I need some advice

samantha9987

So we pick a venue which I am in love with. However, the venue only holds 120 people. It's a pavilion in one of the parks. Now we have a guest list of 140 people. My FI family have more then half that list with just family.  Do we start cutting family members? Plus my FI mother put some family friends on there, plus kids.  I don't think it's fair for me to start cutting my people on my side of the list if it only takes up 1/4 of the list.  We just added his dad's side and his friends.  I finally brought the list down to 140 people.  Now what to do?

clarke10

If FH's family makes up that much of the guest list, then the cuts should come from his side. I agree that it's unfair for you to have to cut more family members when he has so many people on the guest list. 

hlvonb

samantha9987 said:

So we pick a venue which I am in love with. However, the venue only holds 120 people. It's a pavilion in one of the parks. Now we have a guest list of 140 people. My FI family have more then half that list with just family.  Do we start cutting family members? Plus my FI mother put some family friends on there, plus kids.  I don't think it's fair for me to start cutting my people on my side of the list if it only takes up 1/4 of the list.  We just added his dad's side and his friends.  I finally brought the list down to 140 people.  Now what to do?

@samantha9987

If the FI's side takes up that much then like @clarke10 said cuts should start on that side. I would first cut the non-family people. Maybe start with the kids of the family friends. If that doesn't get you down enough then move on to the adult family friends. Then IF you HAVE to cut family start with the ones that you're pretty sure won't come anyway or that no one has talked to for a long time (or however you decide). Family should be the last ones cut though.

samantha9987

Ok, how would you ask the family friends not to bring there kids without being rude? I thought of that idea after looking at this list, which would help with the number.  I didn't think it would be fair to cut family memebers with kids. I figure this gives families the opportunity to caught up. Plus cousins want to see cousins, right? This probably has been the most stressful part of the planning.

StephJean83

samantha9987 said:

Ok, how would you ask the family friends not to bring there kids without being rude? I thought of that idea after looking at this list, which would help with the number.  I didn't think it would be fair to cut family memebers with kids. I figure this gives families the opportunity to caught up. Plus cousins want to see cousins, right? This probably has been the most stressful part of the planning.

You don't ask the family friends not to bring their kids, you address you invites to just the people you are inviting. My FH and I opted to do just children we are related to and of our bridal party to cut our guest list down. If any friends with kids ask to bring their kids or RSVP with their kids, you will just have to let them know that the invite is just for Mrs. and Mr. Good luck!

samantha9987

Who should be the one to address the FI's family, should it be him or his mother? (This is regarding the family friends and the children) 

StephJean83

samantha9987 said:

Who should be the one to address the FI's family, should it be him or his mother? (This is regarding the family friends and the children) 

In regards to telling, no the kids aren't invited? I say your FI since it is your wedding. However if they contact your FMIL vs your FI, she can and should say that the invite is for Mrs and Mr. only. If it is on the RSVP, have your FI call them up and let them know.