Wedding Etiquette Forum

Disagree with Miss Manners re: watches at weddings/formal events

24

Re: Disagree with Miss Manners re: watches at weddings/formal events

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited April 2014
    I wear a watch 24/7. I have about 6-7 for various occasions/outfits. 

    I actually usually don't wear a watch to formal occasions, but then I have to put a sturdy bracelet on or I feel naked. 

    Edit: well, not really 24/7 obviously, but it usually only comes off right before bed. 
    image
  • Hello--

    I was just reading Miss Manners from April 18th where the reader asked if it is okay for her to wear an elegant watch to her wedding reception.  Miss Manners said watches should not be worn for formal occasions (I guess that means for men too) because it conveys that one needs to keep track of time before moving on to the next tic on the schedule.

    I found that surprising and don't agree with it. There are lots of womens' watches that look more like a pretty bracelet than a watch.  But, even if that is not the case, this seems like old fashioned advice that does not have a place anymore in our modern world. 

    Just curious if I'm the one off-base or if she is.   

    I don't wear a watch ever, but I think she's on solid ground here.  Can you imagine a bride sitting at dinner checking her watch?  it conveys the wrong tone.

    That said, I think this is one you can safely ignore if you so choose.
    What's wrong with the bride making sure the event staff is following the agreed upon schedule? 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Miss Manners is VERY OLD SCHOOL.  This rule is in my old Amy Vanderbilt Etiquette book from the early 1960's.
    While Miss Manners is technically correct, this is one of those rules that does seem to be changing.  I didn't notice any celebrities wearing wristwatches on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, though.  I wouln't wear one as a bride, but as a guest, it wouldn't be a big deal.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • My grandpa just gave me a watch that belonged to his mother, he remembers her wearing it when he was a boy in the early 30's.  It's a Bulova art deco style bracelet watch with tiny diamonds and emeralds.  I'm not a big watch person and it doesn't really go with my dress, but I plan on wearing it on my wedding day.

     

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I always wear a watch now.  I started when I accidentally worked an extra 2 hours after my scheduled shift ended because I got caught up in what I was doing, am not allowed to check my phone for pretty much any reason there and have a terrible sense of time passing.  If I saw a bride checking a watch during her reception, I would assume it's because she's looking forward to the alone time with her hubby at the end of the night or just wanted to know what time it was, not that she was checked out of "friends and family" time.  Also, if she's a compulsive time checker, looking down at your wrist occasionally looks a lot nicer than pulling out a cellphone and turning it on to check the time.

  • Sars06 said:
    And, technically, one should never own a watch with diamonds because diamonds are only for evening. :)

    Who even wears a watch these days anyway?

    Uh, I wear a watch every single day. It was graduation gift from my parents when I received my Bachelor degree almost a decade ago, and it's got the seal of my university on the face. Oh, and it has a diamond at each hour mark. I won't be wearing it at my own wedding, but for any other function/occasion? Yeah, Miss Manners would have to pry it off of my cold, dead, rigor mortis wrist. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    rajahmd
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've certainly heard it's rude to check your watch obviously in any social situation for the reason stated by MM.

    I adore my movado but it goes with nice clothes, not formal dresses. If I, say, had to not keep a babysitter waiting, I'd be discreet about checking the time on any object.
    ________________________________


  • I think the "diamonds before 6" thing was sarcasm...

    And yeah, as a bride I don't plan on having my watch or phone on me, but I won't give one single fuck that other people do. I love watches on guys (and in general; love my chunky MK) and I hope FI wears his nice one at our wedding. I think a watch makes you look put-together.

    image
    image
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Yeah, I spent a lot of money on my watch and I'm certainly going to wear it out. I find it silly that one can spend tens of thousands on a watch and it's not appropriate or formal enough?? FWIW, I did not wear it as a bride, but I wear it out to formal events most of the time.

