Broke my own rule tonight

HisGirlFriday13

I always swore I'd never be a BM again. Five times was my limit.

A friend of mine got engaged tonight and called to ask me to be her BM.

I said yes.

She's a good friend and she's worth breaking my own rule for.

I'm kind of excited. OK, A LOT excited!!!

JCbride2015

YAY!  I hope there are no Bridezilla moments and you have an awesome time!

lyndausvi

LOL - Glad you are excited.

i'm glad I'm passed the BM stage.   Too expensive and too many expectations these days for my liking.

Hope it runs smooth for you.

HisGirlFriday13

I think she'll be chill. I hope so.

Rebl90

Glad you're excited!! Congrats on being a happy BM!  I'm jealous of you ladies who keep saying that you're "past the BM stage", we're the 2nd couple in our group to get married so we have quite a few weddings ahead!

jenna8984

I have been in two so far and I honestly wish I could say it was the end. But I only have 2 BM's and neither of them are married so I will have to be in theirs. Sounds mean but I just don't find it enjoyable, I'm sure it'll be better with them since I'm much closer friends compared to the two I was in. 

HisGirlFriday13

I am 32, almost 33. My friend is planning an autumn 2015 wedding. I warned her I might be PG then (we plan to start TTC in early 2015), and she said, 'I don't care what you look lkke, as long as you're there. If you're PG, we'll pick empire waist dresses. It's more important to me that you stand up (or sit down) for me than what you look like.'

JCbride2015

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I am 32, almost 33. My friend is planning an autumn 2015 wedding. I warned her I might be PG then (we plan to start TTC in early 2015), and she said, 'I don't care what you look lkke, as long as you're there. If you're PG, we'll pick empire waist dresses. It's more important to me that you stand up (or sit down) for me than what you look like.'

Can we save this for posterity for the next SS "OMgee my MOH is preggers and how do I replace her?"

HisGirlFriday13

Haha! I was so touched when she said that. I almost cried. It was so sweet. DH was like, 'Why would being PG matter?'

I explained to him about the speshul snowflake mentality regarding BM clones.

He said, 'But you asked your PG cousin to be our reader, until she was put on bed rest in month 6 of her pregnancy [three months before our wedding], and no one cared, other than my fucking crazy aunt and grandmother. And they're fucking crazy.'

I then re-explained BM clones. He was like, 'What the fuck?! Women are fucking crazy. Who the fuck cares if you're fucking pregnant?'

HisGirlFriday13

lyndausvi said:

LOL - Glad you are excited.

i'm glad I'm passed the BM stage.   Too expensive and too many expectations these days for my liking.

Hope it runs smooth for you.

I was really glad to be past that stage, too. But...I think this will be fun.

She's older than I am, so she's got NO speshul snowflake expectations. Thank God.

Rebl90

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I am 32, almost 33. My friend is planning an autumn 2015 wedding. I warned her I might be PG then (we plan to start TTC in early 2015), and she said, 'I don't care what you look lkke, as long as you're there. If you're PG, we'll pick empire waist dresses. It's more important to me that you stand up (or sit down) for me than what you look like.'

Your friend sounds so sweet! But from everything I've read on here you seem like a pretty rad no- nonsense gal so I'm sure you wouldn't stand for any speshul snoflake friends!

lyndausvi

When it was around the time to order the dresses one of my BM's became distant.    So called her up and said "when are you due".    Mind you I lived in the islands and she lived in the states.   She was like "OMG,  How did you know?".

Gut feeling since she was distant ordering the dresses, kind-of put 2and2 together. She was due in late Oct, my wedding was in early-Sept.  She wanted to withdraw because she was pregnant (she is type-a and stresses over stuff like this).  I'm pretty laid-back (we are polar opposites). I refused to take her resignation.  HA.

Then I asked her to not make any rash decisions.   I asked her to pick out any dress in brown she wanted.  She could walk (or waddle) down  and stand with the other girls or sit with my parents, whatever.   She had up until we walk down to decide.  I just wanted her there (assuming medically she could).   

