Most Awkward Convo You've had...

larrygaga

OMG these stories are so funny. I have another one.

I had a bladder infection and I went to a new doctor. He felt the need to tell me all about where bladder infections came from, even though I've had them before and told him so. He kept beating around the bush and saying things like

"You'll get a bladder infection if you do not dry up enough after a time that makes a healthy young woman moist."

No joke. After awhile of him saying things like this I finally asked, "Sex?". 

Awkward. Just say it, you're a doctor. An old doctor, even. I'm sure there has been much worse you have had to say to people. 

jimandpam87

themuffinman16 said:

 Being put under makes you say the darndest things. Thank God you rarely see anesthesiologists, again.  I once went in for a D and C for endometriosis.  The black anesthesiologist took my arm and inserted a line, he then told me I can have my arm back because my boyfriend might get mad.  I said... "Yeah, he would.... because, you know... once you go black you never go back.  Have you ever heard that?  Once you go black you never go back?"  When I came to I remembered what I said and the anesthesiologist was checking up on me.  I never blushed so hard in my life.  I said I was sorry.  He said for what?  he must hear that stuff from loopy patients all of the time.  How humiliating!

The first time I had to have a D and C and a biopsy (endometriosis is a bitch) I was being wheeled into the OR for surgery.  They switched me to a different gurney and I felt the floor drop away from me.  I screamed... "WHERE DID THE FLOOR GO?!!!"  The doctor said, "Looks like the anesthesia is working."  I said, "What I don't remember the gas mask over my face."  The doctor said that he inserted it intravenously into my line.  I blurted out, "SNEAKY BASTARDS!!!!"  And that was all I remembered. Lol

I literally just died at that quote.

manillabar

this is my new favorite thread lol

I was on a rotation at our university hospital last year and we were in a patient's room with the entire medical team: attending (supervising) physician, residents, and other medical students like me.  The patient was in an accident and almost lost his eye and had to have surgery, and our attending was saying something to the effect of she was glad he wouldn't lose his eye. They were smiling, and so I was smiling too.  The patient's brother, who was also in the room, turns to me and says, "why are you smiling? you think this is funny? is my brother being in the hospital FUNNY?"  And of course, everyone is staring at me now and I'm stammering "well, no... I just ... um..." And then he laughs and says "Haha! I was just kidding! You should've seen your face!!" *awkward*

 So the attending goes back to talking to the patient, but the patient's brother keeps whispering weird things to me. "You're so cute," and "look at those lips," and other weird things.  So I'm standing there, trying to act like I don't hear him and the student behind me is trying not to laugh, lol.  Then we're finally on our way out of the room, and the brother says, "I wouldn't mind seeing you again, rawr!" (yes, he said rawr)... I couldn't get out of there fast enough!

lc07

I love this thread!!!! So funny. I needed this laugh.

When I was applying to rent the home I live in now, they had a no-pets policy. But my mom was going to bring me my childhood cat - Kitty so I was trying to talk the landlord into letting me move in with Kitty. I think the phone was cutting out. I told her that my Mom was going to be traveling out to bring Kitty to me and that Kitty was old and really good and mostly just sleeps a lot.

The landlord said, "Well, you can always put down a rug and a step into the shower". I had that moment where I didn't say anything because I was sure at any second it would make sense. But it didn't. The phone call dropped out. When we reconnected I found out she thought I said my mom was old and slips a lot (the house had all slate flooring in it and a high step into the shower).

OH, and then there was the other day when I announced to everyone in the grocery store that I stole someone's shopping cart. It wasn't really a conversation so much as me making an ass of myself - Crickets chirped and people stifled laughter.

RebeccaB88

 Being put under makes you say the darndest things. Thank God you rarely see anesthesiologists, again.  I once went in for a D and C for endometriosis.  The black anesthesiologist took my arm and inserted a line, he then told me I can have my arm back because my boyfriend might get mad.  I said... "Yeah, he would.... because, you know... once you go black you never go back.  Have you ever heard that?  Once you go black you never go back?"  When I came to I remembered what I said and the anesthesiologist was checking up on me.  I never blushed so hard in my life.  I said I was sorry.  He said for what?  he must hear that stuff from loopy patients all of the time.  How humiliating!