     







    chibiyuiPrettyGirlLost
  • Miss Manners also does not like strapless wedding dresses. She thinks that brides who wear them care more about the party than the ceremony. I completely think that's dumb.
    SP29
  • 500days500days MA member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Yes, Miss Manners is pretty old school. I was recently reading about her stance on family never hosting bridal showers. Every shower I have ever gone to was hosted by the bride's aunt, grandmother, mother or sister. Seems to be standard practice to have a family member host these days.


  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    When showers were cake and punch hosted at someone's home, it wasn't quite as expensive. Also, when women typically did not attend college, more people were "around" and local to host a home-based event. They also weren't completely overloaded with student loans. Nowadays, people scatter like the wind after high school and a bride might have bridesmaids that all live in different states. Many BMs or friends may have tons of debt or are still in school, so the funds just aren't there to host what is now considered a shower. The wedding industry has made us all believe our showers should be a more formal event that requires full up catering, open bars, and "fancy" decor and favors. So, it's come down to the family having to host it to keep up with what is now the "norm."

     







  • My watch is a beautiful, expensive piece of jewelry that I wear almost every day and frequently wear to formal events, MM be damned.

    (I did not wear it as a bride)
  • I can wear my inherited evening watch or I can have my cellphone set to alarm. I've got medication I've got to take on time. I figure my delicate, platinum band with diamond encrusted bezel and face watch is less tacky than my cellphone.
  • Silly indeed. Would one not bring their cell phone as well? Many people use their cell phones as a watch nowadays.
    I wouldn't dream of having my cell phone on my person during my wedding.  Even if I wanted to, where would I put it??
    My wedding dress had pockets. I carried my cell phone in one pocket and DH's wedding band in the other. I called DH a ton when he was hiding when we were supposed to be doing first look photos and checked time occasionally during the reception since there were no clocks and I wanted to make sure we were on schedule.

    Anniversary
    PrettyGirlLost
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited April 2014
    I wore a watch to my wedding! It was a fancy watch, with "pearls" and "diamonds". Totally fake, but it looks nice and my mother bought it for me as a piece of jewelry. I have since worn it out to a formal event as part of my pearl jewelry ensemble- though I don't usually wear a watch to formal events (maybe if I owned a gold one and a diamond one I would ;) ). 

    I think DH also wore a watch at our wedding. He has a few and also wears them for fashion in addition to function. If we had the extra money I know he would buy several fancy ones that he could wear to accessorize. 

    I also wear a watch daily to work. I need to know what time it is, as I work in health care, direct patient care. I need to chart what time I saw someone at and have an idea of how long I spent with them. I absolutely am not allowed to use my phone unless it's on lunch. 

    My watch that I wear everyday is quite a nice watch too- gold and silver by Guess. It's simple, but elegant (a narrow band and face), so I wear it to work as well as social outings. 

    I actually dislike how watches have fallen out of use with the younger generation and everyone relies on their phone. I think watches are awesome as both functional and as a fashion piece. 

    I think I had my cellphone in my clutch at my wedding, in case.... of what, I don't know, but I'm neurotic like that. I might have checked it once or twice the whole day, during a quiet period. 

    Oh, and diamonds are always appropriate! 
    PrettyGirlLosthuskypuppy14SKPM
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Can I have pics, please? I don't think it's rude for the bride to wear a watch, I just don't find it fits the formality of a wedding to have a watch on. I have never wore a watch in evening attire like cocktail dresses, evening gowns etc. Maybe I don't own fancy enough watches. I just don't see it fitting the look.
    CMGragain
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2014
    @sp29 said "Oh, and diamonds are always appropriate!"