The next day she called and said she was staying  in the wedding.  I'm not kidding when I say I never saw her dress till the wedding day. She ended up with a dress from the same designer as the other girls, in a similar style.   She walked down the aisle, stood with the other girls and even did a reading.   

Had her doctor told her she could not come (it was 3 hours from her) I would have sent the bouquet to her.

It was such a non-issue for me.   

monkeysip

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Haha! I was so touched when she said that. I almost cried. It was so sweet. DH was like, 'Why would being PG matter?' I explained to him about the speshul snowflake mentality regarding BM clones. He said, 'But you asked your PG cousin to be our reader, until she was put on bed rest in month 6 of her pregnancy [three months before our wedding], and no one cared, other than my fucking crazy aunt and grandmother. And they're fucking crazy.' I then re-explained BM clones. He was like, 'What the fuck?! Women are fucking crazy. Who the fuck cares if you're fucking pregnant?'

Ummm... because a woman with a big baby bump is totes going to ruin my pictures and take all the attention away from ME!  DUH!

Cookie Pusher

Everyone should put their lives on hold because my wedding is the most important day ever. I mean, seriously, what's more important - my wedding or your desire to have children? Be real here.

NavyBlue143

Your friend sounds awesome. I would love to have a postive bridesmaid experience, but I have only been in one wedding and my friend went completely bridezilla. Most of our friends are either already married or not the marrying type.

My best friend was 9 months pregnant at our wedding and my only concern was her health, since the wedding was 12 hours away from where they lived. But her Dr. said it was ok, so I was fine with it. I provided a chair for the ceremony. I really don't get why people freak out about the slight possibility of a bridesmaid going into labor on the day of. Unless you are getting married in the Congo or something, she probably won't be giving birth on the dance floor, since labor usually takes a little while and most of the developed world has hospitals relatively nearby.

KDM323

How is anyone "past the BM" phase? I don't understand that.

lyndausvi

drexelkathy said:

How is anyone "past the BM" phase? I don't understand that.

I'm old and all my close female family/friends are already married. 

LadyMillil

Congrats! I'm so happy your friend is awesome and will be fine if you're PG at her wedding. One if my. BMs was TTC for over a year before my wedding. She found out she was PG just after I asked her to be in my wedding, and she was nervous that I wouldn't be okay with her having a baby a few weeks before my wedding. I was thrilled to be able to see her little man at my wedding, and got him a onesie with a tie on it to wear. And he didn't make a peep during the RD, ceremony or reception. If you didn't see him, you would have had no idea he was there.

HisGirlFriday13

lyndausvi said:

drexelkathy said:

How is anyone "past the BM" phase? I don't understand that.

I'm old and all my close female family/friends are already married. 

This. Other than this single friend, most of my friends are married. I'm not close enough to a lot of single girls to be asked to be a BM anymore.

KDM323

Oh...so in other words the marriages of your older friends are less special than those of your younger friends?

This is all a bunch of pretentious crap, IMHO.

KDM323

Then again, OP makes fun of her husband online about SUGAR...so I don't expect much in regards to her friendships

pinkshorts27

drexelkathy said:

Oh...so in other words the marriages of your older friends are less special than those of your younger friends? This is all a bunch of pretentious crap, IMHO.

Fuck what? If most of my girlfriends were married I would think I would have to be a bridesmaid again. And she isn't pretentious enough to assume her friend would ask her? I don't think she ever ever said they were less special. 

pinkshorts27

drexelkathy said:

Then again, OP makes fun of her husband online about SUGAR...so I don't expect much in regards to her friendships

Pretty hard to read tone on the internet, but if she thought it was common knowledge, I could see her teasing him. I tease my FI all the time about baseball rules he doesn't know about. I give her the benefit of the doubt on tone for that one. Typing what you say comes off much differently than saying it. 

Rebl90

drexelkathy said:

Oh...so in other words the marriages of your older friends are less special than those of your younger friends? This is all a bunch of pretentious crap, IMHO.

