Bridesmaid Woes and +1

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

Maggie0829

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

How locked up tight was that base?  I work occasionally on a military base near where I live.  A lot of people have weddings on post all the time.  I have also helped plan events on post.  For guests to get in the most that the hosts had to do was provide a list of names of each person that was attending to the guard post.  Then as people came through they showed their idea and the guards would check the list.  But that is it.  No need to come 2.5 hours early.  And car checks are usually done at random up here.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

I think that with the wedding HGF was talking about the security was shitty to have to deal with and the wedding overall was shitty, which just makes everything ten times shittier.

I agree that there are some legal things that need to be taken into account.  But I don't know about you but when I did my guest list I didn't ask my friends if they possibly have a restraining order out on anyone just in case.  I figure that if they thought anything were to be an issue in regards to who we may or may not invite they would have spoken up because they are our friends. But asking about their legal issues is just going a bit far in my book.  If they want to volunteer the information then that is fine, but to out right ask is a bit crazy to me.

And if by chance we did invite someone or someone brought someone that had a restraining order against them by another invitee I would have had my DOC handle the situation quietly and we would have asked the person who was named on the restraining order to leave and apologize about the situation.

But then again, if I had foreseen any such drama from a handful of my potential guests or family I would have just eloped.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

I think that with the wedding HGF was talking about the security was shitty to have to deal with and the wedding overall was shitty, which just makes everything ten times shittier.

I agree that there are some legal things that need to be taken into account.  But I don't know about you but when I did my guest list I didn't ask my friends if they possibly have a restraining order out on anyone just in case.  I figure that if they thought anything were to be an issue in regards to who we may or may not invite they would have spoken up because they are our friends. But asking about their legal issues is just going a bit far in my book.  If they want to volunteer the information then that is fine, but to out right ask is a bit crazy to me.

And if by chance we did invite someone or someone brought someone that had a restraining order against them by another invitee I would have had my DOC handle the situation quietly and we would have asked the person who was named on the restraining order to leave and apologize about the situation.

But then again, if I had foreseen any such drama from a handful of my potential guests or family I would have just eloped.

I'm not suggesting asking everyone in advance about legal issues. Often they would be matters already known to the couple anyway.  But those are reasons why they may need guests to tell them in advance who they plan to bring-so the situation can be dealt with even before there is any need for a DOC to step in.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

I think that with the wedding HGF was talking about the security was shitty to have to deal with and the wedding overall was shitty, which just makes everything ten times shittier.

I agree that there are some legal things that need to be taken into account.  But I don't know about you but when I did my guest list I didn't ask my friends if they possibly have a restraining order out on anyone just in case.  I figure that if they thought anything were to be an issue in regards to who we may or may not invite they would have spoken up because they are our friends. But asking about their legal issues is just going a bit far in my book.  If they want to volunteer the information then that is fine, but to out right ask is a bit crazy to me.

And if by chance we did invite someone or someone brought someone that had a restraining order against them by another invitee I would have had my DOC handle the situation quietly and we would have asked the person who was named on the restraining order to leave and apologize about the situation.

But then again, if I had foreseen any such drama from a handful of my potential guests or family I would have just eloped.

I'm not suggesting asking everyone in advance about legal issues; usually they would be matters already known to the couple anyway.  But those are reasons why they may need guests to tell them in advance who they plan to bring-so the situation can be dealt with even before there is any need for a DOC to step in.

I get it but I still don't think it is an issue if they aren't informed before hand.  Things always happen at weddings that aren't planned and are dealt with just fine.  Crap happens and even if a guest says they will bring X to the wedding they may just show up with Y and not even tell you (a few of my guests did this). So I get wanting to know before hand but there also comes a time when you just have to say to yourself "I can't stress about this anymore.  I will deal with whatever happens that day."

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

I think that with the wedding HGF was talking about the security was shitty to have to deal with and the wedding overall was shitty, which just makes everything ten times shittier.

I agree that there are some legal things that need to be taken into account.  But I don't know about you but when I did my guest list I didn't ask my friends if they possibly have a restraining order out on anyone just in case.  I figure that if they thought anything were to be an issue in regards to who we may or may not invite they would have spoken up because they are our friends. But asking about their legal issues is just going a bit far in my book.  If they want to volunteer the information then that is fine, but to out right ask is a bit crazy to me.

