Wedding Etiquette Forum

MIA RSVPs

I know this is a common frustration among brides (and general party-throwers) but I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to approach guests who haven't rsvp-ed?
I'm using paperlesspost.com and according to it 71/150 people have opened their invitations but haven't selected whether or not they're coming yet and I'm starting to get a little antsy since the wedding is 6 weeks away. 
Many of them have verbally discussed coming/their excitement for it but nothing definitive and I'm not sure if I should just count them for the catering or not. I don't want to be rude to anyone or have to hunt them down, just some casual or crafty way to get a yes or no from that 71 haha

Thank you for any advice!

Re: MIA RSVPs

  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    When is your RSVP deadline? Once that deadline hits, give your guests a day or two and then start making phone calls.

    It is not rude to say, "Hello, we have not received your RSVP yet, will you be attending our wedding?". You need an accurate head count for food and budget. 
    melbelleup
  • Did you do online invitations? If half of your guests haven't even opened the invitation, you should start wondering if it went the their spam. Also, your wedding is 6 weeks away and invitations are usually sent between 6 and 8 weeks, so don't worry about it until after your deadline has passed and you're getting close to your catering numbers being due.
    HisGirlFriday13doeydomelbelleup
  • Did you do online invitations? If half of your guests haven't even opened the invitation, you should start wondering if it went the their spam. Also, your wedding is 6 weeks away and invitations are usually sent between 6 and 8 weeks, so don't worry about it until after your deadline has passed and you're getting close to your catering numbers being due.

    Seconded. Also, not to be rude, but I take paperless invites WAY less seriously than I take real invites.

    People may just not be ready to commit or not thinking it's urgent. An online invite tells me it's less formal than a paper invite, and I can be more lax in responding.

    But I would guess a lot of people have theirs in their spam filter.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    doeydomelbelleupPeaseblossom55
  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Do what you'd do with any invitations (not just Paperless Post): After the deadline, start calling people up.

    I'm actually less likely to forget to RSVP if the invitation is electronic. Paperless Post is very nice; our venue used it for the group menu tasting.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • Personally, I would have no idea if I could attend or not, 6 weeks out. Most people won't know for probably another few weeks. You should just now be sending invitations out anyway. It's way too early to be bugging them about attendance.

    And yes, it's probably in their spam folder, or they deleted it assuming it was spam. I would not take a wedding invitation seriously that was sent by e-mail. I'd be waiting for the real invitation to come by snail mail. So, probably about 2 weeks before the wedding, start calling people to see if they're coming.

    If you want to send a gentle note (individually and privately, not a group email) for them to check their spam folders for the invitation, you could. But I'd expect that most people paid very little attention to it.
    HisGirlFriday13
  • Many people on our guests list are technologically challenged, or they have limited access to internet due to choice or lifestyle. I, for example, live and work in the the middle of a redwood forest; I am lucky to have internet! 

    Anywho, online invitations may never even get read, and this could be the case for you depending on your crowd.

    Since you've already proceeded though, I would wait until after the deadline to start calling people. Do RSVPs already know the details? If not, and they didn't read the invitation by then, they may not be able to plan with such little notice. 

    I hope that all works out for you!
  • If it were me, I would think that people who haven't even opened the invitation yet (if that means the email) are not going to. It would easily get lost in their inboxes, or went right to spam. 

    I would call these people first (at the RSVP deadline or maybe even before then if you would be comfortable calling them socially anyway), or resend the email to them, or send them an email from your actual address that wouldn't go to a spam folder. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • All evites get sent to my spam box and deleted without opening.  A few years ago I opened an "evite" from my aunt that turned into a virus. That was after her email was hacked.  NEVER AGAIN.

    Just saying, in theory evites sound good, they probably work really well for small guests lists, but I don't think they work well the larger the guest list.

    Anyway, once the RSVP date passes started calling.    That is the same thing us paper people do.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    RebeccaB88HisGirlFriday13
  • Online invitations to a wedding? Sorry, but EW. 

    I probably wouldn't respond because I usually read something and intend to get back to it later; if it's paper sitting on our table/counter/fridge I'm reminded that I need to act.  If it's an email, it drifts further and further down the list until it's forgotton forever.

     

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • OP, when is the RSVP deadline?



  • I don't find online invites "ew" but they do indicate a more casual wedding to me.  We sent online STD but will send paper invitations, with an option to RSVP online.  Our wedding is a DW and is on the smaller side, 60 guests about 25 invites total.  At 6 weeks I wouldn't expect to many RSVPs.  TBH I am usually pretty late in sending in the RSVPs, but I do send them in.
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