Couples Shower is confusing my FI..

Simply Fated

I've attended both and have thrown both.

As the host, I had a say in some things. As the guest(s) of honor, they had some say in things. In the end we either had to compromise or end up with one of us dropping out.
The host obviously has veto power, but if the groom is legit disappointed, the bride shouldn't just dismiss his feelings.

FWIW, in my circle the groom always shows up at the end to say hello to family, help pack up gifts and sometimes take the bride home. But that's my circle, not a right or wrong answer for you. Ya gotta do what you all feel comfortable with.


On a sidenote... Having a single gendered party doesn't have to be sexist, but the host's attitude came across as such and that didn't go unnoticed.

mysticl

carliealissa said:

scribe95 said:

To me, you either have a wedding shower with just ladies. Or you have a couples shower with men and women invited. 

I have been to a ton of showers with just ladies and never been to one where the groom was there opening the presents. Sometimes they stop at the end to say thanks and see the haul, so to speak. But I would think if he wants to open gifts it needs to be a couples shower.

OK, wait, seriously?  Is this another regional thing?  I have been to one "couples shower", where men and women were present (fun!).  I have been to many wedding/bridal showers (is this not the same thing?), where the guests are all ladies, but the GROOM is always there...  why wouldn't the groom be present to open gifts and thank the guests?  These are gifts for him too.  I would think it very odd if I went to a shower and the groom wasn't there the whole time.  Like he was ungrateful, uninvolved, disinterested in the wedding or something. 

Well, he might not be there because he wasn't invited.  Or maybe the bride was offered a shower, accepted, and then told the groom he was expected to attend.  He may have no desire to attend a shower and if he had been asked would have declined or he may be busy that day.  Also a shower has nothing to do with a wedding.  Just because someone isn't interested in the shower doesn't mean they aren't interested in their wedding.  And some people aren't that interested in the wedding, they are more interested in being married.