Just Engaged and Proposals

Newly Engaged! What city to have the wedding? What did/would you do?

I just got engaged about two weeks ago on a trip to Puerto Rico!  The poor guy unknowingly had chips of paint all over his face when he was trying to do it.  Me, not knowing what was going on at first, was a bit preoccupied by the paint, and so while my fiance was saying all these sweet things, I was trying to brush all the specks of black off him!  Oops!

We're still mostly daydreaming at this point.  We have an idea of when we want the wedding to be, but I'm entirely stumped about where to have it.  I've moved around a bit, and so the way I see it there are three good places to get married:

City A:  My hometown.  I lived there for 18 years before going to college.  My only family there are my mom and dad, and my MOH lives here as well as a few family friends, but not a ton of people I plan on inviting live here.  I love the idea of returning to where I grew up to get married, but I want to make sure that a lot of people can make it to the wedding, and I know my mom, dad, and MOH will be there no matter what.  Most of my family and hometown friends are scattered all over and will have to travel no matter where the wedding is.  This city is a 5-6 hours drive from most of my fiance's family and many of our friends.

City B: My college town.  I lived in this beautiful town for seven years, and it's where I met my fiance.  It's also fairly centrally located for all of my fiance's family, not to mention a lot of our friends.  It's only 5 hours away from my hometown, so it's not too difficult for people in City A to make it there.

City C: My current location.  My fiance will be moving here in a few short months, too.  This would be easiest for us, I think, because we could visit venues and meet with vendors much more easily here.  I also plan on doing a fair bit of DIYing, so it would be easy to transport the things I make to wherever the ceremony and reception would be.  I've also made some great friends here that (being in grad school) don't have a ton of money, and I'm sure it'd be hard for them to fit travel into their budget, so it'd be easier for them to attend in City C.  The problem is that it is very far from both City A and City B (12 hours, if driving), and none of the rest of my family live that close, either, so almost all of our family and most of our friends would have to fly in.

I've thought on this a while and the decision isn't getting easier for me or my fiance to make.  I could see having a beautiful wedding at all three places, but I'm trying to find the right balance of convenience and sentimentality while making sure that we can have the people we love attend.  What would you do?

If you've lived in multiple cities, how did you decide where to have your wedding?


Re: Newly Engaged! What city to have the wedding? What did/would you do?

  • iik8riik8r member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    Forgot to add that City C, where we will be living, is easily the most expensive place to have a wedding, and I'm trying not to have an overly expensive wedding.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Normally I would say City C, but based on your follow-up post, I vote B.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • iik8riik8r member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    Yeah, that is starting to look like it would make the most sense.  I was just talking about this to someone, and they pointed out that I could have a second, low-key party in City C after we are married so that we can include people who live there and can't afford to fly to City B.
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yea, if you've already discussed it with your parents and they don't mind going to city B I think that's your best bet!! 

                                                                     

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ugh. Do not have a second party for people who cannot attend. This reception tour trend boggles me. If people can't go, they can't go. You said you don't want to have an expensive wedding, and now you're considering spending money on a second reception to accommodate people who can't go? That's ridiculous.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    sarawifenowMaggie0829
  • I would vote for option C.  Yes, it may be expensive for people to fly to but those who can make it will show up.  If it is the most convenient place for you to plan your wedding then do it there. You can't worry about how far it is for the rest of the people invited.  If you do you will drive yourself crazy and will not enjoy your wedding planning process.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • iik8riik8r member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    edited April 2014
    Your assumptions and judgmental reply are far more ridiculous (and, frankly, pointless).  I never said that it was going to be a big thing.  When I said low key I meant low key.  I meant a potluck barbecue in someone's back yard with the people in my department.  I'm not about to shell out extra money after a wedding.
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I would say City B.  Just an idea - does your college ever hosts weddings?  If so, you might be eligible for an alumni discount (since you said you're trying to keep costs down).


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    Anniversary
    iik8r
  • iik8riik8r member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    That's a good point, I'm sure many schools do offer discounts.  I've tried looking online to find out about it, but I've not found anything on the websites yet.  I may have to call or visit to figure that out.
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