Another case for assigned tables

JCbride2015

Fi and I went to a formal business event on Thursday night.  The keynote speaker was the VP of the ECJ-- basically he's like a Supreme Court Justice but for Europe.  Extremely important guy.

After the mingling portion, we were asked to sit down.  No tables or seats were assigned.  Shortly after we sat, this very kind middle-aged woman with an accent comes over to our table and asks if she can join us.  We say "of course!" and start talking to her.

Well, turns out she is the wife of the keynote speaker!  When she went to sit down, too many professors and other guests crowded around the keynote speaker and she was the odd one out left without a chair.  This poor woman.  

Assigned seats I could take or leave, but every time a bride/groom says people will just "figure it out" without even assigned tables, there is bound to be trouble.  You DO NOT want the wife of your keynote speaker to be left without a chair at her husband's table!  Eeesh.

larrygaga

I went to a wedding where they didn't assign places, and random collage friends took the tables closest to the wedding table. The parents had to sit in the back. I'll be assigning seats for my wedding and everyone else can just deal with it. 

I personally like being told where to go when I go to events like that. 

wrigleyville

I've been to too many family weddings without assigned seats/tables. What happens is 14 people will end up crowded around a 10-round because they all want to sit and chat, and then you have a table with four people who end up feeling left out and then end up joining other rounds. It's awkward, uncomfortable, and chaotic.

AddieCake

Yep. Assigned tables FTW! I was so glad we took the time to do that.

Jen4948

Assigned tables every time.  I hate being told to look for a seat and then finding out that all the empty seats have been "reserved" because too many people want to sit together.

SP29

I am all for assigned tables. 

I went to a wedding once that wasn't assigned. DH and I didn't know anyone but the B&G and our friends who were also there. The group of us friends left 2 people out to sit at another table. The other tables were full of family and other friends of the B&G we didn't know (no one else appeared to be "left out"). So DH and I grabbed a plate and chairs from another table to join our friends' table.

We technically shouldn't have done that- but we would have been the ones left out. However, if the tables had been assigned the "friends" might have been split up but at least seated in a way that one couple wasn't seated separately with randoms- or at least seated with other friends in a similar age group. 

To the OP- that is terrible! However, I also think "hey VIP dude, why weren't you sticking up for your wife and saying, "Excuse me, but this seat beside me is for my wife"?". 

cmclaire

Assigned tables, all day every day when it comes to formal events!  If I want to pick a seat, I'll go to Starbucks.

Aray82

Yes yes yes. Saves your guest so much unnecessary stress when no one has to worry about whether they'll get to sit together/ sit with folks they know.

melbenso

We are going to do assigned tables.  And we may do assigned seats for our King's Table, but that's just because a couple of our bridal party have children and we want to make sure that the families get to sit together, which gets a little more confusing at a table seating 17 than one seating 8.

JoanE2012

JCBride2014 said:

Fi and I went to a formal business event on Thursday night.  The keynote speaker was the VP of the ECJ-- basically he's like a Supreme Court Justice but for Europe.  Extremely important guy.

After the mingling portion, we were asked to sit down.  No tables or seats were assigned.  Shortly after we sat, this very kind middle-aged woman with an accent comes over to our table and asks if she can join us.  We say "of course!" and start talking to her.

Well, turns out she is the wife of the keynote speaker!  When she went to sit down, too many professors and other guests crowded around the keynote speaker and she was the odd one out left without a chair.  This poor woman.  

Assigned seats I could take or leave, but every time a bride/groom says people will just "figure it out" without even assigned tables, there is bound to be trouble.  You DO NOT want the wife of your keynote speaker to be left without a chair at her husband's table!  Eeesh.

OMG, that's awful!  I'm a firm believer in assigned tables.

That said, if I were her, I'd be a little ticked off that my DH didn't stand up for me and say something like, "Oh, my wife will be sitting here with me, do you mind if we chat later?" or, if that weren't possible, find another table.

sarals24

I dunno...I went to a wedding last weekend where we had assigned seats and we had to sit for two and a half hours with 6 people we didn't know. We knew other people at the wedding, but weren't seated with them, for some reason. It was pretty bad. 

pinkshorts27

sarals24 said:

I dunno...I went to a wedding last weekend where we had assigned seats and we had to sit for two and a half hours with 6 people we didn't know. We knew other people at the wedding, but weren't seated with them, for some reason. It was pretty bad. 

That is bad on the hosts, not on assigned tables themselves.

jdluvr06

JCBride2014 said:

Fi and I went to a formal business event on Thursday night.  The keynote speaker was the VP of the ECJ-- basically he's like a Supreme Court Justice but for Europe.  Extremely important guy.

After the mingling portion, we were asked to sit down.  No tables or seats were assigned.  Shortly after we sat, this very kind middle-aged woman with an accent comes over to our table and asks if she can join us.  We say "of course!" and start talking to her.

Well, turns out she is the wife of the keynote speaker!  When she went to sit down, too many professors and other guests crowded around the keynote speaker and she was the odd one out left without a chair.  This poor woman.  

Assigned seats I could take or leave, but every time a bride/groom says people will just "figure it out" without even assigned tables, there is bound to be trouble.  You DO NOT want the wife of your keynote speaker to be left without a chair at her husband's table!  Eeesh.

