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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Spinoff: Why did you ask the members of your WP to be in your wedding?

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Re: Spinoff: Why did you ask the members of your WP to be in your wedding?

  • I have 4 girls in n my bridal party:

    My sister - Maid of Honor

    My best friend - Matron of Honor

    And 2 bridesmaids, who I've been friends with for many years.

    I love them all and consider them all my "go to" friends/family for anything. I couldn't imagine not having all 4 of them in my life for many reasons. They are all wearing black dresses that they all agreed on from DB. As far as shoes, makeup, hair, etc I don't care what they do as long as they are there beside me.

     

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  • tcnobletcnoble member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014
    I have six lovely ladies standing with me.

    My two younger sisters - they will be 19 and 16 at the wedding - are my best friends and while I had several people tell me "weddings are too much responsibility for girls that young" I knew I didn't "need" anything from them besides their support on the day of, which they are more than capable of providing. They were both SO shocked that I asked them to be my MOHs and cried when I asked them.

    My FSIL - she will also be 19 at the wedding - her and I have grown really close over the 5 1/2 years FI and I have been together. I already look at her like another little sister, and I definitely wanted her to be part of our special day.

    One BM is a friend I have known since I was 11 - we showed horses together and have been close ever since. She lives in Wisconsin so I am really excited to not only have her here for the wedding but to be standing up with me.

    Another BM also lives in Wisconsin - I've known her since I was 14 - I moved away 6 years ago and we have stayed really close, done lots of trips together, etc. Love her.

    Last BM is my closest girlfriend here in Vegas - she has been a big part of my relationship with FI, as my FI and her DH are best friends. She's the most level-headed person I know and has a lot of qualities that I admire. She's a really great friend.

    They will all pick out a dress of their choice, within their budget, given a color/length/fabric by me, and choose their own shoes, accessories, hairstyle, make up, etc. I'm not picky.

    I have two "flower girls"... I think they could probably be considered Jr. bridesmaids but they like to call themselves flower girls (even though they won't be throwing petals). They are ages 9 and 7, I started teaching them both horseback riding lessons 3 years ago and have been super close with their families. They are SO excited and can't wait to go dress shopping haha

    Love this thread and reading about all these special people that are parts of our weddings!! :)
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I asked four: 

    My sister/MOH because she's my best friend and has been there for me always --- I can't imagine getting married without her by my side! 

    The other three girls are also besties (which sounds childish, but it's what they are). One of them I've known for six years, the other two for three (one might even become my future SIL someday!). These women are amazing and we've had some amazing times together. I know if I ever need anything, I can count on any of them to help me out. 

    I've asked them to wear the dress I picked (after getting their input, of course) with any black shoes they choose. Hair & makeup is up to them. I will probably get their jewelry for them (not as their gifts, of course). 
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  • 6 BM's - two sisters, four close friends from college - all of them are also friends with FI, which makes me happy. 

    They picked their dresses from a designer I chose, asked them to wear silver shoes, and then show up on time about that's about it. 
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  • I have two BMs. One is my closest friend from my first grad program and the other is my closest friend from my current grad program. I didn't want to ask a bunch of girls who I will be friends with for a few years and then fall out of touch with. We may not always be as close as we are now (one already lives far away, and the other may move in a year), but they were the two friends I feel like I will be friends with for years to come. @larrygaga we are having FI's two 12 year old nieces as flower girls. They are totally down. Also, our ring bearer is 8.
  • I have four:

     

    -My MOH is my sister.  Obvious reasons.

    -My FI's sister is a BM.  FI and I have been together almost 10 years now, so we know each other well.  They have a very close knit family, so it was important to both of us that she be included.  Her H is a groomsma as well.

    -My other two are my current BFFs.  These are the people I would call at 3am if i needed to hide a body.  Honestly, I would also call one of my other friends i i needed to hide a body, but i wanted to keep it small to reduce costs/drama.  The third friend will be doing a reading.

