Surprise shower

nitabonita1225

Any tips on how to pull off a surprise shower? And on the shower invitation, any cute ideas on how to inform guests it is a surprise? 

AddieCake

Just put surprise shower. Also, FWIW, I would hate a surprise shower. Be sure your bride doesn't mind them before you do that.

nitabonita1225

 She wants a surprise one.  I thought a short poem related to surprise may be cute and didn't know if anyone had any ideas. 

AddieCake

Somehow, I knew a poem would make its way in here.

Alikat9614

I would personally not like to be surprised. I'd probably be underdressed and cranky. Also, be sure that all the guests invited to the surprise shower are also on the wedding invite list. This seems to be a problem that the bride shows up and is surprised... Surprised that people who aren't invited to the wedding are at the shower! I'm not sure the best way to pull it off, though. ETA: spelling.

KatWAG

If she wants a surprise shower, then is it even really a surprise?

LondonLisa

If she wants one then it is no longer a surprise. Is she going to fake a big, overdramatic "surprise" and a "OMG I had no idea!"?! Just host a regular shower.

Also, this is a potential minefield with making sure all shower invitees are going to be invited to the wedding. 

And please, no poems. Unless you want this one:

Come buy her gifts and eat some cake

But shhh,  dont tell her for goodness sake

I hope you don't realise we lied

because the one who really planned this was the bride

She just wanted a surprise even though it was completely fake!

Jen4948

Well first of all, don't try for "cuteness" with a poem.  It tends to rub people the wrong way, because it infantilizes them.  I don't need some trite rhyme to know appreciate what I'm being invited to.

Second, if she actually wants a surprise shower, she's going to see right through all the evasiveness, coyness, and manipulation that go into planning one if everyone you invite suddenly gets vague, noncommittal, etc.  I'm not a fan of surprise parties myself, and the coyness and evasiveness is why.

MyNameIsNot

Skip the poem.  It's annoying and can be confusing.  Just put "surprise shower" on the invitation.  

aehobson

My family and I have managed to pull off two very successful surprise showers for my sister. (Bridal and baby). It absolutely is possible to throw a surprise shower. My biggest tip would be to talk to her about fake plans for a shower. Tell her that you know she would prefer a surprise, but they're just too hard to pull off. Get her guest list, talk about plans for a party a few weeks after the surprise is planned. I can give more advice and tips if you'd like, just PM me.

For the invitation, all you need is to say something along the lines of "You're invited to a surprise shower in honor of Bride"

KatWAG

aehobson said:

My family and I have managed to pull off two very successful surprise showers for my sister. (Bridal and baby). It absolutely is possible to throw a surprise shower. My biggest tip would be to talk to her about fake plans for a shower. Tell her that you know she would prefer a surprise, but they're just too hard to pull off. Get her guest list, talk about plans for a party a few weeks after the surprise is planned. I can give more advice and tips if you'd like, just PM me.

For the invitation, all you need is to say something along the lines of "You're invited to a surprise shower in honor of Bride"

No one is saying it isnt possible. Just that its weird to ask for a surprise shower and then actually expect to be surrpised.

doeydo

I like things that are to the point and despise 'cute' poems.  Some surprise shower invitations to help you figure out wording: 

Megalega14

I would make sure if you're doing a surprise that she is okay with possibly not looking her best, she won't have an outfit, hair done. Etc..

Maggie0829

KatWAG said:

If she wants a surprise shower, then is it even really a surprise?

This.  My friend requested a surprise shower.  And I thought, "well then it really isn't going to be a surprise since she personally requested it."  To me it is the same as when a couple buys an engagement ring together but the girl says "oh but he is going to surprise me with the proposal."  Pretty sure the cat is out of the bag at that point.

Viczaesar

I don't understand the concept of a surprise shower.  Why?

speakeasy14

You don't need a poem, just put somewhere on the invitation "It's a surprise", that way the guests know it is a surprise.  Every wedding I have been in the bride has known she was getting a shower, but just did not know when or at least the details.  

The other things you need to consider is how is the bride getting to the shower without knowing what is going on, and how will she be dressed.  I have been at showers where the bride was already dressed nice because she was told something different (such as a party for a friend whose birthday happened to be the day of the shower). I have also been in showers where the bridal party had a dress and shoes waiting for the bride.

mcelie

You can plan a fake party and give the bride-to be a fake invitation.  That way you'll know she will be well dressed to the occasion. 

 

As for the invitation, you can pretty much add "surprise" to any bridal shower wording. For my sister's bridal shower I used the following:

Let's wrap up our best wishes
and shower the bride with love!
We're throwing
a Surprise Bridal Shower for
{Bride Name}

etc....

OwningAHome1981

AddieCake said:

Just put surprise shower. Also, FWIW, I would hate a surprise shower. Be sure your bride doesn't mind them before you do that.

I would hate it too and requested mine not be a surprise and thankfully it wasnt.

scully13

I hate surprise showers but my mother is obsessed with them, since she had one and all my aunts had one. I expressed to her very clearly several times that I do not want one. I know i am going to be cranky because i am a super planner and want to pick out my outfit, do my hair, etc. Yet I am still getting a surprise shower, because she thinks its fun. -_-

holyguacamole79

Zombie. @emmaaa‌

weddingcactus

I am also curious what the point of a surprise shower is and why people love them? I may be biased since I absolutely do not want a bridal shower, but if I knew I was getting a shower I would want to know when. I would want to be dressed appropriately. I sort of understand surprise birthday parties or surprise "congratulation" type parties when the recipient has no idea anyone has been plotting a party just for them. But if the person wants a shower, they know they're getting a shower. Doesn't seem like much of a surprise.