Rant.

thefuturemrsard

I'm a BM in my cousin's wedding that is supposed to be June 6, 2015. She already has her dress, but has not even considered a venue. We live in a small town that has very few venues and she hasn't even began looking in to venues. I am completely dumbfounded. June is the biggest wedding month and she hasn't considered ANYTHING. She has her dress and color scheme. That's it. It is not even my wedding, but its stressing me out. I am a MOH in my mom's wedding in July of 2015, too. Plus, I am planning my own wedding for October of 2015.

I don't know if she realizes that most of the venues are probably already booked. How do I mention it to her without seeming pushy? 

I know it's not my wedding, but if I'm going to be in a wedding, I need to know for sure what day it is going to be and where.

[Deleted User]

What about casually bringing up the topic by saying "I've been helping my mom plan her wedding and planning mine and we've been checking out all sorts of venues. I was surprised when my mom was looking for a venue for her date in July 2015 how few dates they had available for the summer already.". If you want to add, "If you want copies of any of the pricing information I have for the venues I've been too, let me know and I would be happy to share the information. And then leave it at that. You can't force her to go book a venue, they may not have their guest list & budget figured out yet. But just casually mentioning the above, might get her to realize, that they should get to working on that stuff. In the meantime, don't stress over her wedding, enjoy planning yours and helping your mom with hers.

thefuturemrsard

Thank you Erikan73. My mom and I had been discussing our venues and Mom asked where my cousin was getting married. So, I text her and asked and that was when she told us that she has no idea. We know from experience that she isn't the best planner. Hopefully she will think about it and get it all figured out soon. 

grumbledore

thefuturemrsard said:

I'm a BM in my cousin's wedding that is supposed to be June 6, 2015. She already has her dress, but has not even considered a venue. We live in a small town that has very few venues and she hasn't even began looking in to venues. I am completely dumbfounded. June is the biggest wedding month and she hasn't considered ANYTHING. She has her dress and color scheme. That's it. It is not even my wedding, but its stressing me out. I am a MOH in my mom's wedding in July of 2015, too. Plus, I am planning my own wedding for October of 2015.

I don't know if she realizes that most of the venues are probably already booked. How do I mention it to her without seeming pushy? 

I know it's not my wedding, but if I'm going to be in a wedding, I need to know for sure what day it is going to be and where.

Holy crap, I'd have my invitations in the mail already for a June 6th wedding.  She's going to be totally fucked.

You should tell her.

grumbledore

WAIT.  Reading comprehension fail.  She has loads of time.  Leave her alone.

cowgirl8238

Aside from casually mentioning what Erikan said there isn't much you cna do.  Personally I started looking at venues a year and half out and found that some had dates filled all around, or even on our wedding date.  Honestly, its her problem if she doesn't book to get the date she wants.

AddieCake

I had my dress before my venue. In fact, I had a LOT of things before my venue b/c we ended up having to find a new one about 6 months out. She has over a year. This is not the big deal you're making it out to be. 

zitiqueen

thefuturemrsard said:

I'm a BM in my cousin's wedding that is supposed to be June 6, 2015. She already has her dress, but has not even considered a venue. We live in a small town that has very few venues and she hasn't even began looking in to venues. I am completely dumbfounded. June is the biggest wedding month and she hasn't considered ANYTHING. She has her dress and color scheme. That's it. It is not even my wedding, but its stressing me out. I am a MOH in my mom's wedding in July of 2015, too. Plus, I am planning my own wedding for October of 2015.

I don't know if she realizes that most of the venues are probably already booked. How do I mention it to her without seeming pushy? 

I know it's not my wedding, but if I'm going to be in a wedding, I need to know for sure what day it is going to be and where.

Her wedding is NEXT summer? Yeah, most places don't even accept reservations more than a year out. Slow your roll. And you do know what day it's going to be. June 6. You said so yourself.

chibiyui

Her wedding, her responsibility. Don't worry about her, she has time. If she doesn't get her top choice venue because she's not looking yet, thats on her. 

lc07

If she ends up choosing the same date as your mother, then you just can't be in her wedding. NBD. Let it go. She'll do it in her own time.

CaliMel11

I think she should be fine. If it was THIS June ,that would be one thing. But Next June, she should be good!
It's nice of you to want to help her though and you could still ask if she would like the information that you guys have, since it could be helpful.
Just say "Hey we were looking at venues for this thing, and have the information if you would like to look at it" and leave it at that.

l0llybean

Let her figure it out. If she doesn't end up with what she wanted its on her. Also, it's not ridiculous to think that some venues may still be available. I booked my venue this December for my July 2014 wedding.

abbyj700

Yeah - please leave her alone. She has more than a year to plan. We weren't even engaged a year before when our wedding will be - and we did just fine booking a venue. This is her wedding and you saying she's a bad planner because she hasn't booked a venue over a year out just sounds a little shitty of you to me. Be supportive but don't be controlling. 

Emmy1493

I'm sorry, but dude calm down. You're right, it's not YOUR wedding, so there's really no need to worry. Its more than a year away! Leave the planning stuff up to the bride/groom. She will let you know the things you only need to know. Stuff that involves you.

CrazyCatLady3

I booked my venue for my June 2014 wedding (a Saturday night) 10 months in advance.  There were still many options open.  If she has to compromise on the date or type of wedding she wants because she waits too long, it's on her.  

Pepper6

Out of all my family and friends to get married, I was the only one who had an engagement longer than a year.  Their engagements ranged from 2 months - 10 months, and they all managed to book/plan everything just fine (even the one that only lasted 2 months)...I don't think your friend will have any issues.  If she does, then she is the one who has to figure it out, there's no need for you to mention anything.

netskyblue2

Yeah let it go, it's over a year away.  I was engaged for 6 months.  My sister was engaged for 3 months.  We both found fine places to get married.  She can make it work.