Instead of a wedding shower, our destination bride-to-be is requesting a cocktail style masquerade themed party that starts at 7pm. She wanted the bridal party to take care of the entire expense for this party of 75 or more people, including food, beverages, alcohol, centerpieces, candy bar, tableware, menu cards, photo backdrop, favors, etc. The budget for the event totaled more than $2K at the last estimate. Many bridesmaids feel this is too much to ask, especially since this is a destination wedding and she requested to go to Vegas for the bachelorette party. We have thankfully talked her out of that. After hearing complaints and questions from the wedding party, she has reluctantly agreed to pay for food and alcohol but expects bridesmaids to pay for decorations, centerpieces, tableware, DJ, non-alcoholic beverages, candy bar, photo backdrop and cake. She insists this is not a "reception" but a party, but requested us to save space for a grooms cake. This was originally supposed to be a medium sized gathering of family and friends but has become a party for everyone who can't attend the wedding. We also received a visual and PowerPoint presentation at our first bridesmaids meeting that outlined the details of what she wanted at her "wedding shower". She even wanted the party on the weekend of one bridesmaid's 35th birthday which she knew wasn't a good weekend in advance. Please advise as how to proceed and or address the bride. By the way, she has requested (through her maid-of-honor) that no one call and ask her any questions/ details about the shower. Any questions are to be addressed to the maid-of-honor, who will ask the bride, and we will get answers in that manner. This process seems a little unethical for friends, do you think? Please help with any advice or suggestions?