     

    I picked a fabric, length, color, and designer and all 4 girls wound up with different dresses, which is fun.  They were told to wear whatever silver-tone jewelry and shoes that they want, and that they can do whatever hair/makeup that they want.  I made hair/makeup people available to them at the hotel suite beforehand, and all of them (and the moms) are going to take advantage of either one or both.  I also offered to make appointments for all of us the day before the wedding for mani/pedis at a local spa, which was also optional.  3/4 of them wanted either a mani, pedi, or both.

  • My WP consists of 4 women

    My sister is my MOH

    Another bridesmaid is a friend of mine for 16 years....

    Another bridesmaid is my little in my sorority we've been friends for 15 years now and she is always so supportive and postive

    My last bridesmaids is FI's sister.  She is so kind and wonderful, even though I haven't known her as long as the rest of my friends

    Anniversary

  • I have four girls:

    MOH - my sister. There wasn't really any choice to make there. She's my sister and the person I'm closest to in the world. We've been through everything together.

    BM1 - my best friend for over 20 years. I couldn't imagine her not standing up with me.

    BM 2&3 - my nieces. I love them like they are my own children and they had to be a part of my wedding.

    They are all wearing the same dress that they picked out (one of my nieces had straps added to hers because she wasn't comfortable with strapless). I told them wear any shoes as long as they weren't silver. I am paying to have their hair and nails done the morning of the wedding. I'm hosting lunch for them at a suite after the salon. I think BM 1 won't be able to make it because she will need to get her baby to the sitter's. Other than that they don't have to do anything. I hired people to handle everything else for me so they can enjoy the day with me. 
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  • We are having 8 people stand up with us at our wedding. They are varying degrees of family we have known forever to friends who we've met within the last few years. I can say that we couldn't imagine the day without each and every one of them.  We chose them all because we love them unconditionally and can see them being in our lives for life.


  • I have three people standing with me at this point: My little brother will be my best man.  We've been super close our entire lives.  Well, his, at least, since I didn't get to have a brother for the first 19 months of my life. Two of my best friends for over 20 years will be my bridesmaids.  I've been close with both of them since (various points) in high school.  They have been there for me through everything and are like sisters to me.

    I originally had a third bridesmaid, who fell into the same category as the other two.  She is, in fact, the person I consider to be my best friend in the world.  But she has been struggling with mental illness for a while now and being in my wedding was putting way too much stress on her and was making her illness worse. She told me she couldn't be in the wedding and I agreed it was more important for her to focus on getting well.  At this point, I hope she will be well enough to attend the wedding.  But I'm not so sure that is going to happen.
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  • I had 2 and H had 2.

    My MOH was my sister and my bridesmaid was my longtime friend from high school who has been the only person from back then come through and visit me since I moved away.  Both would help me dispose of a body in the middle of the night, though we might need to involve the groomsmen since they're both pretty petite.

    H's best man was one of his favorite friends from college he still talks to regularly though they haven't had a chance to hang out since fall.  For many reasons, I'm grateful my H is friends with that guy.  His groomsman was another friend from college who is also a good friend, though we haven't seen him so much since we moved 2 hours away.

    Everyone got their attire and made it to the ceremony site early.  We picked out the dress together, decided on silver shoes and I paid for them to get their hair and makeup done though they decided what they wanted (and decided to match).  The guys had their rental paid for but H and I had picked it out. Most of them went to the rehearsal, though my bridesmaid had a class she couldn't get out of and I told her all she had to do is figure out how to walk in a straight line down the aisle in the shoes she picked out.  (She did fine.)  I ended up asking my mother and sister to make a special trip down for my final fitting because my dress had a HUGE train and bustle and I was incapable of doing it up myself and the seamstress altering my dress said she needed someone there to teach. (As an aside, my butt is famous as it was photographed for their book of bustles since I had the largest train and elaborate bustle they'd ever done.)
  • I asked 6 girls.  My sister as my MOH, my cousin as my bridesmaid and 4 of my closest friends.  I chose them because they are people who I hope to continue to be in my life even after my wedding.  I am asking each of them to wear a purple bridesmaid dress of my choice thats it.  I am asking them to wear whatever color shoes they want to match the dress and their own jewelry.  I am paying for them to get their hair done and they will do their own make-up.  I will also be hosting all of my bridesmaids in a 2 bedroom suite the night before our wedding  and after the rehearsal dinner(provided as part of our venue) for wine as well as getting ready the next morning, breakfast and sleep :)
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  • My (2) BMs are my closest friends, they are the ones I call first when something is wrong. I've known them more than 10 years. One is my sorority sister and the other was my first friend when I moved to my current city. 