The first time I had to have a D and C and a biopsy (endometriosis is a bitch) I was being wheeled into the OR for surgery.  They switched me to a different gurney and I felt the floor drop away from me.  I screamed... "WHERE DID THE FLOOR GO?!!!"  The doctor said, "Looks like the anesthesia is working."  I said, "What I don't remember the gas mask over my face."  The doctor said that he inserted it intravenously into my line.  I blurted out, "SNEAKY BASTARDS!!!!"  And that was all I remembered. Lol

Oh, hell. I so know this. I've had many, many, MANY surgeries in my life (you don't want to know how many...I don't even know how many anymore...) and I've just started saying when they wheel me in, that I'm not responsible for what I say after they start the Michael Jackson Juice. Apparently last time I told the anesthesiology resident that the big round OR lights looked like flying saucers. And I know I once asked the scrub nurse for a cheeseburger.

selenathegreat

1. I look younger than I am. I know this and don't actually need to be reminded of it all the time, but I am. "I thought you were a LITTLE GIRL!" "You look like a high schooler!" "Is this (my friend who's my age) your aunt?" I never know how to reply. "Well, you look like you have a foot in the grave" is probably inappropriate.

2. My FFIL's girlfriend, who he has decided shouldn't come to the wedding to avoid drama with my FMIL (kind of sad, but I feel like it's his decision) was over last week and only wanted to talk wedding. SO awkward. I felt awful.

FutureMrsN3312

I had my wisdom teeth out Valentines Day 2013.  Apparently I woke up and announced to everyone in the oral surgeons office that my FI had a "big D*^$".  My mom, FI, surgeon, and a few nurses were all there.  I found out several days later when FI and mom would look at me and laugh.  I finally got them to tell me what was so funny.  I have no recollection of it.

I was so embarrassed I didn't even schedule I recheck.  I went to my dentist instead.

Emmy1493

Hahahah These stories are so funny!! 

Definitely made my day go by faster . Happy Easter by the way!!

chkmeowt

KatWAG said:

When someone asked me how far along I was, when I wasnt even pregnant (or trying) yet. That  got awkward fast.

I get this at least once a week. WTF.  Thanks jagoff. I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat.

rajahmd

I once jokingly told my aunt "I'm taking a page for your book today" via text. I was having a glass of wine around mid-day, day drinking as she calls it (and does frequently). 

Her response was "oh good for getting your eyebrows waxed". She basically assumed it was about my eyebrows when I've never had conversation with her about them. I was not a happy camper. I sent back a very blunt "no. I'm day drinking" text. 

MaryGraceRich

I get the pregnant comment all the time. I usually turn to the person and tell them straight up that Im not pregnant just fat.
One day I was travelling home from work on the train. There was standing room only. I must have rubbed my stomach or did something that made this guy on the train think I was pregnant. He got up and gave me his seat. I took it. I figured if he was going to make an assumption I would take him up on his offer. There was no conversation at all. He simply got up and motioned for me to sit down on this very crowded train. I secretly hope that he was just a nice guy but I am pretty sure he thought I was pregnant.

pinkshorts27

Most awkward conversation happened with my mother. My mom gave me the sex talk at about 14 and put me on birth control at 16 (well made sure I had access to it if I wanted it). But my family isn't very open about those sort of things. It just isn't talked about, so aside from my yearly appointment to the doctor, I never talked to my parents about sex.

One summer I went to a different state for a summer internship. It was a two day drive so my mom drove me. I unpacked when I got there and when my mom went to put away my suitcase, apparently a condom fell out (when packing I came across an unopened condom that had fallen behind my bed. I meant to throw it away because I had no clue if it was damaged-normally store them safely in a box). She walked over to me and handed it to me saying "well, usually the guy stores these". I don't think I could have turned redder. I didn't know what to say. That was completely awkward. I don't generally get awkward around strangers, just because it is likely that I won't see them again. 

arrippa

All I can say about this subject is never say on an elevator, while holding a banana is the joke, " is that a banana in my pocket or am I happy to see you". I still cringe when I think about it.

Emmy1493

debmonn said:

KatWAG said:

When someone asked me how far along I was, when I wasnt even pregnant (or trying) yet. That  got awkward fast.

I get this at least once a week. WTF.  Thanks jagoff. I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat.

Anytime I eat something big, or have a lot to eat, I have a food baby. So sometimes my tummy will look bigger. FI likes to ask, "Are you okay? Your not pregnant, are you..?" No, dear. I have a food baby. But thanks for inadvertently saying I look bigger lol.