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Vent-I need him to move out now!

Since I've been out of work for awhile FI agreed to let one of his friends rent out our spare room to help with rent. It was fine at first, but I am either going to kill him or go live in my car!
It was fine at first, but now I feel like he is taking advantage of us.

When he moved in the plan was he'd chip in for groceries and I'd feed him dinner. So far its been 4 months and I haven't seen a dime towards groceries. Luckily he decided he no longer wants/needs dinner because I forgot he told me he'd be playing video games Friday and he got pissed that I told him dinner was ready.

He drinks a LOT. Which I'm not going to judge I easily finish a bottle of wine a night, the problem is he buys a 6 pack and then goes through whatever beer or wine we have in the fridge. I even found out the Marsala wine I have for cooking isn't safe!

In addition to the booze everything in the house seems to be free game. I can specifically tell him leftovers are going to be used for tomorrow dinner or FI's lunch and yet they are gone by morning. He used my nice kitchen scissors to cut his hair. He used one of my measuring cups as an ashtray and melted/burnt the rim of it.

Last night was my final straw he started lecturing me about making dinner and not doing the dishes after. No one else does dishes regularly except for me, but I do them the next day. After an hour of cooking I want to leave the kitchen. He went in forever all because he did dishes once last week and I made dinner and didn't clean up until the next day.

I've already been over this situation for awhile and FI agrees, but until I'm working again we need the extra rent money.
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Re: Vent-I need him to move out now!

  • We had to kick a friend out when we let her stay here and she took advantage.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCake said:

    And who the hell is he to lecture you in YOUR home about dishes? Fuck that noise.

    That was what definitely pushed me over the edge. I HATE doing dishes so the fact that I do them at all is a miracle.
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  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Kick. Him. Out. Seriously.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    themuffinman16
  • Oh fuck no. He needs to go.
    themuffinman16
  • I would probably move out myself, if FI doesn't get on the same page as me about kicking him out immediately.  No ultimatum, just 'I can't live with this asshole anymore, let me know when he's gone and it's safe for me to come back'.  Betcha he gets the message real quick.
    CLoGreenEyesthemuffinman16
  • The sad thing is FI is on the same page especially after last night. We need the rent money , but part of me thinks when you factor in food, booze, cigarettes, etc we may actually be breaking even or losing money. Need to sit down and do the math.
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  • You should seriously see what you can do about getting him to pay you for the food you've been cooking him. If he agreed to pay some grocery money, but hasn't, that needs to get straightened out. 

    Did you put anything in writing before he moved in?
  • @mbross3 we were dumb nothing is in writing its was just X amount for rent plus 1/4 of utilities and groceries. So far he's only even helped with utilities once. I was looking past it for awhile because the rent money was such a big help. FI is going to straighten things out ASAP.
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  • Angry update! I was cleaning just now and discovered apparently the votive candles in my kitchen window are also an ash tray. Of the fice candles 4 were COMPLETELY filleed with ash/butts. finally grew some balls and asked him what the fuck his problem is. His only excuse was he thought it was fine because one of my cigarettes was laying across the top of one. Mine was a new unlit one I set down because the phone rang and I forgot about! But it's ok he smoked it for me.
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  • He needs to go. He is way overstepping boundaries here.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    shaylagirl
  • No amount of money you're saving by having him pay rent is worth the aggravation he's giving you.

    Give him 24 hours to be out, full stop, no negotiation.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    themuffinman16[Deleted User]
  • So frustrating! Honestly I would kick him out at this point. Cut your losses with the grocery/utility money and just tell him he needs to go. 
  • Kick him out. That's ridiculous and the extra rent money isn't worth it. With all the stuff he takes you are likely not making much anyway.
    image Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • He has to go. No amount of money is worth that kind of aggravation.
  • Well, it's your house.  You need the money for the groceries, the money towards utilities, and money to replace everything in your home that he has destroyed right now (If it's a large sum you can offer to let him pay in installments and just add it to his rent.)  and I'm willing to bet that when you do add up all the money you spent on food and were not reimbursed for plus money to replace everything he ruined, you will learn you were making far less from this deal than you thought.  

    Also, from now on he buys and cooks his own food- if he can't be trusted to reimburse you for food, then he needs to go get his own damn food.  Any food or alcohol that goes missing will be either added onto his rent, or onto his bill of money he fucking owes you.  And since he hates dirty dishes so much, he can be in charge of his own.  If he lets them pile up in the sink, put them in his room.

