl1019

Just received a friend's invitation! It has a very unique shape and layout and has her pictures all over it. But I found it really really strange that the return address on the envelope and RSVP was the grooms parents, and the people hosting the wedding on the invite are the brides parents. So who's really hosting?

Also, they only have their first names on the invite. It's a good thing I know you guys.

"Mr and Mrs request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jane to Jack."

Hm okay. Super casual. The invite is super casual. But the ceremony time is 6 pm. On memorial day. A Monday holiday. AT NIGHT? Why would you do that to your guests? We have to drive 3 hours to attend this ceremony. I told FI, so what hotel are we staying at? And have you asked off for work? He replied "what? Ask off work? I can't do that." Well you're gonna have to because the reception will end around 10 or 11. Unless you want to not drink at all and drive back in the middle of the night so you can be at work at 7 am on Tuesday.

FI is very very grumpy. And I don't know what to wear. And I don't understand their thoughts behind choosing a holiday weekend and not making it convenient for guests.

Also, their wedding website has like, no info on it and still says "Tell your guests about your ceremony here" all over it. Shameful. If you're going to post your website to your guests, FILL IT OUT!

/end snark rant. Cuz I'm a bitch.

whitjoy

I'm a bitch about invites now too. Got one that was BYOB

Sugargirl1019

whitjoy said:

I'm a bitch about invites now too. Got one that was BYOB

Gross.

Chipmunk415

Ugh, that's irritating. My brother had an evening wedding last year over memorial day weekend- luckily it was Sunday, not Monday.

BIL and FSIL sent one of those preprinted (yet customized names) poem card to DH asking him to be a groomsman. At the end there's a PS offering a "bribe" of an open bar. Evil Chipmunk is under orders to keep her mouth shut firmly during their wedding, but she will be posting snarkily here if they make a promise and then don't deliver.

zitiqueen

Sugargirl1019 said:

Just received a friend's invitation! It has a very unique shape and layout and has her pictures all over it. But I found it really really strange that the return address on the envelope and RSVP was the grooms parents, and the people hosting the wedding on the invite are the brides parents. So who's really hosting? Also, they only have their first names on the invite. It's a good thing I know you guys. "Mr and Mrs request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jane to Jack." Hm okay. Super casual. The invite is super casual. But the ceremony time is 6 pm. On memorial day. A Monday holiday. AT NIGHT? Why would you do that to your guests? We have to drive 3 hours to attend this ceremony. I told FI, so what hotel are we staying at? And have you asked off for work? He replied "what? Ask off work? I can't do that." Well you're gonna have to because the reception will end around 10 or 11. Unless you want to not drink at all and drive back in the middle of the night so you can be at work at 7 am on Tuesday. FI is very very grumpy. And I don't know what to wear. And I don't understand their thoughts behind choosing a holiday weekend and not making it convenient for guests. Also, their wedding website has like, no info on it and still says "Tell your guests about your ceremony here" all over it. Shameful. If you're going to post your website to your guests, FILL IT OUT! /end snark rant. Cuz I'm a bitch.

Whay would you even go to this?

Sugargirl1019

Chipmunk415 said:

Ugh, that's irritating. My brother had an evening wedding last year over memorial day weekend- luckily it was Sunday, not Monday.

BIL and FSIL sent one of those preprinted (yet customized names) poem card to DH asking him to be a groomsman. At the end there's a PS offering a "bribe" of an open bar. Evil Chipmunk is under orders to keep her mouth shut firmly during their wedding, but she will be posting snarkily here if they make a promise and then don't deliver.

Oh gosh. If they mention an open bar, they better have it! Don't say anything about how much liquor you might be offering if you can't offer any.

Cookie Pusher

FI and I are invited to a black tie wedding on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. As almost everyone has to travel for it, that works out really well for the guests. The B&G are also going to host a pig roast the next afternoon for anyone who wants to stick around (they throw epic parties). Our wedding is the Saturday of July 4th weekend. I can't imagine choosing the last day of a long weekend to inconvenience all the guests, but maybe it was the only day they could get?

Sugargirl1019

We are going because.. /sigh ..FI is friends with the girls older brother and they were all really close in church growing up. They are a very very close church family (if you remember my FMIL invited like the whole church that she no longer attends in a different city to our wedding) and it would be ghastly and start rumors about us if we didn't. You know those "we have to attend everyone else's event or else" groups? Oh you don't? Lucky you.

thisismynickname2

Snark away!

I accidentally did this for my Save the Dates--- only our first names are on it. I used an online template and even though I, my FI and my mom and I all looked at them, none of us realized until after they were printed.  Whoops!!  But a nice normal engagement photo is on it too, so people sure as hell better recognize us, even relatives who haven't seen us in a million years, lol. 

