Oh My Goodness, Fi... Now FMIL too.

Sugargirl1019

So we have FIs friends' wedding coming up, and this morning I asked if he had done the email RSVP yet. The RSVP date is less than a week and a half away. He responds no, and the conversation follows as this:

FI: I haven't RSVPd because my parents haven't gotten an invitation yet. I am going to ask her if it's okay if I add my parents onto the RSVP with me.

(Its a girl from their church whom they are very close to the whole family).

Me: FI, it is rude to do that!
FI: I knew you were going to say that, but it's my PARENTS.
Me: If they wanted to invite your parents, they would have sent them an invitation. It is so rude to ask to include people. Would you want our guests to RSVP with so and so because they felt we were supposed to invite them?

Now he's grumbling about his parents not being invited apparently. /facepam

Angusaur

Tell him to get over it. Maybe the friend feels closer to you than them and they can't accomodate everyone. It's a good thing you're there to correct him, because if someone asked me that question I'd be pretty mad.

Jen4948

I agree with @Angusaur: tell your FI to get over it and to accept that he is not entitled to ask for an invitation for his parents to someone else's event.  In fact, if that's his expectation, he has some major growing up to do.

I'd be willing to bet, unfortunately, that if the situation were reversed he would be totally okay with all his friends demanding that their parents be invited to his event.

cmclaire

Angusaur said:

Tell him to get over it. Maybe the friend feels closer to you than them and they can't accomodate everyone. It's a good thing you're there to correct him, because if someone asked me that question I'd be pretty mad.

This.  So much.

AddieCake

FFS. Who cares if it's his parents? They weren't fucking invited!

Sugargirl1019

So FMIL sent a text saying "her website says the date and location but not the time. What time is her ceremony? Or are you gonna make me wait til she makes an announcement in the church bulletin?"

I'm like FI, did you send her the website link? No he didn't, apparently. Idk where she got it. But basically she is really upset because this is the first wedding from the church that isn't an "open invite". Hence the problem we had before with her trying to invite the entire church. I told FI, this is not your problem. I know she's upset but you have nothing to say to her. They have to have a guest count for their hosted reception. Send her this picture of our flower girl trying on her dress to bean dip her.

And then she texts back after 5 minutes of no response "fine I guess I will stay home since I was not invited".

Yes. Yes you will. Sorry bout cha.

Jen4948

Sugargirl1019 said:

So FMIL sent a text saying "her website says the date and location but not the time. What time is her ceremony? Or are you gonna make me wait til she makes an announcement in the church bulletin?" I'm like FI, did you send her the website link? No he didn't, apparently. Idk where she got it. But basically she is really upset because this is the first wedding from the church that isn't an "open invite". Hence the problem we had before with her trying to invite the entire church. I told FI, this is not your problem. I know she's upset but you have nothing to say to her. They have to have a guest count for their hosted reception. Send her this picture of our flower girl trying on her dress to bean dip her. And then she texts back after 5 minutes of no response "fine I guess I will stay home since I was not invited". Yes. Yes you will. Sorry bout cha.

What a shame her pouting doesn't result in an invitation for her when she wasn't on the guest list in the first place.  :-P

hikebikebemerry

If my FI said this, I would wait a little (until the topic had changed) and randomly say:

"Hey FI- you're invited to a party in my pants!"

... Let FI answer

"Oh, are you going to invite your Mom?"

... Let FI be shocked and appalled that I would say such a thing

"Then why the fuck would it be ok to invite her to something else that you were invited to and she wasn't?!"

pinkshorts27

hikebikebemerry said:

If my FI said this, I would wait a little (until the topic had changed) and randomly say:

"Hey FI- you're invited to a party in my pants!"

... Let FI answer

"Oh, are you going to invite your Mom?"

... Let FI be shocked and appalled that I would say such a thing

"Then why the fuck would it be ok to invite her to something else that you were invited to and she wasn't?!"

Orange Juice through my nose. This is hilarious. Granted I wouldn't do it, but hilarious. 

SammiNJonni

hikebikebemerry said:

If my FI said this, I would wait a little (until the topic had changed) and randomly say:

"Hey FI- you're invited to a party in my pants!"

... Let FI answer

"Oh, are you going to invite your Mom?"

... Let FI be shocked and appalled that I would say such a thing

"Then why the fuck would it be ok to invite her to something else that you were invited to and she wasn't?!"

Laughing so much my side hurts. I could never do this but it is perfect.

AddieCake

I hate people.

countrygirl061513

Can I just say that I am so happy that I do not ever have to plan another wedding?

Sugargirl1019

AddieCake said:

I hate people.

Glad I'm not the only one I'm a nurse and I unfortunately come home feeling like this most days!

But yes, FMIL is cray. My phone autocorrect crazy to cray now.

I laughed at the party in the pants thing too! But I would never say that to the man I love. Well intentioned, very sweet guy, hard headed but that's not always a bad thing.. Especially for that kind of party!