    Sorry, but this is not true.  Diamonds, other than your e-ring/wedding ring, should only be worn in the evening.  Pearls are always appropriate.
    Yes, I know people wear them all the time in the USA.  It still isn't proper, and Europeans make fun of us and stereotype Americans as people who talk loudly in public and wear diamonds in the daytime.
    I broke tradition and wore an enormous diamond cocktail ring at my daughter's morning wedding and reception.  It was from my mother, who did not attend.  I also wore a hat and gloves to cover the ring in church.
    Miss Manners is old school, but she is correct.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • @banana468 I agree. I have a gold necklace with small diamonds in part. It's from Kay's Open Heart collection, and it looks like an angel with diamonds along the wings. My sister and I were given matching necklaces when one of our grandmothers died. I wear it during the day, and I will continue to. It's not gaudy or extravagant in any sort of way. If anyone would judge me for that, I can't even pretend I'd care.
    pinkshorts27
  • I use my cell phone for a watch lol. Very few people I know still wear them and I could care less if they wear it at my wedding.
  • The diamond thing is so stupid. If someone ever told me that whatever diamond jewelry I happen to be wearing is inappropriate because I'm wearing it during the day I would probably laugh. I don't mean I would laugh about it later, I mean I honestly don't think I could stop myself from laughing right then and there.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    This thread makes me wonder, how many brides here wore/are planning to wear a watch at their wedding?

    I wear a watch every day. (I even sleep with it on because my first thing in the morning brain doesn't process "put the watch on.")  If I don't have a watch on, or it isn't working, I am extremely conscious of it all the time.  I hadn't thought at all about whether or not I would wear a watch when I get married (I do have a nice "dress" watch for formal occasions.) 

    Now I'm trying to decide which would be "ruder," wearing a watch or being distracted by the fact that I am not.
    image
  • "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I am secretly hoping that FI gets me diamond stud earrings as a birthday or Christmas this year. If/when he does, you bet I'm going to wear those suckers every day. I wear no jewelry and I have been wanting a pair forever. Europeans, judge away!
    jdluvr06
  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I wear a watch 24/7. Have for years. I have the worst tanline ever from it, that's how much I wear it.  I bought a special watch for my wedding from Charming Charlie's. It's dressy and matched my other jewelry. DH wore a watch too- it was actually one of my gifts to him to on our wedding day.

    If it's so important not to wear diamonds during the day, why are engagement rings and wedding rings exempt? That makes absolutely no sense. And either way, it's a fashion rule, not an etiquette rule. 
    Anniversary
    jdluvr06SP29
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    CMGragain said:
    @sp29 said "Oh, and diamonds are always appropriate!"

    Sorry, but this is not true.  Diamonds, other than your e-ring/wedding ring, should only be worn in the evening.  Pearls are always appropriate.
    Yes, I know people wear them all the time in the USA.  It still isn't proper, and Europeans make fun of us and stereotype Americans as people who talk loudly in public and wear diamonds in the daytime.
    I broke tradition and wore an enormous diamond cocktail ring at my daughter's morning wedding and reception.  It was from my mother, who did not attend.  I also wore a hat and gloves to cover the ring in church.
    Miss Manners is old school, but she is correct.
    I don't think you can make a sweeping generalization about that many countries and people.  It's as stupid as the generalizations they claim to make about Americans. 

    And Europe has a hell of a lot of more important things to worry about, like the financial issues of the EU, or Russia and Crimea, than what the hell Americans are wearing, doing, or saying.

    I'm pretty sure De Beers, which was founded and backed by people of many different European backgrounds, is fine with people wearing diamonds whenever they want.

    These fashion rules are antiquated.  They are interesting to discuss the origins and the rationales, but they are out dated and irrelevant now.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    jdluvr06CMGragainpinkshorts27huskypuppy14
  • When I was in a sorority, we were not allowed to wear a watch for our Rush events, for exactly that reason.

    I would never wear a watch with an evening gown or cocktail dress, but that's just my preference.

    I bought FI an engagement watch. If he doesn't wear it with his tux at our wedding, I might kill him. :-)
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I have a rose gold Michael Kors watch that I love!

    I actually really like the color and style with my wedding dress, and am considering wearing at as an accessory. Heh.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards