What can't you register for?

VulgarGirl

So other then like honeymoon funds, is there anything you really shouldn't register for?

FI and I have lived together for 9 years, we've already upgraded a lot of our stuff and we aren't people who want formal linens or china (I'd break it so fast). So we were thinking of doing some stuff like board games, DVDs/books we've wanted, and not as much household stuff. There are a few household items we'd like to upgrade we will probably register for, but there isn't much...maybe 5 items.

So would you think it was super weird, or rude, if a registry had DVDs and board games?

Fairyjen1

   I wouldn't find board games on a registry rude. My fiance' and I have hosted many a game night at his place so I don't think anyone would side eye a board game, were we doing a larger registry than we are. Also It's something a couple could do together and I think that is important. 

   then again I'm not offended by much. I have seen people here say they would side eye anything that wasn't essential for keeping house (specifically cake pop pans or upgrades if they feel the people already had perfectly good items). I'm not trying to discourage you, just letting you know that you could possibly get a few raised eyebrows at board games. For the record I have a very small registry as we are having only 18 guests and we are older and have everything we need. I do have a few specialized cooking tools on there because I love to cook and entertain. These aren't necessary, I just want them. I have a think enough skin to handle a few side eye's however, LOL.

Aray82

Board games and DVDs, IMO, are fine. They could be a part of entertaining and a part of setting up your house just as much as a serving dish, and would be something fun you wouldn't normally buy for yourselves. What about a popcorn popper to go with the DVDs? Or a couple of nice reading lamps or lap desks? Of course, you don't want to add things just to add them if there's nothing you need, but what about any hobbies you two have that could use some supplies? Camping gear (many folks have REI registries nowadays), luggage and other supplies for road trips or plane trips, or gardening/landscaping tools. Even if you don't travel much, it really helps to have good luggage when you do! You could also think about some nice cleaning/vacuuming supplies (especially if you have two cats like we do!)

I might avoid piece of furniture bigger than an end table or lamp, but I really don't side-eye much on a registry as long as there is a good variety of items in various price ranges. I just figure people might want to purchase the pricier items with the completion discount after.

theartistformerlyknownas

My general line in the sand is whether or not it's something you'll use TOGETHER as a couple. Shared interests like camping or traveling, cool. Exercise equipment or a foot spa, not so cool. So along those lines I'd probably say yay to games and DVDs, nay to books (except cookbooks, or maybe a travel guide or similar non-fiction).

I don't really mind larger furniture, because you could have like 10 friends who chip in together. As long as all the lower price ranges are covered too, anyway.

I'm totally fine with specialty kitchenware but I draw the line at cake pop pans because THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE CAKE POPS.

A friend of mine had a random 20oz bottle of Diet Dr Pepper and a few-months-old magazine on her registry years ago. I laughed hard at that.

Jen4948

I draw the line at six things:

1) Anything illegal

2) Anything meant to be used by a third party, not one or both of the couple

3) Donations to charities (donate your own funds, don't ask your guests to do it)

4) Gift cards/cash

5) No gifts

6) Honeymoons

KGold80

I think registering for stuff you can do together is a good idea if you don't need household items. Also, you could register for something like a fully stocked picnic basket or something? I've seen some really nice ones that include dishes, flatware, etc.

princessleia22

I generally figure anything used together or for mutual benefit is fine for a registry.  As long as it's within reason.

I once knew someone that registered for a $1,500 large screen tv... um, I can't afford that for myself, I'm certainly not getting it for you. I kind of side-eye high cost entertainment items, like high end TV's, stereo systems, video game systems, or computer.  If it were high cost household item, like a $500 vacuum, I'd be fine with it though. But, movies or board games, I would assume they are fun activities for couple to do together and would think its cute. Same for items for a joint hobby. I'd probably side-eye something like golf clubs, unless you were registering for both his & hers sets to show that it will be joint activity.