And if by chance we did invite someone or someone brought someone that had a restraining order against them by another invitee I would have had my DOC handle the situation quietly and we would have asked the person who was named on the restraining order to leave and apologize about the situation.

But then again, if I had foreseen any such drama from a handful of my potential guests or family I would have just eloped.

I'm not suggesting asking everyone in advance about legal issues; usually they would be matters already known to the couple anyway.  But those are reasons why they may need guests to tell them in advance who they plan to bring-so the situation can be dealt with even before there is any need for a DOC to step in.

I get it but I still don't think it is an issue if they aren't informed before hand.  Things always happen at weddings that aren't planned and are dealt with just fine.  Crap happens and even if a guest says they will bring X to the wedding they may just show up with Y and not even tell you (a few of my guests did this). So I get wanting to know before hand but there also comes a time when you just have to say to yourself "I can't stress about this anymore.  I will deal with whatever happens that day."

You don't think it's an issue, I do.  Why don't we agree to disagree on this rather than spending more time going round in a circular argument when we are not going to convince each other on this?

Maggie0829

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

I think that with the wedding HGF was talking about the security was shitty to have to deal with and the wedding overall was shitty, which just makes everything ten times shittier.

I agree that there are some legal things that need to be taken into account.  But I don't know about you but when I did my guest list I didn't ask my friends if they possibly have a restraining order out on anyone just in case.  I figure that if they thought anything were to be an issue in regards to who we may or may not invite they would have spoken up because they are our friends. But asking about their legal issues is just going a bit far in my book.  If they want to volunteer the information then that is fine, but to out right ask is a bit crazy to me.

And if by chance we did invite someone or someone brought someone that had a restraining order against them by another invitee I would have had my DOC handle the situation quietly and we would have asked the person who was named on the restraining order to leave and apologize about the situation.

But then again, if I had foreseen any such drama from a handful of my potential guests or family I would have just eloped.

I'm not suggesting asking everyone in advance about legal issues; usually they would be matters already known to the couple anyway.  But those are reasons why they may need guests to tell them in advance who they plan to bring-so the situation can be dealt with even before there is any need for a DOC to step in.

I get it but I still don't think it is an issue if they aren't informed before hand.  Things always happen at weddings that aren't planned and are dealt with just fine.  Crap happens and even if a guest says they will bring X to the wedding they may just show up with Y and not even tell you (a few of my guests did this). So I get wanting to know before hand but there also comes a time when you just have to say to yourself "I can't stress about this anymore.  I will deal with whatever happens that day."

You don't think it's an issue, I do.  Why don't we agree to disagree on this rather than spending more time going round in a circular argument when we are not going to convince each other on this?

But I am not just talking to you I am stating my opinion for any lurkers or others reading this who may wonder if this is something that they should be worried about. They may be like me who is a bit more laid back when it comes to things like this and would rather assume that their friends and family aren't bringing anyone inappropriate to their wedding. Or they may have your opinion if they are the type to be a bit more interested in the backgrounds of people's dates.

[Deleted User]

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I attended a wedding once where we had to provide our DL numbers (active military base) and then had to carry our photo IDs (DLs) with us to the wedding so we could be signed in/waived in/etc. No one not on the list -- not even an 'and guest' of a guest -- was allowed in, regardless.

We also had to be there 2.5 hours early for the wedding, to allow enough time for our IDs to be checked and our vehicles to be inspected and us to be escorted (in groups) from the entrance to the building where the wedding was being held.

It was kind of a cluster, and for all that, the wedding was pretty shitty. 

But I take it that the security issues were not what made the wedding shitty?

But having your wedding on a military base means that safety/security measures have to be taken since it is the rules of the base.  Just wanting to know the background of the plus ones because you may think someone will bring a criminal is just micromanaging and thinking bad about your guests.

But then again if one has a friend who would not think twice about bringing criminals as their date then that person should really reconsider that friendship.

I'm not arguing about the need for security on a military base.  I was asking @HisGirlFriday if the security was the source of shittiness of that wedding, or if the shittiness derived from some other cause.