Actually, maybe I might say it if he begins to feel that way again. But he has come over to my side very early on that his mom is over the top and she is wrong.

princessleia22

Our best man invited his parents to our destination wedding, since his wife isn't able to come. Part of me is shocked at that. But, on the other hand, my FIs response was that he should have thought to invite them in the first place, so we are okay with it. And luckily I was told all this the day after I mailed out invites, so it was early enough to send them their own invite. But best man had discussed it with them and invited them before even consulting with us. And original invite was for best man, his wife, and 4 kids, so it's still less people than expected. But why does everyone assume an invite includes everyone else that didn't get invites?

chibiyui

countrygirl061513 said:

Can I just say that I am so happy that I do not ever have to plan another wedding?

Word.

Halfway through I started wondering why the hell we didn't elope.

wrigleyville

This is exactly why we had a tiny wedding way the hell across the country. The more I planned things and talked to people, the more I wanted to hide. By the time STDs went out, our guest list had gone from 200 to 43.

jalyndani

chibiyui said: countrygirl061513 said: Can I just say that I am so happy that I do not ever have to plan another wedding? Word.
Halfway through I started wondering why the hell we didn't elope.

I started wondering why we didn't elope the week after we booked the venue, especially since both sets of parents were ok with the idea. The only reason we didn't was b/c FI somehow convinced me that I would regret not having the full "traditional wedding" hoopla. 

If only we knew then what we know now... 

CamiSelene

 

countrygirl061513 said:

Can I just say that I am so happy that I do not ever have to plan another wedding?

Word.

Halfway through I started wondering why the hell we didn't elope.

Yep and yep!! Lol, just the other day I got a message from FI's best man telling me to invite so and so (a very casual acquaintance of mine/good friend and ex gf of his that he occasionally hooks up with). I asked what made him bring that up and he said she was hinting that she wanted to come (she and I have met once and are friends on fb...very superficial aquaintances) so I made a joke that maybe she just wanted to go with him as his date to which he said he is saving his plus one for a potential date he is interested in. All of this is happening 3 weeks before rsvp's are due.... yeah, no... I bean dipped my way out of finishing that convo but now this girl has been contacting me and I have bean bean dipping the hell outta her.

It sure doesn't help that another one of the FI's friends added a guest when he wasn't given a plus one (specifically because FI did not want him to bring a specific girl that he hates and no, she is not a SO of said friend... she has a bf. FI gave up and just said to allow it though cuz he didn't want to cause problems) and said added guest is best friends with this other girl.... ugh, my side of the invites have been easy breezy and problem-free but FI's side is one hot mess with his friends and family. I swear, they have no sense of etiquette at all (still waiting for a thank you note from his cousin's wedding in Feb.... don't think it will happen)

*sigh* Eloping would have been easier.... lol

jdluvr06

Why do all these people want to be invited to weddings anyway? I just don't get it. I would rather spend my weekends doing what I want. Not dressing up and faking small talk with people at a wedding for people I'm not close to. This is why I only go to the weddings of close friends and relatives.

CamiSelene

jdluvr06 said:

Why do all these people want to be invited to weddings anyway? I just don't get it. I would rather spend my weekends doing what I want. Not dressing up and faking small talk with people at a wedding for people I'm not close to. This is why I only go to the weddings of close friends and relatives.

Amen! I completely agree. Why would you want to go to a wedding of someone you barely know? I've been to those. They are nothing but awkward... especially when you only know a few select people there and most of said people are in the wedding party and busy making sure they mingle with everyone that came.... give me my sweats, some coffee, and a good book or video game with the FI over that any day!!!

JellyBean52513

CamiSelene said:

 

countrygirl061513 said:

Can I just say that I am so happy that I do not ever have to plan another wedding?

Word.

Halfway through I started wondering why the hell we didn't elope.

Yep and yep!! Lol, just the other day I got a message from FI's best man telling me to invite so and so (a very casual acquaintance of mine/good friend and ex gf of his that he occasionally hooks up with). I asked what made him bring that up and he said she was hinting that she wanted to come (she and I have met once and are friends on fb...very superficial aquaintances) so I made a joke that maybe she just wanted to go with him as his date to which he said he is saving his plus one for a potential date he is interested in. All of this is happening 3 weeks before rsvp's are due.... yeah, no... I bean dipped my way out of finishing that convo but now this girl has been contacting me and I have bean bean dipping the hell outta her.

It sure doesn't help that another one of the FI's friends added a guest when he wasn't given a plus one (specifically because FI did not want him to bring a specific girl that he hates and no, she is not a SO of said friend... she has a bf. FI gave up and just said to allow it though cuz he didn't want to cause problems) and said added guest is best friends with this other girl.... ugh, my side of the invites have been easy breezy and problem-free but FI's side is one hot mess with his friends and family. I swear, they have no sense of etiquette at all (still waiting for a thank you note from his cousin's wedding in Feb.... don't think it will happen)

*sigh* Eloping would have been easier.... lol

I would stop bean-dipping her at this point and be straight-forward: "I hate to disappoint you but all of our invites have been sent out already. Sorry, we just weren't able to invite to a ton of people!"