And I sympathize with the hosting thing.  I haven't created my invites yet, but there's no real "host" of the event. FI's parents, my parents, my bank account and FI's bank account are all contributing towards this event.  If anything, since FI's parents are contributing the most, I suppose they're the hosts.  I'm hoping to have a "together with their families" type of wording, honestly. And they'll come from my return address because I'm writing them all.  Sigh. 

thisismynickname2

Oh and when I snark on invites, it's for things like, "Two Hearts Become One" or "Today Is The Day I Marry My Best Friend" gag-worthy crap.  Totally not my style. You'd better be marrying your best friend or you're going to have a cruddy marriage, IMHO. Snark snark snark. 

jules3964

Yeah, I can't help but judge invitations we get now. FI thinks I'm the etiquette police, haha.

The latest one:

- FI received invitation from co-worker; no envelope, so no names were addressed --  I *think* I'm invited too...?

- Wedding is in 5 months; they want an RSVP in 2 months. Evidently they are waiting for the RSVP headcount before they book the caterer. (Do people really do this??)

- The reply card is part of the folded invite... no perforation, not postcard sized, not addressed... I guess we cut it off and FI will hand-deliver it. 

mcgarci2

jules3964 said:

Yeah, I can't help but judge invitations we get now. FI thinks I'm the etiquette police, haha.

The latest one:

- FI received invitation from co-worker; no envelope, so no names were addressed --  I *think* I'm invited too...?

- Wedding is in 5 months; they want an RSVP in 2 months. Evidently they are waiting for the RSVP headcount before they book the caterer. (Do people really do this??)

- The reply card is part of the folded invite... no perforation, not postcard sized, not addressed... I guess we cut it off and FI will hand-deliver it. 

WTF.  I think my eyes popped out of my skull.  

jules3964

thisismynickname said:

Oh and when I snark on invites, it's for things like, "Two Hearts Become One" or "Today Is The Day I Marry My Best Friend" gag-worthy crap.  Totally not my style. You'd better be marrying your best friend or you're going to have a cruddy marriage, IMHO. Snark snark snark. 

Oh yeah, we got one recently that said "Join us as two souls become one" and then there was no mention of wedding or marriage or anything. I joked to FI that maybe it was some other ritual instead.

HisGirlFriday13

I hard-core judge every invite we get -- always have. DH used to joke that I was the Etiquette Police until we got an invite from one of his friends with his name spelt wrong.

His first name has four letters, y'all. FOUR LETTERS. 

OP, you're nicer than I am, because I would totally be like, 'If they want to talk about why we're not there, well, we're not there because they chose a shitty day, a shitty date, and a shitty time to get married, and I'm not wasting my vaca time on crazy-ass people who can't get their shit together to host a wedding properly.'

chibiyui

I'm sorry, but they are terrible people to schedule a full blown wedding on a holiday.

Kauris

jules3964 said:

thisismynickname said:

Oh and when I snark on invites, it's for things like, "Two Hearts Become One" or "Today Is The Day I Marry My Best Friend" gag-worthy crap.  Totally not my style. You'd better be marrying your best friend or you're going to have a cruddy marriage, IMHO. Snark snark snark. 

Oh yeah, we got one recently that said "Join us as two souls become one" and then there was no mention of wedding or marriage or anything. I joked to FI that maybe it was some other ritual instead.

That screams PPD to me...

mcgarci2

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I hard-core judge every invite we get -- always have. DH used to joke that I was the Etiquette Police until we got an invite from one of his friends with his name spelt wrong.

His first name has four letters, y'all. FOUR LETTERS. 

OP, you're nicer than I am, because I would totally be like, 'If they want to talk about why we're not there, well, we're not there because they chose a shitty day, a shitty date, and a shitty time to get married, and I'm not wasting my vaca time on crazy-ass people who can't get their shit together to host a wedding properly.'