I agree about the bolded.  But there actually are situations, like stalking and restraining orders, that would make it necessary to not have a "bring a guest of your choice" situation, or at least, not a situation where the identity of the guest you are planning to bring doesn't have to be determined in advance.  In that instance, someone could conceivably bring someone as their date who another guest can't be around.  And even if there's no legal issue involved, sometimes it may just be necessary to know who that date is so the other guest can be given a heads-up.  While we'd all like to think that adults can always be counted on to behave like adults, the real world doesn't work like that.

I think that with the wedding HGF was talking about the security was shitty to have to deal with and the wedding overall was shitty, which just makes everything ten times shittier.

I agree that there are some legal things that need to be taken into account.  But I don't know about you but when I did my guest list I didn't ask my friends if they possibly have a restraining order out on anyone just in case.  I figure that if they thought anything were to be an issue in regards to who we may or may not invite they would have spoken up because they are our friends. But asking about their legal issues is just going a bit far in my book.  If they want to volunteer the information then that is fine, but to out right ask is a bit crazy to me.

And if by chance we did invite someone or someone brought someone that had a restraining order against them by another invitee I would have had my DOC handle the situation quietly and we would have asked the person who was named on the restraining order to leave and apologize about the situation.

But then again, if I had foreseen any such drama from a handful of my potential guests or family I would have just eloped.

I'm not suggesting asking everyone in advance about legal issues; usually they would be matters already known to the couple anyway.  But those are reasons why they may need guests to tell them in advance who they plan to bring-so the situation can be dealt with even before there is any need for a DOC to step in.

I get it but I still don't think it is an issue if they aren't informed before hand.  Things always happen at weddings that aren't planned and are dealt with just fine.  Crap happens and even if a guest says they will bring X to the wedding they may just show up with Y and not even tell you (a few of my guests did this). So I get wanting to know before hand but there also comes a time when you just have to say to yourself "I can't stress about this anymore.  I will deal with whatever happens that day."

You don't think it's an issue, I do.  Why don't we agree to disagree on this rather than spending more time going round in a circular argument when we are not going to convince each other on this?

But I am not just talking to you I am stating my opinion for any lurkers or others reading this who may wonder if this is something that they should be worried about. They may be like me who is a bit more laid back when it comes to things like this and would rather assume that their friends and family aren't bringing anyone inappropriate to their wedding. Or they may have your opinion if they are the type to be a bit more interested in the backgrounds of people's dates.

I just thought it would be rude to have Guest written on a little card instead of their name. If it's not rude, then I don't care to know who she is bringing. But again, there was a little bit o drama leading up to this event which is why I was curios to know who she was bringing (at one point, I felt like she would remove herself from the WP). Hopefully she won't and we can be just as close as before and have a grand ol' time.

Maggie0829

JMVA2014 said:

I just thought it would be rude to have Guest written on a little card instead of their name. If it's not rude, then I don't care to know who she is bringing. But again, there was a little bit o drama leading up to this event which is why I was curios to know who she was bringing (at one point, I felt like she would remove herself from the WP). Hopefully she won't and we can be just as close as before and have a grand ol' time.

No it is not rude.  If you don't know the name then you don't know the name.  Not much you can do about that.

tammym1001

@JMVA2014 - We invited one person with "and guest". We didn't know who to put on the invite because he dates around and FI said when we sent out the invites that his friend wouldn't know who he was going to bring at that time anyways. He RSVP'd with "Joe Smith and Guest" so we still didn't know who he was bringing. My wedding is in a little over 3 weeks and he still doesn't know who he's bringing. His escort card will say "Joe Smith and Guest". I don't care and if him or his date cares, it's his damn fault because he can't give me an answer. You can only do so much for your guests without their cooperation.

HisGirlFriday13

@Jenn4948 and @maggie0829:

The wedding was shitty for a bunch of reasons, including (but not least because of) the security.

I used to cover a local military base when i was a reporter, and the security for that was nowhere NEAR as tight as this base. I have NO idea why it was locked up so tight (summer 2010 wedding; no security threats that I was aware of.)