I do like the idea of finding complementary items to register for.  Like movies & popcorn.  Maybe register for large popcorn bowl and some popcorn seasonings.  Something like that can help paint a picture of a nice date night that the items will help create.

MyNameIsNot

I agree with PPs about "together" gifts.  I'd side eye a hair dryer (true story).  I'm also not big on lingerie registries.  I guess a lacy thong is for both of you, but I don't need to know about all that.

IMHO, games, camping equipment, cameras, etc are fair game when they're meant for the couple.  In my circle, most of the established couples register for tools and home improvement equipment.  

kitty8403

I don't side eye all that much, really. Cash registries. Furnishings that cost more than a new car. Vibrators.

Tools, games, electronics, sporting equipment? Bring it on. That's stuff we will use and be thankful for daily, and besides, it gives FI a little fun. Why should all the gifts be so "girly" when they are intended to be gifts for the man as well?

VulgarGirl

kitty8403 said:

I don't side eye all that much, really. Cash registries. Furnishings that cost more than a new car. Vibrators. Tools, games, electronics, sporting equipment? Bring it on. That's stuff we will use and be thankful for daily, and besides, it gives FI a little fun. Why should all the gifts be so "girly" when they are intended to be gifts for the man as well?

Damn it! No vibrators? Well hell.

Actually...there is no man for us....

RebeccaB88

MagicInk said:

Damn it! No vibrators? Well hell.

Actually...there is no man for us....

You could register for one!  

Oh wait.  They aren't all they're cracked up to be, all the time.

[Deleted User]

When we went to Target, the girl told us, register for anything you might want from things you need, from the splurges on things you would like but would never treat yourself too. Since we had combined two homes, we did a few updates to kitch things but lots of splurges that were fun. Things from a rechargable wine bottle opener, wine fridge, dorm fridge, to board games, yard games, a new camera, towels, Kitchenaid mixer and more. We had fun registering and we're really enjoyed upgrading our home & having things we would never buy ourselves.

leelabear

I would say no cash, gift cards, items that will obviously only be used by one of you (ie clothes, beard clipper, etc), anything embarrassing (vibrator), or honeymoon registry.

I think games are great. We have everything we need for a house. So we-have non typical items on ours like a boomerang. We also have a few item that we aren't sure that all our guests will understand that are for both of us. For example, we both use power tools and sewing machine. All of which we put on the registry.

It was suggested to me recently to put items on it for the guests to get me (not us) for the shower. I haven't done that yet and I'm not sure if thats ok. Whats everyone else's thoughts on that?

LondonLisa

I agree with PP. I like the ideas of games! DVDS whilst unconventional and not rude,  I wouldn't buy just because I know technology changes so much and I like to give people gifts that I can imagine them using for years. 

A few things you can register for that you might not think of for day to day home ware:

Luggage- I've bought that for a few friends for their weddings, and I love that they think of me when they go on holiday. 

Seasonal things- Depending on the season, such as Christmas ornaments, halloween, summer parties etc

Small garden things like a bird feeder, or an outdoor bench

Framed posters/paintings. 

bananasplit472001

I think you should also include recreational stuff such as beach chairs/umbrella/blanket/coolers/tennis rackets/gardening tools/seasonal decorations.  Honestly there is not much that is considered rude other than a honeymoon registry, money, and having a registry of all expensive items.