    I love them and trust them and they are the two people who were most supportive of my decision to give my (now) FI another chance. They are my biggest cheerleaders and I happily return the favor.

    They tried on a total of four dresses before they picked the dress, I paid. They picked beautiful navy dresses with an ivory lace overlay. I've told them they can wear whatever shoes and jewelry they want, but told them I would be wearing pearls (for reference only). 
  • I have 4 women standing with me. My sister is MOH and 3 of my cousins. I have a really tight knit family and these women are the people I'm closest to. As we were growing up we did everything together. I have one uncle who calls us the five musketeers and at every family thing we get asked to pose together for pic a million times. I asked them to pick either a black or yellow dress, I didn't put any restrictions on length or anything. I'll see them at the rehearsal dinner the night before and they are going to come to my house to get ready in the morning (their idea). I also want to add that my best friend, he is seriously one of my favorite people in the world, is walking me down the aisle.
  • I love this thread!

    I wanted to pick people that would be there to support me and who I could just have fun with!

    My MOH is my sister. This was just a no brainer to me. We are really close even though we are totally opposite when it comes to personality. Then I asked my auntie to be a BM we have always been close and I wanted her to be apart of my special day. My other 2 bridesmaids are friends from a ballet company I was in growing up. They are awesome and even though we don't get to spend time together hardly ever anymore we'll always have each others backs.

    Our flower girl and ring bearer our my FIs grandparents. They are traveling across the country for our wedding which is a big deal for them so we wanted to include them. And they are more then thrilled to take on this role!

    And my baby brother (who is now taller than me and starting to drive!) will be walking me down the aisle.

    So glad to have all these people by my side :)

     

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  • labrolabro member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I have six women standing up with me.

    My Matron of Honor is my younger sister. I was her MOH. We're extremely close and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    My Maid of Honor is my youngest sister. For the same obvious reason. Me and my sisters are all really close. I couldn't imagine not having them stand up with me at my wedding.

    My FI's two younger sisters are standing with me. We've started to develop a really great relationship with each other and I'm excited to have four "little" sisters soon.

    Two of my BFF's. One I've known for 13 years and the other for 9. We've stayed close despite going out of state for college, being in different schools, moving away, job changes, children, husbands, everything. If I didn't have budget constraints there would be at least two other women I'd ask to stand with me, but it's more than enough to just have them there on the day of the wedding.

    FI is having four groomsmen stand with him. They're all either coworkers or former coworkers but they are his best friends.

    Our ringbearer and flowergirl are FI's nephew and niece. I'm so excited to be officially an auntie in just 6 more months! My dad is walking me down the aisle. Not only because I love him and want him to be a part of the wedding...but also because I'm going to need someone to help keep me from speed walking/running and move at a slightly more dignified pace.



  • We're doing 3 on each side...

    My side: 1) My MOH is my little (sorority little), she was with me when I picked my dress. We went out for a drink after, and I asked her then. 
    2) Next will be one of my best friend from high school- She was by my side when I found out I was pregnant at 17 and tried to hide it, when I miscarried 2 months later. She's never judged me or wavered in our friendship. She was the first person I thought of when I thought of who I wanted by my side. I almost asked her to be MOH, but I didn't want to overwhelm her as she is a very anxious person. I wrote her a letter asking her since she lives 1000+ miles away from me.
    3) The third will be a close friend from work. She was the first friend I made, on the day I had my interview, and we've become fast friends since then. 

