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September 2014 Weddings

Not sure what to do about # of BMs vs GMs

I asked 6 girls to be BMs, i know at least 3 are definites. But my FI predicts only one of the guys he asked to be a GM will actually be able to do it. He might still ask his Dad to be Best Man. IDK if he is going to still have my brother in the wedding and this is a sore spot for him so I really don't want to bring it up. I just know he will feel really lousy with 1 or 2 guys by his side and me with 6 girls. IDK what to do, he & I agreed we don't want anyone giving speeches or readings during the ceremony, both of us find that boring and barely tolerable during weddings. Its a DW and I still don't know for sure who is going to be able to really be in it. So far they've all committed but that could change. Do I wait and see if the girls I expect to drop off do or... idk. Any advice is much appreciated.

Re: Not sure what to do about # of BMs vs GMs

  • May I ask why your FI would feel lousy about a difference in WP numbers? People frequently have different number and that's okay; it's not a reflection on the people getting married. Especially if it's a DW; sometimes people can't swing the travel expenses. At this point, since you've already asked your ladies, there isn't much you can do. But if FI is really uncomfortable, you could choose to have your WP sit in the front row instead of standing through the ceremony. Maybe then your FI wouldn't be as worried?
  • You don't need even numbers for your WP so If you end up having 6 (if all the girls you asked can make it that is) and he has 1, then that's what it is. What matters is you ask the people who you want to be standing beside you during your wedding. I guess I'm not sure what advice you're looking for? And why would he feel lousy? It's not a competition...it's about having people beside you who matter. He shouldn't ask people just for the sake of asking.
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  • HH2BeHH2Be member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I will say, my FI was a little hung up on having an even # also. I had asked 4 girls, and 3 said yes immediately, then the 4th said yes a while later. FI held off asking his GM because he wanted to know if he needed to ask 3 or 4. I told him it didn't matter if he had 4 & I had 3. We were having those who mattered most stand with us that day. He's finally gotten around to asking, and I know he asked 3 of the 4 guys so far and they have said yes. I agree with @Couggal12, it is about having people beside you who matter most, not about having even numbers.
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  • You don't need even numbers. Invite the people you couldn't imagine not having by your side, and then stop. Those are your people. If anyone found out they were only added (or removed!) to make even sides, they'd be unbelievably hurt. They are not props!

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  • KieralynnKieralynn member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    We don't have many close friends, 2 of my girls are my cousins and one is my niece. I like the idea of having the attendants sit in the front row rather than stand beside me. I think it is b/c if none of his friends he really wanted to stand with him are able and they really haven't been around for the last few years. I guess me having a bunch of people stand with me and him not is a painful reminder & will make him feel very alone. 

    IDK what advice I was expecting I just really don't want him to feel depressed on our wedding day and I KNOW some of my less tactful family might say something about there being a significant difference.
  • Then you can just remind them that there is no reason parties need to be even and the fact that they are not means absolutely nothing. You won't be the first wedding to have this happen!
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    Couggal12
  • Couggal12Couggal12 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    FWIW I'm having uneven sides. I have 4 girls and FI has 3 guys on his side. Yes it's not a huge difference but, we asked the people we want to have in our wedding. And if your family says something then that is on them for being rude. Just let them know you asked the people YOU want to be in your WP and that's all that matters.
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