alternative to Father/Daughter dance?

Istoleahalo

My dad passed away a little less than 2 years ago.  My FI wants to have a mother/son dance, and even though I told him it was OK, he doesn't want to because I won't have a father/daughter dance.  I don't really want to dance with my uncle or my brother in my dad's place, as it's just not the same - I don't have the same relationship with them.  Are their any alternatives that I could do?  I feel bad, if he wants to dance with his mother, I want him to feel comfortable doing so...  but he thinks it would be odd since I'm not doing something.

chibiyui

It would not be odd. If your FI wants to do a mother son dance he should.

Maggie0829

Tell him that it would make you very happy for him to have that moment with his Mom.  It would not be odd for you not to have a spotlight dance and for him to have one.  Everyone will know and understand why you are skipping the father/daughter dance so people certainly won't think it odd that your FI is still having the mother/son dance.

AprilH81

As long as you are comfortable with it it is find that he do the dance with his mom. 

If he still doesn't want to make it a spotlight dance you can have the DJ play a special song for him and his mom (but the guests wouldn't know any different) and just let the photographer know to get pictures at that time.

Istoleahalo

I've already told him that I didn't think it would be odd, and I wouldn't feel "left out" or anything...I think he things it will make me sad (I'm going to be emotional just because I'm emotional over it anyway --very very much a daddy's girl, but that doesn't mean I don't want him to do it.  Maybe if I show him this and convince him that even complete strangers think it's OK he will listen.  lol

I like the idea of a special song and not really a spotlight too...maybe that will work.

sandbagger18

If you have a brother or a grandfather that you are close to, you could dance with one of them.

Istoleahalo

sandbagger18 said:

If you have a brother or a grandfather that you are close to, you could dance with one of them.

Unfortunately I don't have anyone that would fit in that category either.  Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers and my uncles (grandfathers are all passed as well), but not to where I would want a spotlight dance with them - singling one out above the others.

LarraO2530

Istoleahalo said:

I like the idea of a special song and not really a spotlight too...maybe that will work.

I like this idea, and also agree with Maggie in that everyone will know and understand the situation. I like the idea of choosing a special song that isn't necessarily danced to, but honors the relationship you had with your dad.

My FI will be having a mom/son dance, and I am not having a dance with my dad, but for totally different reasons. So I don't think it's weird at all for him to dance with his mom even though you can't dance with your dad. It's sweet of him to think of your emotions, but if you're OK with it, then he should dance with his mom.

Gina0887

It would be fine for just him. Maybe you could dance with your mom as well? Edit: I can't spell

donethat

I like @Gina0887's idea of a Mom dance....

He dances with his mom and you dance with your mom

or

the above mom dance, and invite all of the moms at your reception to join in with someone.  

or 

@AprilH81's idea of a special song for fiance and his mom ... but it's not a "spotlight" moment, but simply a special moment during dancing....  they will know