    His side: His brother is best man, and the groomsmen are one high school best friend of his and one of his fraternity brothers. 

    The requirement we have are 1) attend the wedding, 2) get the dress within the lowest budget range getting me. Other than that, I don't care. They can pick their own shoes- I'm leaning towards silver/grey (if not that, black) which I think can be useful with other dresses if they choose, choose to stay at the hotel or not, etc. I really don't care. I'm borderline on if I just want to give them a dress style or actually choose a dress. The guys will only need to get the suit/tux.
  • I like this thread! 

    FI and I each have 5 VIPs- we didn't mean for it to match, it just ended up that way.

    My MOH is my younger sister and other half. We're less than 3 years apart in age, and I can't imagine having anyone but her in this position. She is also my "designer"/"coordinator"- she is a costume & prop theater designer for her university's theater department and is seriously the most talented, creative person I've ever known in my 30 years. Our decorations will look incredible thanks to her! (We have made everything ourselves, including centerpieces, ceremony arrangements, etc.)

    BM1 is my FI's older sister & only sibling. Since FI & I have been together for 12 years, I feel like I have a great relationship with her and I can't imagine not having her in our wedding.

    BM2 is my best friend in vet school. I could definitely call her at 3am to dispose of a body or get me out of jail. 

    BM3 is my former (and hopefully future) boss, my advisor, my mentor. I worked for her for five years before I started vet school, I continue to work for her when on break from school, and she's hinted at hiring me as her associate once I graduate in two years. She is like an older sister to me at this point as she is only 9 years older than I am- and when you work with someone six days a week for so long in such a small setting (a privately owned vet practice where there's only 5 people), you become family. 

    BM4 is BM3's 11 year old daughter. I met this girl when she was only 4 years old, I've have watched her grow up, I've babysat her on numerous occasions. I've helped her with homework & school projects, taught her how to take care of and show her first 4-H steer (if anyone doesn't know what this is, let me know!), and I'd promised this girl all her life that she would be my flower girl when I got married. I never thought it would take us this long! Haha! We have a running joke that if we waited too much longer, the flower girl was going to be taller than the bride- I'm barely 5', and the child is up to my eyebrows now. Her big girl heels will just about get her at my height! Anyway, I still wanted her in my wedding, but I wanted her to feel like the "big girl" that she's becoming. She wearing a similar dress at the other BMs (floor length, same color), but with some fun embellishments and with straps. 

    Flower Girl is my cousin's 4 year old daughter. Me, my sister, and our two female cousins (siblings) were incredibly close growing up- we were the only "kids" in our family along with a male cousin, and we are all very close within age, only 4 years separates the oldest (me) from the youngest. Both female cousins have gotten married already, we've drifted apart as we've gotten older, and I wanted to mend some bridges/include more family. Cousin's daughter is an absolute precious ham that loves dressing up & being in the "spotlight", and I've enjoyed dress shopping, planning, and laughing like we were kids again with my cousins. 

    As for dresses/shoes, etc. My sister, my mom, and I went to David's Bridal- where I bought my dress- and my sister tried on several styles of dresses that come in the color we wanted (wine), and I took her picture in each one. None of the dresses she tried on were more than $120, and we double checked that all BMs would get $20 off their purchase b/c I also purchased my dress there. Since we're all scattered around the state of Texas, I sent the pictures of my sister in each dress to all the other ladies and got their opinions on each one. My sister provided details on fit/feel, but I also told them they could go to their local DB to try them on for themselves if they would like to get a better idea. Surprisingly, without knowing what any other BM decided, they all picked the same style. I met BM3 & 4 at the store on a different day to pick out BM4's dress- which I paid for. I didn't want BM3 having to pay for both her and her daughter's dresses. 