    Because it is your fucking house and what you say goes.  If he has a problem with it, he can get the fuck out.  He has been taking advantage of you and proven to you, that you cannot be nice about this and need to put your foot down or else he will continue to take advantage of you.  Take no more shit- your current situation would have worked wonderfully with a trustworthy person rooming with you, but you don't have a trustworthy person rooming with you, so adjust accordingly.  

    If he does move out because of this, it won't be immediate- he's going to need time to find someplace else to stay.  That will be the time you can take to find someone else to take his place.  Put an ad out, ask around, whatever you need to do to fill that spot again.
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    afox007[Deleted User]melbelleup
  • Ugh what is wrong with people like this? My roomie let a friend stay with us for a bit and the same thing happen. Seems the bigger favor you do for someone the shittier they treat you. Kick him out! He is taking advantage because he's a friend (a shitty one, but he think you won't get mad at him). You'd be better off finding a stranger to rent to. Probably only a matter of time before he starts paying the rent late too anyway.
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    afox007LadyMillil
  • Kick him out and check out thekrazycouponlady.com and totallytarget.com (if you like Target) for couponing tips for saving on groceries now that you won't have asshole taking advantage of you.  Maybe put out feelers for more of an acquaintance to stay with you and get everything in writing this time.  This guy sounds like a dirtbag. 
  • You ladies are making me feel so much better. I was worried about being petty. I like the coupon idea too, I already use coupons occasionally, but being a little better with them could help a lot.
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  • I'd change the locks while he was out.
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    mbross3
  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    Practice saying over and over, until it comes out easily: "Dirtbag, I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out for me, and you need to find another place as soon as possible. Either tomorrow or the day after would be fine." End of conversation. The only other thing you might need to say after that is: "I'm sorry, Dirtbag, it's just not open for discussion." You can not be miserable and angry in your own home. It's a terrible way to live. Edit: Of course I didn't mean you should actually call him Dirtbag. Whatever his name is.
    afox007CLoGreenEyes
  • Every single time I've let someone stay with me, I've gotten burned. The fucking entitlement of overstayed houseguests is the worst.

    Hell, my brother moved out and he STILL leaves fucking dirty dishes in my house every time he's here.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    [Deleted User]casey8784
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    Tell him he has to go.  No negotiation.

    Years ago, my daughter rented the spare bedroom in her townhouse to another teacher.  The tenant went through profound social change.  The first year, she was a conservative, born again Christian from a very conservative Baptist college.  Two years later, she had developed an alcohol problem, and was bringing home strangers she had picked up in bars.  Daughter never knew who might be in her house Sunday morning. This became a safety issue.  I advised her to tell the young lady to move out.  I was the bad guy.  Daughter was unhappy, but followed my advice.  In the long run, it was the best thing for both of them.
    Was I wrong?
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    grumbledoreHisGirlFriday13
  • Never rent to a friend! They are great in small doses, but typically make lousy roommates. Try craigslist. We've had a room rented out for two years. Our tenet is awesome! Zero complaints. 
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    melbelleup
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    How do people think it's okay to behave this way? If I was renting a room from a friend, I'd be walking on eggshells so as not to overstep any boundaries. 

    Normally I'd say give him a week's notice before he needs to be gone, but after taking his complete disrespect for your home into consideration, 24 hours is sufficient. 
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  • He needs to go. Like right now. He has already burned the bridges with you. He is a grown man! He needs to take care of himself.
  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    scribe95 said:
    Also, this is picky, but in my house the person who cooks DOES  NOT do the dishes. If you are cooking he or your SO should be doing the dishes. 
    Yeah, this was the point where any sympathy for this dude went out the window. It can be rough being a houseguest and not getting all the rules of the house. But as far as I'm concerned, it's a nearly universal rule that the person who cooks doesn't do the dishes.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • I would be packing his bags and they would be waiting by the door for him when he got home.

  • phira said:


    scribe95 said:

    Also, this is picky, but in my house the person who cooks DOES  NOT do the dishes. If you are cooking he or your SO should be doing the dishes. 

    Yeah, this was the point where any sympathy for this dude went out the window. It can be rough being a houseguest and not getting all the rules of the house. But as far as I'm concerned, it's a nearly universal rule that the person who cooks doesn't do the dishes.

    That was the rule while I was working, but now that I'm home all day I do most of the cleaning. Which is even more reason why I should be allowed to wait until the next day if I want.
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