Wegl13

We registered for the most expensive vacuum cleaner (a Dyson Animal) that BB&B had. Between us we have three dogs, one of which is a malamute mix, and i have to use a combo of a vacuum cleaner my mom bought me for college (it takes three loads to clean the living room) and a shop-vac (because my vacuum cleaner has no attachments) to get *most* of the hair up. I feel incredibly guilty about have a $650 item on our registry (along with the kitchen aid mixer and bread maker I really wanted, as well as a 4-setting china set that it took us weeks to find and agree on) but at the end of the day I figured... I'd rather register for the items I actually want and need. On a similar note, is there a point at which the number of things on a registry list becomes ghastly? We are having a small (50-60) person wedding and our registry already has 70 items on it after just one trip (but that includes, like, our $3 kitchen washcloths as well as the pricy items). Obviously at 300+ items I can see "that's nonsense!" But the truth is that most everything I own was a hand-me-down from my parents (it works, but is older and isn't my style) or I bought as a college kid (it's cheap and is still doing the job so what the hell); and my fiancé is in a similar predicament (he lives in a studio apartment smaller than most peoples living rooms).... So unlike what sounds like is becoming more and of a trend (we've been on our own for a long time and don't need anything), we really do need and want things to build a home together (even though we have been on our own for 8+ years each) that doesn't look like a college kid's or a bachelor pad. So I guess my question is, is it okay to have several items that are expensive (over $200), and is it okay to have a pretty large registry? I don't want to seem like we are expecting all these things (especially not the vacuum- we are likely going to be buying that one ourselves with the registry discount!) or am gift-grabby, but I also don't want to place undue stress on having to go back and cut things that we actually want or need. Wedding planning is stressful enough (I actually really hate planning parties).

AprilH81

Wegl13 said:

We registered for the most expensive vacuum cleaner (a Dyson Animal) that BB&B had. Between us we have three dogs, one of which is a malamute mix, and i have to use a combo of a vacuum cleaner my mom bought me for college (it takes three loads to clean the living room) and a shop-vac (because my vacuum cleaner has no attachments) to get *most* of the hair up. I feel incredibly guilty about have a $650 item on our registry (along with the kitchen aid mixer and bread maker I really wanted, as well as a 4-setting china set that it took us weeks to find and agree on) but at the end of the day I figured... I'd rather register for the items I actually want and need. On a similar note, is there a point at which the number of things on a registry list becomes ghastly? We are having a small (50-60) person wedding and our registry already has 70 items on it after just one trip (but that includes, like, our $3 kitchen washcloths as well as the pricy items). Obviously at 300+ items I can see "that's nonsense!" But the truth is that most everything I own was a hand-me-down from my parents (it works, but is older and isn't my style) or I bought as a college kid (it's cheap and is still doing the job so what the hell); and my fiancé is in a similar predicament (he lives in a studio apartment smaller than most peoples living rooms).... So unlike what sounds like is becoming more and of a trend (we've been on our own for a long time and don't need anything), we really do need and want things to build a home together (even though we have been on our own for 8+ years each) that doesn't look like a college kid's or a bachelor pad. So I guess my question is, is it okay to have several items that are expensive (over $200), and is it okay to have a pretty large registry? I don't want to seem like we are expecting all these things (especially not the vacuum- we are likely going to be buying that one ourselves with the registry discount!) or am gift-grabby, but I also don't want to place undue stress on having to go back and cut things that we actually want or need. Wedding planning is stressful enough (I actually really hate planning parties).

***Stuck in the Box***

We had 80 guests and had  two registries  with about 150 or so items (not including duplicates for things like place settings).

I don't side-eye large registries unless they eloped or become really, really excessive (5 registries with 1,000 items and only 25 guests type of deal).  As long as you have a variety of price points you are fine.

Aray82

leelabear said:

I would say no cash, gift cards, items that will obviously only be used by one of you (ie clothes, beard clipper, etc), anything embarrassing (vibrator), or honeymoon registry.

I think games are great. We have everything we need for a house. So we-have non typical items on ours like a boomerang. We also have a few item that we aren't sure that all our guests will understand that are for both of us. For example, we both use power tools and sewing machine. All of which we put on the registry.

It was suggested to me recently to put items on it for the guests to get me (not us) for the shower. I haven't done that yet and I'm not sure if thats ok. Whats everyone else's thoughts on that?

Hmm. I'd say it depends. I've been to alternative showers for which the hosts asked for bath/body products and/or lingerie, but this was not something the bride registered for and I would've side-eyed it if she did. However, if you're talking about things like kitchen items that only you would "use" if your FI doesn't cook, that'd be fine. (Especially since he'd still be eating what you cooked with it!) I also wouldn't side-eye things like women's luggage either, as long as there were an alternative for FI (a blue or black version of the "girly" carry-on case, for example) I've also seen men's and women's bedroom slippers on a registry that I thought was fine. We have two garment bags on ours since we both travel a lot to see our families and will both be travelling a lot for job interviews next year, which our families and friends know.