But the arriving early was a PITA; having to wait, in an outdoor area with little shade until our group was 'large enough' to warrant an escort to the building for the wedding was a PITA; the car checks were a PITA, etc.

That was shitty enough. Then the bride was late, the ceremony was full of inside jokes and levity ('I vow never to tell anyone you fart in your sleep') and inappropriate remarks (as in, the pastor alluded strongly to the couple's virginity and purity for the wedding night, and they were not virgins and everybody knew it); couples were split up at the reception; we had to play GAMES to get dismissed from our tables for the buffet food, which was cold when we got there; and it was a cash bar.

Probably my least favourite wedding ever, actually.

Jen4948

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@Jenn4948 and @maggie0829: The wedding was shitty for a bunch of reasons, including (but not least because of) the security. I used to cover a local military base when i was a reporter, and the security for that was nowhere NEAR as tight as this base. I have NO idea why it was locked up so tight (summer 2010 wedding; no security threats that I was aware of.) But the arriving early was a PITA; having to wait, in an outdoor area with little shade until our group was 'large enough' to warrant an escort to the building for the wedding was a PITA; the car checks were a PITA, etc. That was shitty enough. Then the bride was late, the ceremony was full of inside jokes and levity ('I vow never to tell anyone you fart in your sleep') and inappropriate remarks (as in, the pastor alluded strongly to the couple's virginity and purity for the wedding night, and they were not virgins and everybody knew it); couples were split up at the reception; we had to play GAMES to get dismissed from our tables for the buffet food, which was cold when we got there; and it was a cash bar. Probably my least favourite wedding ever, actually.

Don't blame you for that.  Probably everyone else's too (except the couple).

HisGirlFriday13

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@Jenn4948 and @maggie0829: The wedding was shitty for a bunch of reasons, including (but not least because of) the security. I used to cover a local military base when i was a reporter, and the security for that was nowhere NEAR as tight as this base. I have NO idea why it was locked up so tight (summer 2010 wedding; no security threats that I was aware of.) But the arriving early was a PITA; having to wait, in an outdoor area with little shade until our group was 'large enough' to warrant an escort to the building for the wedding was a PITA; the car checks were a PITA, etc. That was shitty enough. Then the bride was late, the ceremony was full of inside jokes and levity ('I vow never to tell anyone you fart in your sleep') and inappropriate remarks (as in, the pastor alluded strongly to the couple's virginity and purity for the wedding night, and they were not virgins and everybody knew it); couples were split up at the reception; we had to play GAMES to get dismissed from our tables for the buffet food, which was cold when we got there; and it was a cash bar. Probably my least favourite wedding ever, actually.

Don't blame you for that.  Probably everyone else's too (except the couple).

They were very much speshul snowflakes about their wedding -- their whole mentality was, 'Well, if our guests are truly Christians, they'll love like Christ, and they'll forgive any faux pas we make, and if you really love us, you'll accept that it's OUR DAY, and you won't judge us, because that's un-Christian.'

Yeah, OK. I never got a thank-you note, either.

PrettyGirlLost

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@Jenn4948 and @maggie0829: The wedding was shitty for a bunch of reasons, including (but not least because of) the security. I used to cover a local military base when i was a reporter, and the security for that was nowhere NEAR as tight as this base. I have NO idea why it was locked up so tight (summer 2010 wedding; no security threats that I was aware of.) But the arriving early was a PITA; having to wait, in an outdoor area with little shade until our group was 'large enough' to warrant an escort to the building for the wedding was a PITA; the car checks were a PITA, etc. That was shitty enough. Then the bride was late, the ceremony was full of inside jokes and levity ('I vow never to tell anyone you fart in your sleep') and inappropriate remarks (as in, the pastor alluded strongly to the couple's virginity and purity for the wedding night, and they were not virgins and everybody knew it); couples were split up at the reception; we had to play GAMES to get dismissed from our tables for the buffet food, which was cold when we got there; and it was a cash bar. Probably my least favourite wedding ever, actually.

Don't blame you for that.  Probably everyone else's too (except the couple).

