Time between ceremony and reception

gh1986

I'm just wondering what everyone's opinions are. The place we are wanting to have our ceremony only has a time of 1-3 pm available, so we'd need a 2 pm ceremony time. However, the reception site is a golf course and they said we get the room from 4pm-midnight. We won't be able to get the pictures on the golf course until around 4:30-5, so we were thinking a 4:30-5:30 pm social hour for our guests and then reception to start at 5:30. Is that too long? The place where we are looking at having our ceremony is a hotel and we were thinking our guests could hang out in their rooms or go to the bar at the golf course if they wanted to. Thoughts?

MobKaz

Any type of gap between the ceremony and the reception should be hosted by the bride and groom.  It is rude to have a gap.  

How long is your ceremony?  Can you start at 3:00 PM?  

QueerFemme

gh1986 said:

I'm just wondering what everyone's opinions are. The place we are wanting to have our ceremony only has a time of 1-3 pm available, so we'd need a 2 pm ceremony time. However, the reception site is a golf course and they said we get the room from 4pm-midnight. We won't be able to get the pictures on the golf course until around 4:30-5, so we were thinking a 4:30-5:30 pm social hour for our guests and then reception to start at 5:30. Is that too long? The place where we are looking at having our ceremony is a hotel and we were thinking our guests could hang out in their rooms or go to the bar at the golf course if they wanted to. Thoughts?

Pick a different venue for either the ceremony or the reception.   Don't ask your guests to hang around waiting for your event to start.  Your "gap" should be no longer than the amount of time it takes to travel from one location to another.

Jen4948

gh1986 said:

I'm just wondering what everyone's opinions are. The place we are wanting to have our ceremony only has a time of 1-3 pm available, so we'd need a 2 pm ceremony time. However, the reception site is a golf course and they said we get the room from 4pm-midnight. We won't be able to get the pictures on the golf course until around 4:30-5, so we were thinking a 4:30-5:30 pm social hour for our guests and then reception to start at 5:30. Is that too long? The place where we are looking at having our ceremony is a hotel and we were thinking our guests could hang out in their rooms or go to the bar at the golf course if they wanted to. Thoughts?

This is not appropriate.  Your guests should never be expected to "hang out" somewhere or go to a bar between your ceremony and reception. 

Your reception needs to start immediately after your ceremony.  If your venues make that impossible, you need to change at least one of your venues.

mysticl

If you have your reception venue for 8 hours and you aren't having a church wedding why not just hold your ceremony at the golf course?  

Ceremony: 4-4:30ish

Cocktail Hour/photos: as soon as ceremony ends-5:30

Dinner: 5:30-6:30

Party: 6:30-Midnight (but don't expect people to stay that long)

LondonLisa

Gaps are always rude. You get 1 hour to take your photos whilst you host your guests before the reception (cocktail hour). Anything beyond this is inappropriate. You need to either move your ceremony site or reception venue. Assuming your ceremony is 30 minutes:

2 Ceremony

2:30 cocktail hour

3:30 reception start

or

4 ceremony

4:30 cocktail hour

5:30 reception start

If changing venues between ceremony and reception, you could add the drive time, but the cocktail hour should start immediately as the first guests arrives. 

STARMOON44

Second the suggestion to have your ceremony at the golf course. No excuse for a gap here.

MyNameIsNot

It's not ok to leave any unplanned time between the ceremony and reception.  If your cocktail hour starts at 4:30, back up drive time and ceremony duration from there, and you have your ceremony time.  Say you have a 20 minute drive and you're planning a 30 minute ceremony.  That means your ceremony would start no earlier than 3:30.

If the two venues you like don't work with your timeline, you'll need to pick a new venue for one or the other.  Expecting guests to sit around their hotel rooms or a bar and wait for you to get around to hosting them is absurdly rude.  

ETA: math

bananasplit472001

I really don't necessarily agree with not having any sort of gap in between. I know that it is bad etiquette according to many people but I have never been to a wedding where there was not a gap. I am having a small gap at my wedding in order to ensure my guests can travel to our cocktail hour location. Honestly anything more than an hour is rude but It sounds like your in the clear if your ceremony starts at 2. You should however start your cocktail hour at 4pm. Just because you can't take pictures until a certain time does not mean guests should wait for you. I would plan your gap around the time it would take for your guests to get to your reception venue.

gh1986

Thanks for the responses! We are looking at changing our ceremony site because the hotel wouldn't guarantee our out of town guests to check in early either.

gh1986

We aren't doing the ceremony at the golf course because it would only hold ~150 guests for the ceremony and they've only done a couple indoor ceremonies. However, their reception area can hold 250-300 guests which is the number we are inviting. We are looking at indoor because the weather in MN is unpredictable at that time of year and people don't know if it will be nice, raining, or snowing out. Thanks for your input and we are looking for a new ceremony site.

jenna8984

gh1986 said:

We aren't doing the ceremony at the golf course because it would only hold ~150 guests for the ceremony and they've only done a couple indoor ceremonies. However, their reception area can hold 250-300 guests which is the number we are inviting. We are looking at indoor because the weather in MN is unpredictable at that time of year and people don't know if it will be nice, raining, or snowing out. Thanks for your input and we are looking for a new ceremony site.

Good luck!! What about at the golf course in the reception space? That's always an option. 

Maggie0829

bananasplit472001 said:

I really don't necessarily agree with not having any sort of gap in between. I know that it is bad etiquette according to many people but I have never been to a wedding where there was not a gap. I am having a small gap at my wedding in order to ensure my guests can travel to our cocktail hour location. Honestly anything more than an hour is rude but It sounds like your in the clear if your ceremony starts at 2. You should however start your cocktail hour at 4pm. Just because you can't take pictures until a certain time does not mean guests should wait for you. I would plan your gap around the time it would take for your guests to get to your reception venue.

@bananasplit472001 - that isn't a gap.  A gap is when you more time between your ceremony and reception location then is necessary for travel.  Meaning if you ceremony ends at 3 and your reception starts at 5 but it only takes 30 minutes to travel between then two then that 1.5 hours is a gap, not the travel time.

gh1986

Thanks for everyone's help! We decided to go with the reception venue and have our ceremony in the same room there as well. It works out nicely because no one has to travel and I feel like it's less stress.