Invite the boyfriend?

esb55005

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

PrettyGirlLost

As a decent human being, yes you are required to invite all SO's of guests you are inviting to your wedding.

JellyBean52513

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

----------------------- Stuck in the box

Yes, you should invite him to the wedding. If the cousin is really that serious with him that they're about to move in together, it will hurt her feelings to have him left off the invitation. Don't do that her, show her relationship respect as you're inviting her to celebrate yours & make sure he's invited with her (by name!)

Simky906

Yes, you should invite the boyfriend. You should invite everyone's SO if they consider themselves to be in a relationship with your invites go out. Realistically, you will be super busy at your wedding so I wouldn't dwell on your FI's dislike of him since their/your interaction will be minimal.

phira

esb55005 said:

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

She has a boyfriend and should be invited with her boyfriend. The length of the relationship, the seriousness of it, the "acceleration" of it, as well as the fact that you don't know him and your fiance doesn't like him, are entirely irrelevant.

rswed072014

I've read that if someone is engaged, married, or living with someone that you should invite their significant other even if you don't know the person. There was an article a couple of weeks ago about top 10 things brides do but shouldn't, and I think this was covered there. At least you have a couple of months to see where things go between them.

JellyBean52513

rsalomon said:

I've read that if someone is engaged, married, or living with someone that you should invite their significant other even if you don't know the person. There was an article a couple of weeks ago about top 10 things brides do but shouldn't, and I think this was covered there. At least you have a couple of months to see where things go between them.

Read this too: if someone considers themselves to be in a relationship at the time your invites go out, they should be invited with the person they are in a relationship with. Ring or no ring, co-habitating or not.

mbross3

Yes, of course you should invite her boyfriend! If you haven't sent out invitations, you need to add his name to hers. It's not your place to determine the seriousness of her relationship (or any of your guests' relationships). If any of your guests identify as in a relationship, you need to invite their SO. 

It absolutely doesn't matter how your or your FI feel about this SO or that you haven't met him. If you care about your guests and their happiness and comfort, you won't separate them from their SO. 

lc07

The rule is that after INVITES go out, if a guest acquires a significant other it is not required to accommodate that SO but you should do everything possible to. If you're at the point where STDs have gone out you should still be planning for all single guests to enter into a relationship by the time your invites go out.

Edited: to make sense.

Viczaesar

Yes.

wrigleyville

Yes, you should invite him. 

happywiggle

esb55005 said:

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

Does that mean you are NOT inviting boyfriends/girlfriends that exist for the remainder of your guests, or does it mean that there are no bf/gf at this time?

phira

amrhodes23 said:

esb55005 said:

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

Does that mean you are NOT inviting boyfriends/girlfriends that exist for the remainder of your guests, or does it mean that there are no bf/gf at this time?

Good call!

Couggal12

Yes, if they are in a relationship you need to invite him.

MuppetOverlord

YES.

RebeccaB88

Of course you should.

grumbledore

esb55005 said:

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

Yes, you are required to invite the significant other of every one of your guests as of the time your INVITATIONS go out.

AddieCake

YES.

OnionBreath

I bawled my eyes out last year when I was not invited to my fiance's cousin's wedding. When we were told about it, we thought that if we were invited, it was a good way to introduce me to his family so we weren't meeting people for the first time at our wedding. He was invited. I was not. The entire family took a road trip to Disneyland together, his parents paid for everything. My fiance stayed here with me. His parents offered for me to come and didn't understand why I didn't just wait at the hotel while they went to the wedding.

Please invite this person.

lyndausvi

yes.    

FWIW - We were engaged with a few months of meeting.  

larrygaga

OnionBreath said:

I bawled my eyes out last year when I was not invited to my fiance's cousin's wedding. When we were told about it, we thought that if we were invited, it was a good way to introduce me to his family so we weren't meeting people for the first time at our wedding. He was invited. I was not. The entire family took a road trip to Disneyland together, his parents paid for everything. My fiance stayed here with me. His parents offered for me to come and didn't understand why I didn't just wait at the hotel while they went to the wedding.

Please invite this person.

That is so mean

Jen4948

esb55005 said:

My fiancé's cousin met and started dating someone since us getting engaged. We're under the 6 month mark and have already sent out the save the dates. Just this week I was told by a third party that they will be moving in together "soon". I don't know what soon means. There is only one other guest which a boyfriend is in invited, the other guests' significant others are engaged or married. Their relationship has escalated quickly, she has had "serious" boyfriends before, and save the dates have been sent - am I required to invite her boyfriend to the wedding? I've never met him and my fiancé doesn't like him.

Would you like it if you were invited to a wedding where your FI was not invited because the bride never met him and the groom didn't like him?

I didn't think so.  Invite the boyfriend all the same.

KittyKaty20

OnionBreath said:

I bawled my eyes out last year when I was not invited to my fiance's cousin's wedding. When we were told about it, we thought that if we were invited, it was a good way to introduce me to his family so we weren't meeting people for the first time at our wedding. He was invited. I was not. The entire family took a road trip to Disneyland together, his parents paid for everything. My fiance stayed here with me. His parents offered for me to come and didn't understand why I didn't just wait at the hotel while they went to the wedding.

Please invite this person.

@OnionBreath-I saw your other post about your FMIL...I am perfectly comfortable stating this:

I don't like your FILs. They are not nice people.

grumbledore

missax said:

KittyKaty20 said:

OnionBreath said:

I bawled my eyes out last year when I was not invited to my fiance's cousin's wedding. When we were told about it, we thought that if we were invited, it was a good way to introduce me to his family so we weren't meeting people for the first time at our wedding. He was invited. I was not. The entire family took a road trip to Disneyland together, his parents paid for everything. My fiance stayed here with me. His parents offered for me to come and didn't understand why I didn't just wait at the hotel while they went to the wedding.

Please invite this person.

@OnionBreath-I saw your other post about your FMIL...I am perfectly comfortable stating this:

I don't like your FILs. They are not nice people.

agreed!

Also kudos to your FI for having your back.

Likewise.  Hang in there Onion!

OnionBreath

Aw they are normally fairly good to me. They didn't think I needed to be invited to that wedding and were trying to make it so I could come on the trip..but didn't at all understand why I didn't want to stay in a hotel room by myself for 8 hours or however long.  They arent always all there.

What's happening now..... is totally out of the blue. I don't understand it at all;

esb55005

Thanks everybody.  I will be sure to add him to the list!