Oh My Sweet Baby Jesus - Dress Codes

Sugargirl1019

MagicInk said:

zizibet said:

I went to a party once with the dress code "Ties for the men, Pretty for the women" was used. I had no idea what to wear.

FI says I'm pretty when I'm naked. Can I go naked?

FI will wear ONLY a tie. And I will go naked.

JellyBean52513

@MagicInk I love that your FI helps you pick out an outfit! At the risk of potentially feminizing my SO, we do the typical "pre-game/getting ready" thing on weekends before we go out; we have a few glasses of wine/shots of liquor, we listen to our favorite music, and we help each other pick out outfits for the night. He's literally the best friend I ever had, but way better because none of my girl friends ever told me they couldn't wait to get me home at the end of the night lol

delujm0

NYCBruin said:

delujm0 said:

DragonBlood13 said:

KarlaJudithZ said:

Honestly though, I wish I had seen this sooner. I know the rules are a little weird but every asking me "What do I wear?" is DRIVING ME NUTS!!!! I have told everyone that I want it to be very formal evening wear, guys and tuxedos. And then the girls look at me and say "What should I wear?" All I can think is: Well the guys are wearing tuxedos so why don't you just show up in jeans and flip flops!!

If I have to answer that question one more time I'll shoot somebody!!!

Maybe I'll just copy this little picture, print it out, highlight which one I want, and send it with the invitation.

I realize that I already quoted you, but honestly, you think your guests should wear Tuxedos to your wedding?  

Seriously, if you want men to wear tuxes to your wedding, this had better be an actual Black Tie event.  Otherwise, that is insane.

 

And by "actual black tie event" i mean at a minimum it absolutely must: be an evening event, on a Saturday, with a seated, multi-course meal (as in "not a buffet"), full open bar with top shelf liquor, and probably a live band (though i wouldn't side-eye a DJ too terribly).  And i'm being conservative wth the Black Tie qualifications.  There are several others.

 

I'd NEVER in a million years think i was important enough that all of my male guests should have to shell out $100 to rent an outfit to wear to my wedding, even if i was having a wedding that would otherwise qualify as Black Tie.  Unless i ran in a crowd where most of the men owned their own tuxes and wore them regularly (which i'm assuming this poster does not, or else the women wouldn't be asking her how to dress), I'd feel like a terrible person for requiring this.  it's just a wedding for god's sake.  it's not the prom or an exclusive charity benefit or the Oscars.  we're not even having our wedding party wear tuxes, though i think that is a completely fine and appropriate choice.  WTF.

I don't want to open this debate again, but seriously, as a Jew, it's insanely difficult to have a Saturday night wedding that is halachically acceptable. It's really not fair to exclude them from being able to have black tie events just because they generally cannot have Saturday events. 

Agreed. I've been to many week-night black tie events. Time of day matters. Day of week does not.

Fair point.  I rescind my "Saturday" qualification...but to really be Black Tie it does need to be at night.  This can't be like a 3pm ceremony followed by a "black tie" reception.  That wouldn't qualify. 

 

My main point is that at least 90% of weddings don't meet Black Tie requirements, so to be asking men (not including bridal party) to wear tuxes for them is prety ridiculous.

fionahalliwell

@delujm0 you're totally right. Nighttime, full open bar with everything, multi-course plated dinner, valet parking covered, etc. But it can be any night of the week.