New Here!! Fiance Step Mom!!

quadia1982

Hello! My name is Claudia! And I need some advice!! My Fiance has his mom and a Step Mom! There's a lot of bad blood there! But can be civil. I needed advice on the Reception!! Do we Include her in the wedding procession? I wouldn't mind her walking and neither would my fiance! Just wouldnt know where to place her and how to break it to his mom that shes going to be a part of it!!

OliveOilsMom

quadia1982 said:

Hello! My name is Claudia! And I need some advice!! My Fiance has his mom and a Step Mom! There's a lot of bad blood there! But can be civil. I needed advice on the Reception!! Do we Include her in the wedding procession? I wouldn't mind her walking and neither would my fiance! Just wouldnt know where to place her and how to break it to his mom that shes going to be a part of it!!

You should have MOG escorted first, by either her bf or another son, FI, etc.  Then Stepmom and FOG would walk down the aisle together and take their seats.  Finishing the processional is the MOB, with escort, the BMs, RB/FG, MOH, and then the bride and her dad.

As for the reception, MOG should host her own table of guests and FOG/Stepmom would host their own table as well.

I don't really know what would need to be broke to MOG, Stepmom is being included as the wife of FOG.

MairePoppy

There's really no need to break it to FMIL. It's a simple matter of etiquette that couples not be split up at social events, particularly weddings. It has nothing to do with FMIL and STMILs relationship, or lack of, with each other. I wouldn't even mention it to her. At rehearsal, just line them up in order and do your walk through. I think it would be very nice if your Fi asked his mom if could walk her down the aisle to her seat. I hope FMIL will act like an adult at her son's wedding rehearsal. If she makes a fuss, her son should take her aside and explain that the two of you are following proper etiquette and FSTM's participation is no reflection on his relationship with his mom. 

NYCMercedes

OliveOilsMom said:

quadia1982 said:

Hello! My name is Claudia! And I need some advice!! My Fiance has his mom and a Step Mom! There's a lot of bad blood there! But can be civil. I needed advice on the Reception!! Do we Include her in the wedding procession? I wouldn't mind her walking and neither would my fiance! Just wouldnt know where to place her and how to break it to his mom that shes going to be a part of it!!

You should have MOG escorted first, by either her bf or another son, FI, etc.  Then Stepmom and FOG would walk down the aisle together and take their seats.  Finishing the processional is the MOB, with escort, the BMs, RB/FG, MOH, and then the bride and her dad.

As for the reception, MOG should host her own table of guests and FOG/Stepmom would host their own table as well.

I don't really know what would need to be broke to MOG, Stepmom is being included as the wife of FOG.

Unless I'm mistaken, MOG should be last down the aisle before MOB. Step mom and the FOG should be seated before MOG.

OliveOilsMom

NYCMercedes said:

OliveOilsMom said:

quadia1982 said:

Hello! My name is Claudia! And I need some advice!! My Fiance has his mom and a Step Mom! There's a lot of bad blood there! But can be civil. I needed advice on the Reception!! Do we Include her in the wedding procession? I wouldn't mind her walking and neither would my fiance! Just wouldnt know where to place her and how to break it to his mom that shes going to be a part of it!!

You should have MOG escorted first, by either her bf or another son, FI, etc.  Then Stepmom and FOG would walk down the aisle together and take their seats.  Finishing the processional is the MOB, with escort, the BMs, RB/FG, MOH, and then the bride and her dad.

As for the reception, MOG should host her own table of guests and FOG/Stepmom would host their own table as well.

I don't really know what would need to be broke to MOG, Stepmom is being included as the wife of FOG.

Unless I'm mistaken, MOG should be last down the aisle before MOB. Step mom and the FOG should be seated before MOG.

I always thought that the MOB was the last down the aisle before the BMs.  That's the way I've seen it at the last few weddings I've been too.  And as for the MOG going before the FOG, I just went with ladies first for my order.  Really, the order doesn't matter, as long as everyone who is supposed to be seated prior to the ceremony is seated, and with their SO being their escort down the aisle!

NYCMercedes

@oliveoilsmom, yea, that's what I said, MOB is last. It is to honor the mother of the bride. The next person of honor is the mother of groom, so she goes next to last. The order matters to me, and most likely matters to the mothers involved. It's a slap in the face to the MOG to have the step mom go after the MOG.

MairePoppy

I have always seen it done as NYCMercedes describes and would seat the FOG and his wife first. When DD was lining up her pre-processional, MOG insisted that OliveOilsMom's lineup was correct. No stepparents, here, but she arranged it MOG and FOG, Bride's Grandparents, MOB and escort. I felt like MOG was giving her place of honor to my mother. But MOG felt it was an honor to go first. I wonder if this is a regional thing? 

OliveOilsMom

NYCMercedes said:

@oliveoilsmom, yea, that's what I said, MOB is last. It is to honor the mother of the bride. The next person of honor is the mother of groom, so she goes next to last. The order matters to me, and most likely matters to the mothers involved. It's a slap in the face to the MOG to have the step mom go after the MOG.

I don't see it as a slap in the face due to ladies first.  The only time I have not seen a MOG/FOG walk in together was when the MOG was escorted by an usher and FOG walking a few steps behind (and they were married).  That is the main reason I put MOG before FOG and FSMIL.  But if you feel it needs to be switched around, then so be it.  My intention was never to put down the MOG in anyway.