That is awful. I don't necessarily like assigned tables because I tend to avoid all formal events but I can see why they would be needed at something like that. In my group we have a more than 100 people you assign tables, less than 100 you don't.

kaegurl85

We went to a wedding once where we ended up sitting with the grandparents of the bride. There also wasn't enough tables for all the guests. It was awkward. 

Jen4948

kaegurl85 said:

We went to a wedding once where we ended up sitting with the grandparents of the bride. There also wasn't enough tables for all the guests. It was awkward. 

But these are not arguments for not assigning tables...just for doing it right.

countrygirl061513

I think its a definite know your crowd type of thing. My family and most of our guests would have thought we were extremely rude by assigning tables. Hell some of my family thought I was "showing off" by serving dinner at a 6pm reception. But we had at least 3 extra tables and there were no issues. There was also a total of only 60ish people at our wedding. So we ended up with 4 or 5 empty tables. But if your guests are used to assigned tables, I think its best that you do use them.

indianaalum

countrygirl061513 said:

I think its a definite know your crowd type of thing. My family and most of our guests would have thought we were extremely rude by assigning tables. Hell some of my family thought I was "showing off" by serving dinner at a 6pm reception. But we had at least 3 extra tables and there were no issues. There was also a total of only 60ish people at our wedding. So we ended up with 4 or 5 empty tables. But if your guests are used to assigned tables, I think its best that you do use them.

so you paid for centerpieces for 4 or 5 tables that never got used, so you probably wasted money in the end.

Assigned tables are still the best

JCbride2015

indianaalum said:

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countrygirl061513 said:

I think its a definite know your crowd type of thing. My family and most of our guests would have thought we were extremely rude by assigning tables. Hell some of my family thought I was "showing off" by serving dinner at a 6pm reception. But we had at least 3 extra tables and there were no issues. There was also a total of only 60ish people at our wedding. So we ended up with 4 or 5 empty tables. But if your guests are used to assigned tables, I think its best that you do use them.

so you paid for centerpieces for 4 or 5 tables that never got used, so you probably wasted money in the end.

Assigned tables are still the best

One good point to take from this though, is that if you really don't want to assign tables, you're going to need a lot of extra tables with extra seats.  People don't always fit neatly into 8- or 10-rounds, so leaving that buffer space is necessary if you want to do it that way.

And yeah, still seems like the time of assigning tables is worth it to save on the extra tables and centerpieces.  But at least Countrygirl wound up with seats for everyone.

countrygirl061513

Our centerpieces were made from things we already had so money wasn't an issue. In total I probably spent around $2.50 per centerpiece, and $6 on the tablecloth rental.But not offending my family or my in laws meant more to me than an extra few centerpieces. I know that for the majority of the country people prefer assigned tables. But for the majority of my guests they would have been very upset for me to tell them where to sit, so I opted for renting 3 or 4 extra tablecloths and making a few more centerpieces. We also had a buffet dinner so there were no servers to be concerned with.

thesummersky

I'm so glad I read this. I was previously planning on not having assigned seating or tables (thinking that doing so was micromanaging), but I would feel terrible if a couple or family got separated! Definitely doing assigned tables now.

Lowell14

We have been asked by the hotel to do a seating chart. We have a small group of family and friends with dietary requirements and the hotel will be making specified meals for them.

DaisyMaeMommy

I will always agree with having assigned tables!

My cousin did "Reserved Tables" at her wedding, but let the rest of the guests just sit where ever. Random friends and their families and/or +1's sat at some of the reserved tables, so the family ended up sitting way in the back of the venue, in a separated room!

We missed our on the first dance, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, etc etc. The only thing we didn't miss was when they cut the cake.

Inkdancer

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I will always agree with having assigned tables!

My cousin did "Reserved Tables" at her wedding, but let the rest of the guests just sit where ever. Random friends and their families and/or +1's sat at some of the reserved tables, so the family ended up sitting way in the back of the venue, in a separated room!

We missed our on the first dance, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, etc etc. The only thing we didn't miss was when they cut the cake.

My question would be why your cousin was willing to put anyone in a separated room. Any guest who sat there would feel like a second-class guest, so of course nobody wanted to sit there!

DaisyMaeMommy

Inkdancer said:

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My question would be why your cousin was willing to put anyone in a separated room. Any guest who sat there would feel like a second-class guest, so of course nobody wanted to sit there!

It wasn't a completely separated room, it was just the layout of the venue. They had a front room with a bar, some tables, and a small area for the DJ, and then a second larger room off of that with another large bar/kitchen area and more tables.

I hated the layout, but her venue was very pretty and was in the process of being renovated in the room they originally needed due to an accident, or so I was told. Thankfully, no of her friends stayed sitting down for too long because it was super nice outside, so people were able to get up and move around enough.

I still wish I would've seen their first dance! :-/

Simply Fated

I remember awhile back someone telling us what happened at a wedding that had assigned tables, but the guests weren't used to it. The guests ended up just sitting where ever they wanted, anyway.

So, while I definitely agree that it can depend on what your guests are used to, I prefer assigned tables.


I've only been to one event with assigned seats (not just tables) and I really appreciated it in that instance. I give credit to the hostess for giving our seats thought.