You're getting married?!? So the kids must be coming next year right?!?

VulgarGirl

We've been together 10 years. About 4 years ago the "when are you having kids" questions started up. Progressive friends and family mean no one cares about having kids without being married first...I guess.

Not only do we get badgered about when we will procreate but also how. See, you heterosexual partnership people get it easy. Everyone just assumes you'll do it the good old fashioned way. Too many glasses of wine, no birth control and bada-bing baby. But we can't do it that way and people know that so they think it's ok to ask how we will go about doing it. In case you were curious, it's generally not ok to ask. In less we're super close friends. I mean close. Hide a body close.

My current list of baby questions:

Who will carry?

Who's gonna donate?

Known donor or anonymous?

Why aren't you adopting?
I wouldn't adopt from foster care something could be wrong with it!

I could never raise a kid that wasn't biologically mine.

Aren't you worried you won't feel connected since it isn't yours?

Did you consider IVF?

So you'll be the dad then?

Well who is gonna stay home with the baby?

Why isn't she staying home with the baby?
Why don't you just do it the old fashioned way?

FI's carrying, not information you need, known donor, we might adopt from foster care, our kid's gonna need therapy regardless, my kid will be my kid, it's too costly/not worth it, no I'll still be mom, me more then her, because her job isn't as flexible, because we're lesbians and lesbians don't have sex with men, it's a rule.

My mom gets more annoyed then me though because she keeps getting variations of "When is Fiona going to make you grandma?", her current rant is about how it isn't my job as her daughter to procreate just so she can be a grandma and that I have plenty of time to have children if I choose to do so. She made a comment to someone about how FI will carry and they said "Oh, so it won't really be your grandchild", and somehow that person managed to escape with their life.

VulgarGirl

Also, little known fact FI has discovered, if you don't have kids before you turn 30 your uterus will just fall right out of you.

When she says she isn't sure when we'll start TTCing people tell her "Well you aren't getting any younger! Your gonna be 30 in a few years!", at which point, uterus just falls right out. At least that's what we're guessing happens. My mom says no but...I'm not so sure. I mean, she had kid before she was 30, how would she know?

[Deleted User]

@MagicInk I get the 30 year old uterus comments too- that's about the age I'll be when we want to start TTC- I just can't believe no one ever mentioned that in health class...

daveANDkristen

MagicInk said:

We've been together 10 years. About 4 years ago the "when are you having kids" questions started up. Progressive friends and family mean no one cares about having kids without being married first...I guess.

Not only do we get badgered about when we will procreate but also how. See, you heterosexual partnership people get it easy. Everyone just assumes you'll do it the good old fashioned way. Too many glasses of wine, no birth control and bada-bing baby. But we can't do it that way and people know that so they think it's ok to ask how we will go about doing it. In case you were curious, it's generally not ok to ask. In less we're super close friends. I mean close. Hide a body close.

My current list of baby questions:

Who will carry?

Who's gonna donate?

Known donor or anonymous?

Why aren't you adopting?
I wouldn't adopt from foster care something could be wrong with it!

I could never raise a kid that wasn't biologically mine.

Aren't you worried you won't feel connected since it isn't yours?

Did you consider IVF?

So you'll be the dad then?

Well who is gonna stay home with the baby?

Why isn't she staying home with the baby?
Why don't you just do it the old fashioned way?

FI's carrying, not information you need, known donor, we might adopt from foster care, our kid's gonna need therapy regardless, my kid will be my kid, it's too costly/not worth it, no I'll still be mom, me more then her, because her job isn't as flexible, because we're lesbians and lesbians don't have sex with men, it's a rule.

My mom gets more annoyed then me though because she keeps getting variations of "When is Fiona going to make you grandma?", her current rant is about how it isn't my job as her daughter to procreate just so she can be a grandma and that I have plenty of time to have children if I choose to do so. She made a comment to someone about how FI will carry and they said "Oh, so it won't really be your grandchild", and somehow that person managed to escape with their life.

To the bolded: OMFG.  So, it only counts if you're a biological parent?  What about all the amazing step-parents and adoptive parents out there?!  I can't believe someone would say this...

As for uterus falling out at 30, I can assure you that's not the case.  I turned 30 in January and my uterus is still very much in place and doing it's thing. 

H and I have been married about a year and a half, and we have gotten our fair share of baby questions.  We're not ready (and aren't sure we'll ever be), so I pretty much tell those people not to hold their breath.

erinlin25

it never stops either!  We are about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and it is still a constant question. I just tell people you'll know when we know! My SIL is pregnant with her 2nd (another boy) and people are already asking if they are going to try for a girl? Face meet palm-- Really people...