Future In-Laws in Wedding Party

KSaun428

Okay, this may be a dumb question but it's really been confusing me. So I'm at the age where most of my friend's don't have children, so I was thinking about asking my fiancé to ask his sister to let his niece and nephew to be the flower girl and ring bearer at our wedding. But if I do this, do we need to include his sister and her husband in our wedding party? I wasn't planning on having my own brother and sister in the wedding party because it's really not their thing, but I don't know how'd they'd feel if my future in-laws were in it. Also, my fiancé was his brother-in-law's best man, but since then he and his family had a falling out and are just now reconnecting. So I don't know them like, at all (have only met once in the past 4 years) and don't know if they'd expect to be included or not. What should I do?

hlvonb

KSaun428 said:

Okay, this may be a dumb question but it's really been confusing me. So I'm at the age where most of my friend's don't have children, so I was thinking about asking my fiancé to ask his sister to let his niece and nephew to be the flower girl and ring bearer at our wedding. But if I do this, do we need to include his sister and her husband in our wedding party? I wasn't planning on having my own brother and sister in the wedding party because it's really not their thing, but I don't know how'd they'd feel if my future in-laws were in it. Also, my fiancé was his brother-in-law's best man, but since then he and his family had a falling out and are just now reconnecting. So I don't know them like, at all (have only met once in the past 4 years) and don't know if they'd expect to be included or not. What should I do?

@KSaun428

1. You can ask or have your fiance ask. It doesn't matter either way.

2. No you do NOT have to include them in the wedding party. 

3. My nephew is the ring bearer and his mom is not in the wedding party.

4. My fiance's niece is the flower girl and her parents are not in the wedding party.

HisGirlFriday13

1. You don't need an RB and FG, so only ask them if you actually WANT to include them in the wedding party.

2. The children being in the wedding does not mean the parents have to be. 

3. Your attendants should be the people closest to you, regardless of their genetic or legal relationship to you. My SIL was one of my BMs, but she's also one of my best friends. My brother and DH are close, but DH didn't ask Brother to be a GM, which was fine. 

4. If your FI wants his sister and BIL to be in the WP, they can both stand on his side. 

Jen4948

KSaun428 said:

Okay, this may be a dumb question but it's really been confusing me. So I'm at the age where most of my friend's don't have children, so I was thinking about asking my fiancé to ask his sister to let his niece and nephew to be the flower girl and ring bearer at our wedding. But if I do this, do we need to include his sister and her husband in our wedding party? I wasn't planning on having my own brother and sister in the wedding party because it's really not their thing, but I don't know how'd they'd feel if my future in-laws were in it. Also, my fiancé was his brother-in-law's best man, but since then he and his family had a falling out and are just now reconnecting. So I don't know them like, at all (have only met once in the past 4 years) and don't know if they'd expect to be included or not. What should I do?

No, you are not required to have the parents of your minor attendants in your wedding party (although they will need to be accompanied by other adults who are authorized to supervise them); nor are you required to have your FILs in your wedding party. 

Nor is there any tit-for-tat in choosing attendants:  your FI is not required to have his BIL as an attendant just because your FI was in your FBIL's wedding party.