Wedding Invitations & Paper
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How to word invites when hosts are not parents, but parents are paying?

My parents are paying for the wedding.  FI's boss and his wife are hosting the wedding/reception in their home. Who is the invite from?  Having trouble with this wording . .  grrr.


Re: How to word invites when hosts are not parents, but parents are paying?

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    Mr. and Mrs. Joe Bossman 

    request the pleasure of your company 

    at the wedding of

    Ms. Ivgirl1000

    and 

    Mr. Ivgirl1000



    Now the million dollar question, what are your parents feelings on not being on the invite.  Since they aren't hosting they shouldn't be on the invite, but if there will be hurt feelings then it would be worth it to do something like 

    Together with their family and friends...

    ETA:  That is assuming that the boss and his wife share a last name.  If not it would Ms. Jackie Smith and Mr. Joe Bossman

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    Okay, so something like:

    Mr. and Mrs. Bride's parent cordially invite you 
    yada yada yada 
    at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Bossman

    doesn't  work? 
    I do kinda feel like my mom might be hurt by not being named & everyone on my side are going to be: "WTF? who is M/Mrs. Bossman?  
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    No, because you are basically saying that your parents are hosting with that wording.

    Honestly, I think you should go with 

    Together with their family and friends

    Ms. Ivgirl Lastname

    and 

    Mr. Ivgirl's FI Lastname

    request the pleasure of your company at their wedding


    I think with that wording you prevent hurt feelings between your parents who are paying and your friends who are hosting.

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    Thanks.  

    Also, do you know what is customary for where guests should send gifts prior to wedding? Will they ask or should I expect them to send to host, parents, dark side of the moon?
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    Thanks.  

    Also, do you know what is customary for where guests should send gifts prior to wedding? Will they ask or should I expect them to send to host, parents, dark side of the moon?
    Do you have a registry (registries)? If so, then where those gifts should be delivered is your choice since there is a place to note where gifts should be delivered on the websites. But if it were me I would just have them sent to your home.  Easier to keep track of and to stay on top of thank you cards as they come in.

    And just FYI, registries should not be included in your invite.  If people want to know where you are registered they will ask or do a search online.  Didn't know if you were planning on that or not but figured it wouldn't hurt to point it out.

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    Thanks.  Yes, I know not to put registry info on invites.  We plan on asking invitees to RSVP on Google voice or our website where they can get registry info.  Thanks again for the help!
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    Are your employers actually hosting, or are they simply offering the use of their home for your wedding?

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    The Boss Last Name Residence
    Address
    City State

    Reception to follow

    I would call Mrs. Boss and ask her opinion about your wording.  Of course, no matter what wording you use, you publicly thank Mr. and Mrs. Boss for the use of their home!  A toast would be appropriate.

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    Mr. and Mrs. George Boss
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name (etc.)

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    My parents are paying for the wedding.  FI's boss and his wife are hosting the wedding/reception in their home. Who is the invite from?  Having trouble with this wording . .  grrr.


    Who's paying is not relevant to the wording.  "Paying" does not equal "hosting."

    Who is issuing the invitations, receiving the responses, greeting the guests, and seeing to their needs?  Whoever is doing these things is the "host" and should be listed as such.

    It is not an "honor" to be listed on a wedding invitation, because the purpose of an invitation is not to "honor" anyone other than the guest, map out the family tree, or reflect the financial arrangements of the wedding (which are none of the guests' business).
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    I agree with Jen4948.  Paying for a wedding, or a part of a wedding, does not automatically make you a host.  Owning the property where the wedding is taking place does not necessarily make you a host, either.
    How about it, OP.  Who is really hosting your wedding?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

    Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home.  They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
    My parents paying.
    FI is sending invites & receiving responses. 
    My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
    We are hiring staff for ushers & such.
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    Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

    Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home.  They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
    My parents paying.
    FI is sending invites & receiving responses. 
    My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
    We are hiring staff for ushers & such.
    @lvgirl1000 - I really think you are best to just use "Together with their family and friends"

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    Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

    Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home.  They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
    My parents paying.
    FI is sending invites & receiving responses. 
    My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
    We are hiring staff for ushers & such.
    @lvgirl1000 - I really think you are best to just use "Together with their family and friends"
    Thanks.
  • Options
    Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

    Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home.  They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
    My parents paying.
    FI is sending invites & receiving responses. 
    My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
    We are hiring staff for ushers & such.
    I agree that it sounds like "Together with their families and friends" is probably your best course

    But once again, who's paying isn't relevant to the wording.  Your invitation is not a playbill listing who pays for what, and the financial arrangements are nobody's business except the couple and the people who are paying. 

    Nor is it relevant who is in the wedding party.  That doesn't go on an invitation anyway.


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    CMGragain said:
    Are your employers actually hosting, or are they simply offering the use of their home for your wedding?

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    The Boss Last Name Residence
    Address
    City State

    Reception to follow

    I would call Mrs. Boss and ask her opinion about your wording.  Of course, no matter what wording you use, you publicly thank Mr. and Mrs. Boss for the use of their home!  A toast would be appropriate.

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    Mr. and Mrs. George Boss
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name (etc.)

    Thanks
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