I have to say I would understand if your DH's name was Eiur... or Twou.. or Qdka.. well no.  No matter what I type it's only four letters so I can't see how that would be all that difficult to get correct.

jenajjthr

I have a student whose name is pronounced E-twa. Spelled Itou. Just now had to really stop and think to spell it right. If you Fi had a name pronounced way differently than spelled, a little latitude is given to somebody who doesn't know you that well. But a friend, no way.

erinlin25

Who gets married on memorial day!? It is one thing to have it that weekend, but the monday really!?  If I were a teacher still I for sure would not be able to get the day off since we could not take vacation days to extend holiday time already given.  If you cannot go you cannot go. Don't worry about what other people will think-- I'm pretty sure their judgement over a monday night wedding will overshadow the fact that you guys did not take a day off work to go to their wedding.  If it is suitable to take the day off then great, go, but I would not prioritize that one!

as for the return address, no harm in it being the In-Laws.  The host does not have to collect the rsvps.  

mysticl

Sugargirl1019 said:

Just received a friend's invitation! It has a very unique shape and layout and has her pictures all over it. But I found it really really strange that the return address on the envelope and RSVP was the grooms parents, and the people hosting the wedding on the invite are the brides parents. So who's really hosting? Also, they only have their first names on the invite. It's a good thing I know you guys. "Mr and Mrs request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jane to Jack." Hm okay. Super casual. The invite is super casual. But the ceremony time is 6 pm. On memorial day. A Monday holiday. AT NIGHT? Why would you do that to your guests? We have to drive 3 hours to attend this ceremony. I told FI, so what hotel are we staying at? And have you asked off for work? He replied "what? Ask off work? I can't do that." Well you're gonna have to because the reception will end around 10 or 11. Unless you want to not drink at all and drive back in the middle of the night so you can be at work at 7 am on Tuesday. FI is very very grumpy. And I don't know what to wear. And I don't understand their thoughts behind choosing a holiday weekend and not making it convenient for guests. Also, their wedding website has like, no info on it and still says "Tell your guests about your ceremony here" all over it. Shameful. If you're going to post your website to your guests, FILL IT OUT! /end snark rant. Cuz I'm a bitch.

Maybe it just worked out that having them go to his parents' was easier.  His mom could have offered to track everything or something.  

Maybe the goal was to not have a lot of people come.  When I was looking at venues a coordinator at one told me about a couple who booked a Thursday wedding partially because they didn't want a lot of people there but were obligated to invite a bunch.  

huskypuppy14

mysticl said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

Just received a friend's invitation! It has a very unique shape and layout and has her pictures all over it. But I found it really really strange that the return address on the envelope and RSVP was the grooms parents, and the people hosting the wedding on the invite are the brides parents. So who's really hosting? Also, they only have their first names on the invite. It's a good thing I know you guys. "Mr and Mrs request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jane to Jack." Hm okay. Super casual. The invite is super casual. But the ceremony time is 6 pm. On memorial day. A Monday holiday. AT NIGHT? Why would you do that to your guests? We have to drive 3 hours to attend this ceremony. I told FI, so what hotel are we staying at? And have you asked off for work? He replied "what? Ask off work? I can't do that." Well you're gonna have to because the reception will end around 10 or 11. Unless you want to not drink at all and drive back in the middle of the night so you can be at work at 7 am on Tuesday. FI is very very grumpy. And I don't know what to wear. And I don't understand their thoughts behind choosing a holiday weekend and not making it convenient for guests. Also, their wedding website has like, no info on it and still says "Tell your guests about your ceremony here" all over it. Shameful. If you're going to post your website to your guests, FILL IT OUT! /end snark rant. Cuz I'm a bitch.

Maybe it just worked out that having them go to his parents' was easier.  His mom could have offered to track everything or something.  

Maybe the goal was to not have a lot of people come.  When I was looking at venues a coordinator at one told me about a couple who booked a Thursday wedding partially because they didn't want a lot of people there but were obligated to invite a bunch.  

Yes, I agree. Who cares if the host is one couple and another couple collects the RSVPs? This makes no difference, and it sounds like the OP is trying to find something wrong with this wedding.

It's a little strange to have no middle names, but I know a few people who do not even have a middle name, or don't like it. 

Now, if only the brides parents are on the invitation, then the grooms last name should have been included. 

The bride and groom can pick any date they want for their wedding; however, they (or their families) cannot be angry if people aren't able to attend because it's inconvenient.  How is having a memorial day wedding any different than having a Sunday wedding not on a holiday weekend?Maybe they got a good deal?

sarals24

I think she meant there were no last names, not no middle names.

alexnicole452647

I have been finding that a lot of couple's pick dates that give them a discount but make it difficult for their guests for travel reasons and costs for rooms.  I understand it is your day but it is also polite to think about your guests as well. 

Word to the wise if you don't want to hear people complain think about the costs your guests may incur coming to your wedding.  For instance if you have a beach wedding in the summer they will be required to rent a room for two nights not one and it will be at a hefty price! 

mimiphin

I got an invite once with no names on it, the darn thing just said

We're getting Married (with a picture) on the outside
on the inside it had the where and how

It was for a distant cousin and we couldn't go and we didn't send a card since we didn't know his new wife's name!