    Shoes- sister & I went on a MASSIVE search for a pair of shoes that were a) ivory sandals 2) with a low heel, NOT STILETTOS 3) that were comfortable and 4) inexpensive and 5) didn't scream BRIDESMAID SHOES so they could be worn on other occasions. I never want to go shoe shopping again. Ever. In my life. We finally found a pair of ivory Aerosole sandals with a 2.5" heel  (with the cushy sole!) that were $29.99. I took pictures, sent to them everyone individually. Got opinions and verified price, and everyone was good with them. (I actually bought them for BM2 b/c I owed her money from a previous transaction. Lol) 

    H/M: Nobody is required to do anything specific. I've told everyone where I'm getting my hair & makeup done & what they charge for each service, and that if they would like to join I would reserve the necessary stylists for the afternoon. Everyone is a grown woman who is perfectly capable of making themselves presentable, and my sister is actually going to do BM4's makeup for her. Everyone has stated they want to have their hair done professionally at this point, but I don't have a "style" requirement. However they feel beautiful is what they can dictate to the stylist!



    Side note: Speaking of makeup- I was getting pricing & scheduling information for bridal groups from a salon in town, and they mentioned that the price included a free consultation. I asked if the consultation was required for each member of the bridal party because my ladies are so spread out and it was not possible for them to come to the salon prior to the wedding day. Her response? "Oh no honey, you're the only one that needs the consultation. The artists will do their makeup like YOU want it. It's YOUR day, YOU get to pick the color palette and what everyone wears." 

    I was completely floored. I've never heard anything so ridiculous. So THAT is where all the entitled speshul snowflake bridezillas get their ideas- the people that work in the freakin' industry! 
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    I have several female friends but only one I actually consider a "close" friend. She's actually more like a sister to me, so she was an automatic choice for my MOH.

    Since we had a small wedding (43 guests), I decided to just have a MOH. Plus, with it being Vegas, the typical ceremony just has 1-2 attendants anyway.

    As for requirements, I felt weird asking her to pay for her dress on top of the flight and hotel, so I bought it for her. My only requirement was the color, black, so that made it pretty easy to shop around. We went shopping together, more for the fun of it than for me to "approve" anything. I also paid for her hair and makeup.
  • Because they were our best friends in the whole world.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • edited April 2014
    I have 4 bridesmaids!  This is a cute thread :)

    I Opted out of having a MOH - I was MOH for a friends wedding and she really, REALLY relied on me to get a lot of her planning done.  I also had a really obnoxious BM that I had to "keep in line" (not my words..) so to speak.  I'm talking had to DRAG her back to the hotel and make sure she didn't drown in her own mess all night kind of over drinking at the bachelorette party because she was wrapped up in complaining about her life and lack of relationship.  I get it, but come on... at someone's bachelorette party?  With this as my experience of what  MOH is responsible for, I chose not to burden anyone with that responsibility.  I learned later (thanks to here) that my situation wasn't the norm, but had already committed to not having a MOH :)

    My first BM is a friend I've had since I was 9 years old.  She and I were best friends all the way through middle school and Junior High and stayed close friends when she moved a couple hours away.

    My second BM is a friend I've had for most of my adult life.  We were friends of friends and then ended up getting closer when she and I started working at the same place.  We were totally inseparable for years and now even with our jam packed schedules we still get together to laugh like the irresponsible 19year olds we were when we first met.

    BM #3 and I met through BM#2 and became close after we started working together.  She's spent a lot of time with FI and me playing video games, and greatly helped me achieve my weight loss through being a great gym partner!

    BM #4 I met at work.  We originally couldn't stand each other and totally thought the other person was annoying.  After about 3 years of working together we finally really started to get to know each other and clicked really fast.  We now work side by side in a 2 person department and she is absolutely someone I confide in from anything work related to anything in my personal life.  She has always been 100% supportive of our relationship and always makes me feel good and appreciative of what I have with FI!

    They're all wonderful friends to me and I couldn't imagine not having them up there with me when I commit to my best friend of all!

