April 2014 Weddings

I am so dumb.

I am at home hysterical crying right now.
I may not be able to get married next Friday and its all my fault. I had checked the requirements for getting a marriage license in the municipality where we are getting married (old bridge,nj) months ago. I checked to make sure that it was legal for my officiant to perform it in this town.
A few weeks ago I asked FI to get the hours in which the office was open. He didnt but I didnt think anything of it. I planned on going tomorrow morning to get it. Turns out they are closed on Thursdays and Fridays. On top of that you need to make an appointment 30 days in advance.
I am so dumb. I should have checked sooner. I didnt remember reading any of that when I checked months ago.
I emailed the office of the registrar in the hopes that they will be able to see us on Monday or Tuesday the latest. The license isnt good until 72 hours later.
I may be a dumb non-bride having a PPD next friday and my marriage certificate wont say we were married on the day that we are having our now fake ceremony.
I know its my fault but can we send some positive vibes out there that they will hopefully be able to see us Monday?
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Re: I am so dumb.

  • Vivandiere8Vivandiere8 member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I do hope everything works out. But I have to tell you my personal opinion, and that is your wedding wouldn't be a PPD. You didn't set it up because you just wanted a special day that had nothing to do with the actual day you got married and said your vows. That WOULD be the day you said your vows, and you actually would be married... just not legally. You see I don't believe that the government is what declares a marriage valid or invalid. They simply declare it legal or not legal. Just like if you had a business that wasn't registered. IT's still your business, it's just not legal. In this case I am going to say this isn't bad. You will get married to your fiancé next friday. If you really mean everything behind your vows it will be your real wedding. It just won't be legally recognised quite yet. Now if the day you signed the papers you went and had a whole other ceremony and party... that would be a PPD. But you aren't doing that right? Even at a regular wedding the bride and groom don't simultaneously sign the document as they say their vows. They say their vows, they are pronounced husband and wife, and then they go sign the papers later after marching down the isle. Take note. They are pronounced husband and wife. Not "almost husband and wife". they just need to have it legally recognised,and you two will be a bit late on that. That's all. Please don't be sad if it happens that way. You will not be doing anything wrong. You will be married. That will be your real wedding day. I truly believe that.
    image
    cms519
  • It was important for me and my family to have the legal ceremony be the only ceremony. Thats why I was so upset. I didnt want to have a fake ceremony. When my officiant declares us as married, I want us to be actually married. And yes most people dont sign the license until after, but you still need to have declared some sort of vows, said each others names and such to make it legal. I wanted it to be done once and thats it.
    Update:
    The registrar called me this morning. At first she wasnt going to help me. But I spoke to her and she made us an appointment for Monday. The problem is that the license isnt ready until 72 hours later which would be Thursday. They would be closed so I wouldnt be able to pick it up. She will make a special arrangement to have someone open the office so that we can pick up our license.
    She is an amazing woman to do that for us.
    After calmibg down a bit I did some research and had planned on getting our license where I live, having my officiant do the legal part earlier in the day here and then later that day having the ceremony as I was originally supposed to. It would still be fake but at least we would be legally married that day. Thankfully we wont have to do that because of one amazing woman going out of her way for us.
    Thank you guys for letting me vent.
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    cms519Vivandiere8
  • There are very good people in the world and that woman is one of them.

    I'd order some flowers to be delivered to her office the following week as a thank you!

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  • amm88amm88 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I agree with cms519. It is a very nice thing that the woman at the office did for you. I'm so glad you were able to find a solution and everything is ok now.

    Anniversary

  • I will definitely be sending her flowers. That phone call this morning put my mind at ease.
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  • Wow that is ridiculous that their hours are so bad and the turn around so long! Especially for a heavily populated state! Good luck with everything. Even if you don't end up signing the paperwork next Monday, I wouldn't say anything to your guests. A PPD by accident isn't the same as a PPD by choice.

    Good luck and congratulations!
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