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Invites and Paper

To whom do the RSVP cards need to go?

I'm getting ready to finalize and order my invites soon, but I'm having a dilemma. My parents are hosting and paying, so I feel that etiquette dictates that the RSVP cards go to their house. Am I correct? Quite honestly, the OCD/control freak part of me would prefer to have them come to me so that I know they won't get lost.... (My parents house can be kind of a black hole for important papers, etc). But I won't do this if it's weird or doesn't follow etiquette. Plus, let's be honest, I love to get mail. What do you guys think?

Re: To whom do the RSVP cards need to go?

  • P.S. The printer offers free printing of the response envelope with our address... This is ok, right? Or should they be hand written? Our main envelopes will be handwritten, obviously.
  • vmj23vmj23 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its 5 Answers
    I had mine sent to my house and coming home to more rsvp's each day after they went out was so exciting!   I def wanted to be in control of them, and be able to keep track. 
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Technically, they should go back to your parents as they are hosting.  We sent them back to my parents and it was nice to check in with my mom each day to see which ones came back.  I then kept track of it all on a spreadsheet after each call.  No big deal, but my mom is very organized too so I wasn't worried.  If you're concerned, there's no harm in sending them back to you.

    And yes, printed response envelope is perfectly fine.
  • Ask your parents if they want them or want you to handle it. To me that seems more important than whether it's traditional to have them sent to the host or not. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We had ours sent to me even though my dad was paying and hosting. I was the one organizing everything, so it would have been pointless to have them sent to him.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Yea, mine will come to me even though parents are paying for things and hosting day of. They won't be offended.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    We had them sent to my parents.  If it weren't for the fact that H and I were moving around the time when RSVPs were coming in they would have just come to us since I was taking care of the seating chart, etc.

    RSVPs should go back to the person that is hosting, but if you and your FI are handling the seating chart and headcount and all of that jazz then they should come to you just because it is a bit easier.

  • I don't think I've ever even noticed whose name/address were on the return envelope when I've sent them back before. I don't think it makes a difference. Your parents are listed on the invite itself as hosts, that's what matters.

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  • Thanks! My mom and I got to spend 12 hours of quality time on our way back from some wedding planning in our DW location today so we made a plan. For whatever reason, she feels pretty strongly about having them sent to her house. So, we're going to get a basket and they'll all go straight in there and I will go pick them up every few days.

    Will cut down on the excitement of the mail, but they're being super generous about paying for everything, so if that's what makes her happy, I've decided it's not a battle worth fighting!
  • OCD is a mental disability.  Unless you have actually been diagnosed with it, please don't use it in a joking manner.  It is no joke to those who actually suffer from it.
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  • @CMGragain Thanks for the reminder. You're completely right. I have become kind of desensitized apparently because we make that reference a lot at my work justifying why we are so incredibly particular about insignificant things. But it's definitely something I need to remove from my casual language.
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