    ** edited because I suck at typing.
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  • Alikat9614Alikat9614 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    I'll have two lovely ladies standing with me. My MOH is a very dear friend. I've only known her for about 2 years, but we instantly clicked and she is definitely the gal I'd call to help bury a body... My other BM is my cousin. We've been close since we were young, and she's like a sister to me. My niece (5) and nephew (8) will be the flower girl and ring bearer. We hadn't originally thought of having them in the wedding, but they told my mom " if aunt ali needs any weddin kids, we wanna do it!" Adorable. :) FI is having 3 GM, all close friends. After much coaxing, he finally realized having even numbers wasn't important. Phew! (ETA: spelling is hard)
  • I have two ladies standing up with me. My BFF for 15 years and my sister. We are like a trio of sisters together. I love when all three of us get together. 
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  • I'll have 6 ladies standing up with me.

    I have 2 MOH:  My little sister and my BFF.  Both of the ladies are amazing and I couldn't chose between them so I didn't!  I've known BFF since I was 2 - my mom creeper followed her mom cause they had the same stroller - and we've been BFFs ever since.  My little sister is amazing - she's my other bestest best friend and I couldn't imagine my day without her.

    BMs are my best friend from elementary/middle/high school, my 2 college best friends, and FI little sister. 
         I was recently in best friends wedding and, even though we've grown apart in college, I can't picture my wedding without her standing with me.
         My college best friends lived across the hall from me freshman and sophomore year and helped convince FI that I would say yes if he asked me out.  They are super fun and are very close to FI and I.
         Both my FI and I are very close to our siblings - 1 little brother, 1 little sister each - and my sister and FI little bro were MOH/BM but FI didn't want to mix genders, so I asked his sister and he asked my brother.  I very much like my FSIL and probably would have asked her anyway.

    For dresses - I picked a color and requested short and let them loose at David's Bridal.  Each of the girls feels comfortable in their dress and all were able to get one within the budget they wanted.  I tried to keep shiny-ness levels the same across the dresses - but there is some mixing of fabrics going on and I couldn't care less - they all look amazing. 

    I asked them to wear black dressy shoes - who is going to be looking at their feet to care if they all match heel height or style?  There's no hair/makeup requirement or guidelines really - I did ask them to try and keep their hair a normal color - but the important thing is that they are there.

    I asked them to come to the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner and will be paying for hotel rooms so they don't have to try and drive home or pay for their own room.  Planning on basically having a sleep over with them after the rehearsal and then chilling with them until the wedding. :)
  • I have a ridiculous huge group of girls.

    My Matron of honor is my FSIL, FH's SIL, I have known her most of my life and she has always been a huge fan of FH and I. She told FH to ask me out a year before we started dating because she could see the chemistry between us.

    My Maid of honor is my BF. She and I worked together and even lived together for awhile. Her dad is marrying us too which will make the day even more personal.

    My 2 sisters are BMs. We are all super close and I can't picture my day without them there.

    Two more friends from my old job. The three of us and my maid of honor all.worked together and would do girl nights out. They are some of my closest and dearerst friends.

    I have a friend from my 4H days. We meet at a camp when we were 16 and emailed back and forth for years. I was a BM in her wedding and hosted her baby shower when she had her first child.

    My other FSIL is the last BM. She is FH's younger sister and I have known her, her whole life. She lives with FH and I and is one of my good friends.

    The only thing I asked of them was that they buy any dress by X designer in Y color. The girls picked the designer at the shop and I selected the color as they were trying on dresses. I have a friend who does hair and she is asking friends of hers that do make up and hair to help her, which I am paying for that they can use or not.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • I haven't asked anyone yet (nail down the date first, get the house before the date), but I already know who I want to ask. My brother and I are each other's partners-in-crime, best friends, and devil's advocates.

    My BFF is my dearest friend on the face of the earth.
  • beharringtonbeharrington member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    I had a MOH and two BMs and a FG.  DH had BM and two GM.  Originally, we had planned on 4 each (not to match) but had a huge falling out with my brother and SIL that didn't get mended until right before the wedding.