Oh FFS...You obviously need to read through the posts again because you are the only one misunderstanding the conversation. 

drexelkathy said:

Then again, OP makes fun of her husband online about SUGAR...so I don't expect much in regards to her friendships

She didn't make fun of him, she was telling a story about how she was teasing him about what she thought was common knowledge, huge difference. Someone making fun of their husband would say, "OMG you guyzzz, DH is SO DUMB because he didn't know what 10x sugar meant! Can you believe I married such an idiot!!!!".

 It might do you good to actually read HisGirl's posts as you obviously are struggling with comprehending with what she is communicating. (And if you spent any real time reading things that you wrote you would know that she does not come across at all as someone who would do the things you're accusing her of).

Grow up. 

pinkcow13

Then again, OP makes fun of her husband online about SUGAR...so I don't expect much in regards to her friendships

She was teasing him, not making fun of him. Don't you ever playfully tease your FI? And she never said anything about any friends being less special than others. Stop reading into things. If you read Hisgirl's posts you would know she is nothing like what you're accusing gee of being. Geez.

pinkshorts27

snippet17 said:

How is anyone "past the BM" phase? I don't understand that.

QFT.

If you have been a bridesmaid many times and seen your fair share of wedding craziness and bought many dresses that you didn't ever wear again, I could see that. 

But I really don't think it was meant like that, by HisGirl at least. I would say that (correct me if I'm wrong HisGirl) that most of her friends are married, so she is past the stage in the sense that she thought there was no one left to be a bridesmaid for.   

But even if it isn't what she meant, I could understand being tired of spending that much money and being involved in the wedding process. 

KPBM89

Aww yay-glad you're excited!  I'm still mid-20's, and I'll be in a wedding this September and one next May.  Two other friends of mine that are in serious relationships have mentioned me being a bridesmaid in their weddings if they get married, but that will probably be it for me.  Just because they're the only people I'm close with.

Also, completely off topic, but HGF I just saw your review on my Etsy page from like a week ago and it was so sweet!  Thank you so much!

lyndausvi

How is anyone "past the BM" phase? I don't understand that.

QFT.

** stuck on box

It's not hard to understand.  I'm older and ALL of my close family and friends are already married.    

I'm not saying that younger friends don't mean more. It's just that at this point of my life all my close friends are already married.  I got married at age 39.  I was the last of my friends to get married.  They were BMs.  I'm know for a fact I was the last wedding they were a BM.  Now their own kids are getting married and my friends are the MOB not BM.

Sugargirl1019

drexelkathy said:

Oh...so in other words the marriages of your older friends are less special than those of your younger friends?

This is all a bunch of pretentious crap, IMHO.

I don't know how in the world you picked that out of her post. I think you're purposefully trying to find something hurtful to say about her. Lay off. She is obviously extremely excited for her friend.

It is stupid to get butt hurt about something so silly and carry it over to this thread as hate.

HisGirlFriday13

blueeyes90 said:

snippet17 said:

drexelkathy said:

How is anyone "past the BM" phase? I don't understand that.

QFT.

If you have been a bridesmaid many times and seen your fair share of wedding craziness and bought many dresses that you didn't ever wear again, I could see that. 

But I really don't think it was meant like that, by HisGirl at least. I would say that (correct me if I'm wrong HisGirl) that most of her friends are married, so she is past the stage in the sense that she thought there was no one left to be a bridesmaid for.   

But even if it isn't what she meant, I could understand being tired of spending that much money and being involved in the wedding process. 

Yep! Most of my friends married very young -- either right out of HS or soon after college, so I just don't have many single friends, period, let alone any that I'm close enough to I'd even think they'd ask me to be a BM.

Or, on the flip side, several of my friends are on marriage No. 2 and are foregoing bridal parties at all, because they feel like they did that already and don't want to do it again. It wouldn't bother me to be a BM for a subsequent marriage, but I can see why they want a smaller affair the second time around.

jdluvr06

I can understand not wanting to be a BM again. It can cost a lot of money and can be time consuming. That doesn't mean someone is any less excited for their friend.