They were very much speshul snowflakes about their wedding -- their whole mentality was, 'Well, if our guests are truly Christians, they'll love like Christ, and they'll forgive any faux pas we make, and if you really love us, you'll accept that it's OUR DAY, and you won't judge us, because that's un-Christian.'

Yeah, OK. I never got a thank-you note, either.

I love when people use their religious beliefs as a free- pass to just act like assholes- NOT!

In Buddhism, intent is everything. . . so this shit wouldn't fly, lol!  Pretty sure they didn't fool Jesus, either.

HisGirlFriday13

PrettyGirlLost said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@Jenn4948 and @maggie0829: The wedding was shitty for a bunch of reasons, including (but not least because of) the security. I used to cover a local military base when i was a reporter, and the security for that was nowhere NEAR as tight as this base. I have NO idea why it was locked up so tight (summer 2010 wedding; no security threats that I was aware of.) But the arriving early was a PITA; having to wait, in an outdoor area with little shade until our group was 'large enough' to warrant an escort to the building for the wedding was a PITA; the car checks were a PITA, etc. That was shitty enough. Then the bride was late, the ceremony was full of inside jokes and levity ('I vow never to tell anyone you fart in your sleep') and inappropriate remarks (as in, the pastor alluded strongly to the couple's virginity and purity for the wedding night, and they were not virgins and everybody knew it); couples were split up at the reception; we had to play GAMES to get dismissed from our tables for the buffet food, which was cold when we got there; and it was a cash bar. Probably my least favourite wedding ever, actually.

Don't blame you for that.  Probably everyone else's too (except the couple).

They were very much speshul snowflakes about their wedding -- their whole mentality was, 'Well, if our guests are truly Christians, they'll love like Christ, and they'll forgive any faux pas we make, and if you really love us, you'll accept that it's OUR DAY, and you won't judge us, because that's un-Christian.'

Yeah, OK. I never got a thank-you note, either.

I love when people use their religious beliefs as a free- pass to just act like assholes- NOT!

In Buddhism, intent is everything. . . so this shit wouldn't fly, lol!  Pretty sure they didn't fool Jesus, either.

They were college friends of my then-BF, and he sided with them, and called me 'judgemental and picky' for wanting to be seated at a table with him (the only other person I knew at the wedding, obtw), and also said I needed 'loosen up and be more social.'

We broke up a week later.

PrettyGirlLost

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Jen4948 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@Jenn4948 and @maggie0829: The wedding was shitty for a bunch of reasons, including (but not least because of) the security. I used to cover a local military base when i was a reporter, and the security for that was nowhere NEAR as tight as this base. I have NO idea why it was locked up so tight (summer 2010 wedding; no security threats that I was aware of.) But the arriving early was a PITA; having to wait, in an outdoor area with little shade until our group was 'large enough' to warrant an escort to the building for the wedding was a PITA; the car checks were a PITA, etc. That was shitty enough. Then the bride was late, the ceremony was full of inside jokes and levity ('I vow never to tell anyone you fart in your sleep') and inappropriate remarks (as in, the pastor alluded strongly to the couple's virginity and purity for the wedding night, and they were not virgins and everybody knew it); couples were split up at the reception; we had to play GAMES to get dismissed from our tables for the buffet food, which was cold when we got there; and it was a cash bar. Probably my least favourite wedding ever, actually.

Don't blame you for that.  Probably everyone else's too (except the couple).

They were very much speshul snowflakes about their wedding -- their whole mentality was, 'Well, if our guests are truly Christians, they'll love like Christ, and they'll forgive any faux pas we make, and if you really love us, you'll accept that it's OUR DAY, and you won't judge us, because that's un-Christian.'

Yeah, OK. I never got a thank-you note, either.

I love when people use their religious beliefs as a free- pass to just act like assholes- NOT!

In Buddhism, intent is everything. . . so this shit wouldn't fly, lol!  Pretty sure they didn't fool Jesus, either.

They were college friends of my then-BF, and he sided with them, and called me 'judgemental and picky' for wanting to be seated at a table with him (the only other person I knew at the wedding, obtw), and also said I needed 'loosen up and be more social.'

We broke up a week later.

Good!  What a jerkface!

HisGirlFriday13

@PrettyGirlLost -- YGPM.