    MOH was my cousin.  I'd call her to help bury a body (but not to bail me out because she'd be in jail with me).  She's amazing and kept me from killing my MIL during the planning.

    BM1 was DH's sister.  We felt it was important to include siblings.

    BM2 was my parent's next door neighbor.  She was 11 at the time of my wedding.  I've known her since the day she was born and I have an aunt/big sister role in her life.  She had always wanted to be a flower girl for me but DH took too long.  She was thrilled to be a BM.

    FG was my other cousin's daughter.

    DH chose his best friend since elementary school as his BM and his GM were his younger brother and best friend since high school (he was the one who introduced us).

    Attire/M/H
    - I chose the dress color and then went to David's Bridal with the youngest (she's the only one who lives in the same city/state as me).  We tried on a bunch of the dresses and she chose one she liked best.  I then went to DB with my MOH the next time I was in town and she chose the same dress.  Originally, I was going to let them all have different dresses but since two of them chose the same one, I asked SIL to go try it on.  It was within her budget and she liked it, so we went with it.

    - FG wore the dress she wore for her parent's wedding 6 months earlier and my cousin bought a sash that matched the dresses.  We were all surprised it still fit her.  If it hadn't, I told her to mom get whatever white/cream/ivory dress she could find.

    - I bought them each a wrap to wear in church because I wanted shoulders covered and the dresses were strapless.  They only wore them for the ceremony and pics at church.

    - I helped MOH choose her shoes because all she owns are athletic ones and boots.  We went with flats.  (She was so funny because when I asked her, her only request was that I not make her wear heels.  I told her I didn't care if she wore a tux, I just wanted her there.  She chose to wear a dress for the first time in 15 years as long as she could wear flats.)  I don't even remember what shoes the other girls wore.

    - I offered them the choice of doing their own hair and makeup or using the people I was having come do hair/makeup for me and mom.  My SIL did her own and showed up in time for pictures.  MOH has crazy short hair and did her own (gelled it and put in a clip) but did get makeup.  I think BM2 had her hair and makeup done but I'm not sure about the hair.  FG had her hair done because I wanted her to wear a circlet of flowers.  I ended up paying for everyone because we were running a bit late and they all looked so happy and beautiful that I didn't care.

    - the groomsmen rented tuxes (except for one who owns one so he just rented the vest and tie).

    As far as what we expected from them...nothing except showing up at the rehearsal and on time the day of (only Catholic wedding any had attended so it was important they understand the order of mass since they were in the front pews).  MOH, my brother's wife, and a friend threw my bachelorette.  Three family friends (second moms kind of relationships) threw my shower.

    ETA: holy wall of text - didn't realize I had so much to say...
    Anniversary
  • We are having a really big WP but I love everyone.  I'm actually still asking people because I don't see everybody in person as much as I would like.

    Family:
    1) MOH: my younger sister for obvious reasons.  I love her so much and we are very close.
    2) Fi's younger sister.  We've been together 11 years and I watched her grow up from a 12 year old kid into the young lady she is now.  I love her to pieces.
    3) Fi's cousin.  We initially weren't going to include her, but we could tell she felt left out and was really excited about the wedding.  She is very sweet, drama-free, and absolutely kind-hearted.  She just asked me to be a BM for her upcoming wedding, too.

    My best friends, who have all left me ;) for international adventures:
    4) M: we bonded on a study abroad trip to France.  She lives OOS, 4-5 hour drive.
    5) S: we were RA's together in the dorms.  She lives in Australia.
    6) D: we played violin together in the orchestra, then we were suite mates my senior year.  She lives in Spain.
    7) S2: close friends since middle school.  I haven't seen her in a few months and she is super busy as a new doctor, so I'm second-guessing whether I should ask her now.

    Junior BM we aren't really calling "junior:"
    8) My teenage cousin.  I love her like a little sister and she's super fun to be around.

