Wedding Etiquette Forum

Registry info in invites

So, I'm helping a bride (soon to be family) out and making her wedding invitations for her. I have told her etiquette over and over again of NOT including the registry info in her invite, but she INSISTS it be put in there. I'm trying to save her the embarrassment and rudeness of her actions, but she doesn't get it. She doesn't have many married friends and family, so I'm helping her. She wants what she wants! End of story. Any ideas to help in this situation? Yikes!

Re: Registry info in invites

  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    You can only do so much.  If you've told her that its a bad idea, but she insists on doing it anyway. there really isn't anything else you can do.

    image 

  • Send her here for advice :)
    ei34melbelleupdoeydosnippet17
  • explain to her that registry stuff goes in shower invites and nothing goes in the wedding ones tell her people normaly will give a gift of money in the cards. you can say to her do you want all gifts or would you rather receive money
    melbelleup
  • I would be curious as to why she is so insistent on it? Does she feel entitled to getting gifts and wants everyone to know what she wants? I would remind them that they invited them not for what she wanted out of them, but because she really wanted them there.  Does she think think that her guests can't find the registry information?  You might show her how easy it is to find a registry if you go looking for it, outside of just asking the WP.  If that still doesn't work, let it go.
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Do you have example invites without registry info, like go over "this is where x ingormation goes' and go that there is no room forregistry information ?
    image



    Anniversary
  • Time2Wed2 said:
    So, I'm helping a bride (soon to be family) out and making her wedding invitations for her. I have told her etiquette over and over again of NOT including the registry info in her invite, but she INSISTS it be put in there. I'm trying to save her the embarrassment and rudeness of her actions, but she doesn't get it. She doesn't have many married friends and family, so I'm helping her. She wants what she wants! End of story. Any ideas to help in this situation? Yikes!

    The only thing I can think of is to stop helping her and be honest about why.
    doeydo
  • Ew I would decline helping with the invitations.
    image
    doeydoJen4948
  • I don't disagree with the advice, but what did people do before the internet (putting registry info on wedding website), and if they were not having a shower (therefore no shower invite to put registry info on)? Lots of phone calls to the couple?  
  • lilacck28 said:
    I don't disagree with the advice, but what did people do before the internet (putting registry info on wedding website), and if they were not having a shower (therefore no shower invite to put registry info on)? Lots of phone calls to the couple?  
    Yes people actually picked up the phone and called family or WP members for guidance. 
    Maggie0829luckysnorkel
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Time2Wed2 said:
    So, I'm helping a bride (soon to be family) out and making her wedding invitations for her. I have told her etiquette over and over again of NOT including the registry info in her invite, but she INSISTS it be put in there. I'm trying to save her the embarrassment and rudeness of her actions, but she doesn't get it. She doesn't have many married friends and family, so I'm helping her. She wants what she wants! End of story. Any ideas to help in this situation? Yikes!

    If she is this insistent and you are still wanting to help her, I would suggest doing an insert instead of putting it on the actual invite. It is still a major faux paus, but at least this way, it won't be printed on the invite, so she won't have the rude situation glaring at her in her wedding album years from now.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Try to suggest other options on how to get her registry out there, I put a insert in the envelop with the URL to my wedding website with "Please visit the website to find hotel accommodations, etc" and when they got there my registry is one of the tabs. If she still insists on having it on the actual invite just walk away.
    sarawifenowKauris
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    jphil0790 said:
    Try to suggest other options on how to get her registry out there, I put a insert in the envelop with the URL to my wedding website with "Please visit the website to find hotel accommodations, etc" and when they got there my registry is one of the tabs. If she still insists on having it on the actual invite just walk away.

    Oh I like this idea better than mine!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    jphil0790melbelleup
  • If you are doing them for free, I would say no if she insists on being rude.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    doeydoJen4948
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Ew I would decline helping with the invitations.
    So would I.  I'd let her know, "I'm sorry, but while you are certainly free to do as you see fit, I can't make myself a party to breaches of etiquette.  This is something I can't help you with."
    grumbledore
  • I know I'm probably going to get my head bitten off for this, but as far as etiquette goes (in my opinion), this is the lesser of the big offenses. If you are not having a wedding website, and have a ton of OOT guests then I don't think anyone is going to faint when they see it.

    However, I have gotten invitations that not only have a small line for registry info.....but have said "would also like cash and gift cards please".....and that was super gross.
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    magee2011 said:
    I know I'm probably going to get my head bitten off for this, but as far as etiquette goes (in my opinion), this is the lesser of the big offenses. If you are not having a wedding website, and have a ton of OOT guests then I don't think anyone is going to faint when they see it.

    However, I have gotten invitations that not only have a small line for registry info.....but have said "would also like cash and gift cards please".....and that was super gross.
    I don't know, I still don't like to see it on the actual invite.  If it were an insert card or whatever, I could just ignore it but if it's on the invite I feel like the couple consider it just as important as where the wedding will take place. Don't get me wrong, I know it's still rude to include it in the envelope.  Basically I read it as "here's who is getting married, this is the time and place and here's where you get their mandatory offering gift."  If it's a separate piece of paper I can just look at it and trash it while still hanging the invite on the fridge and not have their registry info staring me in the face.  Maybe that could be a good compromise?

  • APDSS22 said:
    magee2011 said:
    I know I'm probably going to get my head bitten off for this, but as far as etiquette goes (in my opinion), this is the lesser of the big offenses. If you are not having a wedding website, and have a ton of OOT guests then I don't think anyone is going to faint when they see it.

    However, I have gotten invitations that not only have a small line for registry info.....but have said "would also like cash and gift cards please".....and that was super gross.
    I don't know, I still don't like to see it on the actual invite.  If it were an insert card or whatever, I could just ignore it but if it's on the invite I feel like the couple consider it just as important as where the wedding will take place. Don't get me wrong, I know it's still rude to include it in the envelope.  Basically I read it as "here's who is getting married, this is the time and place and here's where you get their mandatory offering gift."  If it's a separate piece of paper I can just look at it and trash it while still hanging the invite on the fridge and not have their registry info staring me in the face.  Maybe that could be a good compromise?
    That's a good point. I have seen it on a separate card with the hotel information before. Which is technically something you are also asking people to spend money on if they are from OOT. Like I said, I get it's rude. but I also think there are FAR worse offenses, and I think that finding a compromise is a good option.
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