Aray82

LondonLisa said:

I agree with PP. I like the ideas of games! DVDS whilst unconventional and not rude,  I wouldn't buy just because I know technology changes so much and I like to give people gifts that I can imagine them using for years. 

A few things you can register for that you might not think of for day to day home ware:

Luggage- I've bought that for a few friends for their weddings, and I love that they think of me when they go on holiday. 

Seasonal things- Depending on the season, such as Christmas ornaments, halloween, summer parties etc

Small garden things like a bird feeder, or an outdoor bench

Framed posters/paintings. 

I just saw this and thought, "Yes! A bird feeder would be so nice to have and we do have lots of birds..." and then I remembered I've got two indoor/outdoor cats :P Of course, THEY would be thrilled to have one...

artbyallie

Board games are our favorite wedding gift to give, as it happens. Whether the couple registered for it or not, sometimes.

Don't register for cash, obviously. Gift cards included. I would side-eye large furniture or appliances on a registry, but not something like a microwave, a vacuum, or a set of those little folding tables for eating on the couch in front of the TV. I would also side-eye putting the TV on there, though.

Some people do camping or other hobby type things, which is fine by me although I hate camping personally and wouldn't buy anything like that (also because I find it to generally be expensive). Are there any gadgets one or both of you would like that you just haven't justified getting for yourselves, like a fondue pot or crockpot? Or something decorative, like rugs, wall art, vases, frames? And I don't care if you have a million towels and sheets; register for new, good quality ones. Always worth it.

ll6747

What gives anyone the right to "side eye" anything someone puts on their registry? You don't like it, don't buy it. It's your choice, buy off registry if you prefer. But a few guests might want to go together to buy a television, or chair or $600 vacuum. Who is anyone to judge.

jdluvr06

Jen4948 said:

I draw the line at six things:

1) Anything illegal

2) Anything meant to be used by a third party, not one or both of the couple

3) Donations to charities (donate your own funds, don't ask your guests to do it)

4) Gift cards/cash

5) No gifts

6) Honeymoons

Why would you draw the line at no gifts? Some people really don't want anything. I already told my mom that if someone ask her what we want (since we didn't register) she should tell them that we don't need anything and are uncomfortable receiving gifts.

KGold80

jdluvr06 said:

Jen4948 said:

I draw the line at six things:

1) Anything illegal

2) Anything meant to be used by a third party, not one or both of the couple

3) Donations to charities (donate your own funds, don't ask your guests to do it)

4) Gift cards/cash

5) No gifts

6) Honeymoons

Why would you draw the line at no gifts? Some people really don't want anything. I already told my mom that if someone ask her what we want (since we didn't register) she should tell them that we don't need anything and are uncomfortable receiving gifts.

Some guests are going to be made extremely uncomfortable by having to show up to a wedding empty handed. I personally would feel very weird.

theartistformerlyknownas

Jen4948 said:

I draw the line at six things:

1) Anything illegal

2) Anything meant to be used by a third party, not one or both of the couple

3) Donations to charities (donate your own funds, don't ask your guests to do it)

4) Gift cards/cash

5) No gifts

6) Honeymoons

Why would you draw the line at no gifts? Some people really don't want anything. I already told my mom that if someone ask her what we want (since we didn't register) she should tell them that we don't need anything and are uncomfortable receiving gifts.

Because to state "no gifts" means you otherwise expected gifts, which you shouldn't do. It's ok to not want gifts, you just don't write that. You can absolutely say, when asked, "there's really nothing we want or need except to celebrate with everyone!"

sophhabobopha

I might just not register, and most people would probably give cash anyway.