    I don't actually know how many GM Fi is having because he's waffling back and forth about asking one of his friends (like I am).  I know his brother is BM, and the other GM will definitely include his other brother, his besties from high school, his college roommate, and 1 or 2 newer friends he goes on crazy adventures with.  They love to drive cross-country for random reasons like eating Maine lobster or getting beer that doesn't have a Northeast distributor.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I had a MOH and 2 bridesmaids. H had a best man and 3 groomsmen. We also had one male and one female usher who also brought up the gifts for communion and who were included with the wedding party for everything.

    MOH has always been my "little sister" (I am an only child) and her family is my second family. We grew up as neighbors and met when she was 5 and I was 7. We also ended up going to the same college which was awesome for the two years we were both there.

    BM1 - was also a neighborhood friend that I have known since I was 7. She has been close to my MOH and me as well, but we did not stay as close as I did with MOH during college and after mostly due to distance. Even though I don't see her as much as MOH, she is one of those old friends that even if you haven't talked in awhile as soon as you do talk you pick things right back up where they were and I couldn't imagine getting married without her by my side. She is definitely the sentimental one of our group, and when I asked her to be a bridesmaid she teared up so I know it meant a lot to her.

    BM2 - Was my best friend from high school. We went to different colleges but stayed in touch and visited each other fairly often. We now live across the country from eachother but try to keep in touch and visit whenever I am back in our hometown.

    Also SIL who is a few years older than my husband was sick of doing the bridesmaid thing for all of her friends and told me she much preferred to be a reader. So there was no hurt feelings or family drama about including or not including SIL. So thankful that my in-laws were reasonable about everything!

    My bridesmaids were asked budgets privately for a dress. I then specified a designer, color, fabric and length and then each girl picked their own dress (there were at least 10 options maybe more, but MOH and BM1 ended up with the same dress which is typical but I didn't care). I was also surprised to see on facebook that BM2 actually wore her dress to another wedding recently so I guess she liked it well enough to wear it again. For shoes I specified silver or black and ended up with 2 in silver and 1 in black. My shoes were purple and we have a picture of all of our pretty shoes. I like that they didn't look like complete clones.

    I paid for all three to get their hair professionally done (which was optional of course) and let them pick whatever style they wanted. Each of them did their own makeup. They had to drive or fly themselves to the city the wedding was in, but I paid for one hotel room with enough beds for everyone for 2 nights and they had the option of staying there or getting their own room. Day of breakfast was provided by the hotel, and I provided sandwiches for lunch. We got a limo bus with enough room for all of the wedding party and significant others (especially because some of the SOs did not know anyone else).

    Was an awesome day and over a year and a half later I still hear stories from my friends about how easy of a bride I was and the horror stories they have heard from friends or experienced themselves. BM #2 had a new bf who she brought to the wedding who knew no one else and he was so thankful to be included in the rehearsal dinner, wedding party transportation, and to get to sit with BM #2 at dinner. He said he felt like he was VIP when he had just met us. To me that just made perfect sense and how you treat the loved one of one of your best friends.
    image
  • I have 4 girls standing with me.

    My MOH is a great friend/roommate from college. After graduation, we both moved out of state, but ended up about 90 minutes from each other. We've gotten even closer these last 7 years. When I needed something to do, I'd go into the city and visit her, and when she needed to get away from things, she'd come over and stay by me (I'm in a small town in the middle of nowhere). She just got married this spring, and I stood up for her.

    I also asked another one of my roommates. She's been my go-to for advice over the years, and was actually the one who 'introduced' my fiance and I to each other (she told me about him, and e-mailed him about me).

    I also have my little sister and a dear friend who I've worked with for the last 6 years.

    My cousin's little girl is almost 5 and is super ecstatic to be the flower girl.

    My fiance has 4 very close friends that he grew up with who are his groomsmen. The ushers are his brother (they are not super close), my brother, and 2 other friends. His nephew will be the ring bearer.
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