Bridesmaid/Cousin Dilemma - Please Help!

latinaangel4

I'm in need of some advice. I have 4 bridesmaids, more than I originally wanted (I had to add 2 because my fiance wanted 2 more of his friends to be groomsman). Anyway, I already picked my bridesmaids and my fiance says he doesn't have any more friends that he'd want to add. My aunt, though, is hurt that I didn't ask my 16 year old cousin to be one of my bridesmaids. I love my cousin, but I just didn't think of adding her because she would be the youngest (we'll all be around 30 for the wedding) and she doesn't know anyone else. I didn't want her to feel awkward. I'm thinking of adding her to the wedding party, but because she'll be 17 at the time of the wedding, she'll be too old to be a Flower Girl. Would making up a role for her be a good idea? Like let's say, a Flower Maiden? I do want to include her in the party and this is the best way I see how to. Does anyone think this is a good idea or does anyone have any other ideas? Thanks in advance.

*Update 4/14/14*

I now know that wedding parties do not have to be even. My aunt has since apologized for asking me if my cousin would be a bridesmaid. I am considering asking my cousin, who has a beautiful voice, if she would be willing to sing at my wedding. Thank you again for your advice.

Jen4948

latinaangel4 said:

I'm in need of some advice. I have 4 bridesmaids, more than I originally wanted (I had to add 2 because my fiance wanted 2 more of his friends to be groomsman). Anyway, I already picked my bridesmaids and my fiance says he doesn't have any more friends that he'd want to add. My aunt, though, is hurt that I didn't ask my 16 year old cousin to be one of my bridesmaids. I love my cousin, but I just didn't think of adding her because she would be the youngest (we'll all be around 30 for the wedding) and she doesn't know anyone else. I didn't want her to feel awkward. I'm thinking of adding her to the wedding party, but because she'll be 17 at the time of the wedding, she'll be too old to be a Flower Girl. Would making up a role for her be a good idea? Like let's say, a Flower Maiden? I do want to include her in the party and this is the best way I see how to. Does anyone think this is a good idea or does anyone have another other ideas? Thanks in advance.

Having equal sides is not necessary; nor is it necessary to include everyone in the family.

If you want your cousin in your wedding party, the roles for a 17 year old are bridesmaid, reader, or usher.  Definitely not "Flower Maiden."  Don't make up a role.

AddieCake

Ditto Jen. You didn't have to add anyone. Also, you shouldn't be pressured into including people in your WP. If YOU want her, make her bridesmaid, reader, or usher. Made up roles are ridiculous. WTF is a flower maiden, and how the hell is it any different from flower GIRL?

chibiyui

I wouldn't add her. I was 17 in my sister bridal party of 23-25 year olds. It was awkward. 

manateehugger

Agreed - unless you want her in the wedding, don't ask her and don't make up a role for her.

Make sure you get a couple great pictures with just you and the cousin and call it a day. Your aunt will have to get over it.

MyNameIsNot

Including or excluding her (or anyone) because of even numbers is completely ridiculous.  Be very careful that your two friends don't find out that you only asked them to be space fillers.  They'd be crushed.

If you wanted to include her, you would have asked her already.  You shouldn't ask her because your aunt thinks you should.  

If you do decide to include her, it should be as bridesmaid.  Making up some childish title is a slap in the face.  

latinaangel4

chibiyui- That's what I was worried about. And the age difference for mine is bigger. Thanks for the input.

latinaangel4

Everyone, thanks for taking time to answer. Here's another question! My cousin is an amazing singer. I was thinking of asking her to sing at my wedding way before any of this happened. Is this a good way to honor her? Has anyone here ever had someone sing a song at their wedding?

Btw, I've never been a bridesmaid and I've only been to about 5 weddings, the last one being 3 years ago. I'm just now starting to learn more about everything by reading past posts. I wish I would've read more before asking my original question lol. You all have been helpful. Thanks again!

chibiyui

Singing would be appropriate and an honor. As long as she wants to sing. 

Jen4948

Yes, you can ask her if she'd like to sing at your wedding.  As @chibiyui says, that's an honor.

cowgirl8238

Just to add on to what @chibiyui says, if she doesn't want to stand up in front of everyone, you could also have her record her professionally and then play it during the wedding.  Still an honor without putting on the added pressure of a performance.

bananasplit472001

My sister decided to have me and her friends be apart of her bridal party.  My cousin, who is the same age, has been excluded.  It is nothing personal it is just that she is not as close with this cousin.  In contrast I included the cousin in my bridal party for my wedding next year.  My cousin is pissed that she is not in my sisters bridal party but is so happy to be in mine and is focusing on my wedding and completely not caring about my sisters.  In my opinion you do not need to include her in anything but as a guest.  I don't understand the people who just think they 'should' be in someone's wedding party

PrettyGirlLost

latinaangel4 said:

I'm in need of some advice. I have 4 bridesmaids, more than I originally wanted (I had to add 2 because my fiance wanted 2 more of his friends to be groomsman). Anyway, I already picked my bridesmaids and my fiance says he doesn't have any more friends that he'd want to add. My aunt, though, is hurt that I didn't ask my 16 year old cousin to be one of my bridesmaids. I love my cousin, but I just didn't think of adding her because she would be the youngest (we'll all be around 30 for the wedding) and she doesn't know anyone else. I didn't want her to feel awkward. I'm thinking of adding her to the wedding party, but because she'll be 17 at the time of the wedding, she'll be too old to be a Flower Girl. Would making up a role for her be a good idea? Like let's say, a Flower Maiden? I do want to include her in the party and this is the best way I see how to. Does anyone think this is a good idea or does anyone have any other ideas? Thanks in advance.