JMalettas

 

jdluvr06 said:

Jen4948 said:

I draw the line at six things:

1) Anything illegal

2) Anything meant to be used by a third party, not one or both of the couple

3) Donations to charities (donate your own funds, don't ask your guests to do it)

4) Gift cards/cash

5) No gifts

6) Honeymoons

Why would you draw the line at no gifts? Some people really don't want anything. I already told my mom that if someone ask her what we want (since we didn't register) she should tell them that we don't need anything and are uncomfortable receiving gifts.

 I also agree, that I would feel super weird showing up to a wedding without a gift of some sort. (I'm usually a cash-in-a-card, kinda wedding "gifter." So likely, whether or not the couple registered, I'd be bringing cash in a card). Not that gifts should be expected, but I wouldn't want to be the person who brought nothing. 

 Kind of a similar topic-on the radio in the car this morning, the host was talking about a wedding she's going to this weekend. She's not from this area, and where she is from, there are NO open bars at weddings, and generally you wouldn't ever bring a gift worth more than around $85, or exceed that in a card. She was completely baffled that an open bar is the norm, (here), & that because the couple hasn't registered, she's determined to go out & buy something random, but thinks it would be crazy to exceed $85. Apparently, anyone she's talked to, (who I'm assuming is also attending this wedding), is giving cash in a card, because the couple hasn't registered, and she finds that completely crazy too. (Or seems to think this). I'm definitely not saying you need to go out there & spend X amount on a gift, by any means. To voice on the radio how ridiculous you think it is though, is almost as rude. Especially to the soon-to-be married couple, that likely heard her this morning, and if they didn't, it's a small city, and you can almost bet they've caught wind by now. I didn't catch the rest of the rant, but she was wanting people's opinions on it. (Not that I called in). I just found it odd!

 *J

fb82

I see some people say not to put gift cards on your registry but I disagree. I like when I see gift cards on someone's registry so I don't have to worry if there's nothing left on the registry that I would have got. I feel better knowing that they want/are ok with getting gift cards.  

The only thing that's ever really bothered me on a registry is expensive electronics like TVs, ipods, ipads, etc.

Even things that are for one of them don't really bother me like hair dryers etc... they could be registered for a coffee maker even if only one of them drinks coffee... that doesn't bother me...   so it's only expensive electronics that make me roll my eyes lol

VulgarGirl

fb82 said:

I see some people say not to put gift cards on your registry but I disagree. I like when I see gift cards on someone's registry so I don't have to worry if there's nothing left on the registry that I would have got. I feel better knowing that they want/are ok with getting gift cards.  

Are there people you know who would dislike a gift card to the place they registered at? Because these are people I do not know. Of course a gift card is a good idea. Like cash is a good idea.

There are no gift cards on our registry. But if someone gets us one, we'll be happy.

wajohnson09

Nothing wrong with board games or DVDs. I actually like buying things like that on registries- feel like both people will really use and enjoy it.
Our most expensive item is a vacuum and a nice set of cookware. We figure maybe a few family members will go in together on it, otherwise we'll pick it up with a discount after the wedding

Viczaesar

fb82 said:

I see some people say not to put gift cards on your registry but I disagree. I like when I see gift cards on someone's registry so I don't have to worry if there's nothing left on the registry that I would have got. I feel better knowing that they want/are ok with getting gift cards.  

The only thing that's ever really bothered me on a registry is expensive electronics like TVs, ipods, ipads, etc.

Even things that are for one of them don't really bother me like hair dryers etc... they could be registered for a coffee maker even if only one of them drinks coffee... that doesn't bother me...   so it's only expensive electronics that make me roll my eyes lol

You seriously need that to tell you that people are okay with receiving gift cards?  Really?

littlemushroom

We don't want gift cards to the brick and mortar store we registered at.  We only registered there because there were some people who wouldn't be comfortable ordering off Amazon.  If we don't get anything off of that registry we would be fine with that.  So no, just because people are registered at a store does not mean they would appreciate a bunch of gift cards for there.