parents upset by non catholic wedding...help!

jenmickey79

hi!

I was previously married in a catholic church and was raised catholic.  My fiance was raised catholic but never confirmed and was previously married by a JP.  Since then we've felt that the catholic church just wasn't giving us what we wanted and we now have been going to a congregational church for the past 2 years.  My parents are catholic and continue going to mass.  I've gone with them before but found it very boring and unfulfilling. We are now going to be married in our church, the first congregational church.  I've told my parents before we go to this church but I don't think they fully understood.  I told my mother that we confirmed that we'll be getting married on October 4 and she just comes back with "did you get your marriage annulled?  if not, no church wedding" That crushed me.  I thought an annullment was just a catholic thing?  I also think they don't realize that we'll be getting married in a non denominational church.  I'm so afraid of breaking their heart.  I'm not sure how to break it to them that we wouldn't be getting married in a catholic church.  I really thought they knew.  help!

manateehugger

First of all, check in with your current pastor, but I'm unaware of any protestant denominations that require any sort of annulment. 

Second, this is the time where you have to realize that it's ok to worship in a different way than your parents. Your mother doesn't get to control your faith or your marriage. 

Honestly, the next time she brings it up, I'd simply say something like, "Mom, I know that you'd like us to get married in the Catholic Church, but FI and I don't feel as if that is right for us. We worship differently, and so we will be married differently. I know that this decision will be hard for you, but we need to worry about our own relationship with God as we begin our marriage."

[Deleted User]

I wish I had more advice to offer as I am actually going through a similar situation but the other way around. I was raised Protestant and my entire family has an uninformed view of the Catholic Church. We are having a Catholic ceremony and the more I talk to my family about it the more I feel like I need to sit them down and say "Your future son/brother in law is Catholic. I understand that we (myself included) may not agree with all the teachings of the Catholic Church but to have a marriage united in Christ I do not want to be divided by labels and I hope you can appreciate and support us in that"

ShellD13

My FI and I are Christian, my foster parents are ultra Catholic and over the years they have made many comments that it "wasn't a real wedding" when attending non-Catholic weddings.  I'm pretty sure they will have the same feelings about my wedding but we have planned it to mirror the faith that FI and I have and is true to our walk.  So I may find myself having the "I know you'd like us to get married in a Catholic Church" that @PDKH talks about above but we'll just cross that bridge if and when they say something.

I've never heard of an annulment requirement for a church outside of Catholicism.  I hope your wedding is everything that is true to your's and your FI's faith and beliefs.